User Tag List

First 12345 Last

Results 21 to 30 of 72

  1. #21
    Senior Member alcea rosea's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    7w6
    Socionics
    ????
    Posts
    3,665

    Default

    I think unconsistent is the word here. ENFP's are unconsistent in their behavior and that is the most charasteritic. The behavior is not the same in a long run but it varies depending on the people, situation, the mood and so on. I think some types are more consistent in their behavior, but ENFP's aren't one of those types.

    But to know an ENFP, in my opinion, is much harder than with many other types. I mean ENFP's are chameleons that change color according to the situation and the people and are quite open in their communication and about their personality. But very rarely other people really take time to actually get to know another person, and to really know ENFP, deep down, that doesn't really happen too often in my experience. People just think they know you but actually they don't have a clue who you are. It's actually quite annoying. Somekind of miscommunication between openness and randomness of ENFP's behavior and unconsistency and being warm to people they meet (not all but most).

    But this is my experience , don't really know if it's what you other ENFP's feel....?

  2. #22
    RETIRED CzeCze's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    MBTI
    GONE
    Posts
    9,051

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by alcea rosea View Post
    I think unconsistent is the word here. ENFP's are unconsistent in their behavior and that is the most charasteritic. The behavior is not the same in a long run but it varies depending on the people, situation, the mood and so on. I think some types are more consistent in their behavior, but ENFP's aren't one of those types.

    But to know an ENFP, in my opinion, is much harder than with many other types. I mean ENFP's are chameleons that change color according to the situation and the people and are quite open in their communication and about their personality. But very rarely other people really take time to actually get to know another person, and to really know ENFP, deep down, that doesn't really happen too often in my experience. People just think they know you but actually they don't have a clue who you are. It's actually quite annoying. Somekind of miscommunication between openness and randomness of ENFP's behavior and unconsistency and being warm to people they meet (not all but most).

    But this is my experience , don't really know if it's what you other ENFP's feel....?
    This is a problem I've realized as I do online dating. My profile keeps becoming more and more general to be agreeable to as many people as possible instead of actually saying who I want to date and what I'm like in a relationship. Then it gets unforgivably wordy.

    I'm also SO primary so I adapt myself ALL THE TIME to the people around me. In some ways it's terrible as I can never feel totally at ease and I edit myself to make myself less offensive and more agreeable to what I think people want to see instead of just be me - which I think ultimately builds the strongest bonds anyways.

    Bah.

    BAH! I say.
    “If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.” ― Oscar Wilde

    "I'm outtie 5000" ― Romulux

    Johari/Nohari

  3. #23
    Senior Member alcea rosea's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    7w6
    Socionics
    ????
    Posts
    3,665

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by CzeCze View Post
    I'm also SO primary so I adapt myself ALL THE TIME to the people around me. In some ways it's terrible as I can never feel totally at ease and I edit myself to make myself less offensive and more agreeable to what I think people want to see instead of just be me - which I think ultimately builds the strongest bonds anyways.
    .
    Me too. It's like I disappear with people, and becoming/changing to the people that I am with, change myself to be the right kind in that situation. And when they leave and when I'm alone, I'm me again and everybody who saw me didn't really see me. But it is my problem as much as theirs. I need to stop loosing myself when other people around and on the other hand they (at least some of them) should take time to really know me. But this all comes so natural for me (changing according to the situation) that it is very difficult not to do it. A lot of learning ahead! Bah.

  4. #24
    RETIRED CzeCze's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    MBTI
    GONE
    Posts
    9,051

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by alcea rosea View Post
    Me too. It's like I disappear with people, and becoming/changing to the people that I am with, change myself to be the right kind in that situation. And when they leave and when I'm alone, I'm me again and everybody who saw me didn't really see me. But it is my problem as much as theirs. I need to stop loosing myself when other people around and on the other hand they (at least some of them) should take time to really know me. But this all comes so natural for me (changing according to the situation) that it is very difficult not to do it. A lot of learning ahead! Bah.
    Did you ever read "The Managed Heart"? It's a sociologist's book about the effects of the service industry on employees. Always having to be nice and accommodating (which is kinda bs in the states because most customer service people are NOT on point at any given time) led them to mask their feelings in real life.

    I think I kinda do that. It kinda pisses me off.

    But, apparently Te kicks in high gear as you get older so things should balance out nicely.

    “If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.” ― Oscar Wilde

    "I'm outtie 5000" ― Romulux

    Johari/Nohari

  5. #25
    Senior Member alcea rosea's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    7w6
    Socionics
    ????
    Posts
    3,665

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by CzeCze View Post
    Did you ever read "The Managed Heart"? It's a sociologist's book about the effects of the service industry on employees. Always having to be nice and accommodating (which is kinda bs in the states because most customer service people are NOT on point at any given time) led them to mask their feelings in real life.

    I think I kinda do that. It kinda pisses me off.

    But, apparently Te kicks in high gear as you get older so things should balance out nicely.

    I haven't heard of that book, but I'll have to definitely to read it.

    And I do that too. Very natural way of being for me, to "change myself" temporary and to put my own emotions down. Mask their emotions - that sound pretty familiar.

    And it pisses me off too. We need to do ENFP revolution of not accomodating according to othe people.

  6. #26
    Senior Member INTP's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    MBTI
    intp
    Enneagram
    5w4 sx
    Posts
    7,823

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Elfboy View Post
    yes, everyone does have different sides of them, but ENFPs have more
    I dont think its more roles, but more like going on with the role more strongly, turning the role on easily and switching between these roles more rapidly. I think it has to do with the strong empathy that ENFPs have, taking the role so easily and strongly because of the strong mirroring of the other person
    "Where wisdom reigns, there is no conflict between thinking and feeling."
    — C.G. Jung

    Read

  7. #27
    Certified Sausage Smoker Elfboy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    5w4 sx/sp
    Socionics
    SLI None
    Posts
    9,635

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by INTP View Post
    I dont think its more roles, but more like going on with the role more strongly, turning the role on easily and switching between these roles more rapidly. I think it has to do with the strong empathy that ENFPs have, taking the role so easily and strongly because of the strong mirroring of the other person
    you would be incorrect. it's not dependent on who were're around much of the time
    ENFP: We put the Fi in Fire
    ENFP
    5w4>1w9>2w1 Sx/Sp
    SEE-Fi
    Papa Bear
    Motivation: Dark Worker
    Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
    Chibi Seme
    MTG Color: black/red
    Male Archtype: King/Lover
    Sunburst!
    "You are a gay version of Gambit" Speed Gavroche
    "I wish that I could be affected by any hate, but I can't, cuz I just get affected by the bank" Chamillionaire

  8. #28
    Senior Member INTP's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    MBTI
    intp
    Enneagram
    5w4 sx
    Posts
    7,823

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Elfboy View Post
    you would be incorrect. it's not dependent on who were're around much of the time
    If you were on your normal happy mood and you met a friend who was in same mood. And what about if this friend of yours were crying and total emotional mess and ranting to you. Do you think you would have the same role in both situations? assuming that your mental state in both cases were the same. I think not and feom what i have seen ENFPs are really heavily affected by stuff like this.

    I dont think this "role" is about faking(at least not always), but about relating to others and acting in certain ways in a compromise of mirroring the other person and own mental state. And ENFPs tend to put more weight on this empathy mirroring part than some other types
    "Where wisdom reigns, there is no conflict between thinking and feeling."
    — C.G. Jung

    Read

  9. #29
    Certified Sausage Smoker Elfboy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    5w4 sx/sp
    Socionics
    SLI None
    Posts
    9,635

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by INTP View Post
    If you were on your normal happy mood and you met a friend who was in same mood. And what about if this friend of yours were crying and total emotional mess and ranting to you. Do you think you would have the same role in both situations? assuming that your mental state in both cases were the same. I think not and feom what i have seen ENFPs are really heavily affected by stuff like this.

    I dont think this "role" is about faking(at least not always), but about relating to others and acting in certain ways in a compromise of mirroring the other person and own mental state. And ENFPs tend to put more weight on this empathy mirroring part than some other types
    I respond to their emotional state, but I don't feel it myself. for instance, given your example of the crying friend, I would think "yay! finally a chance to be affectionate and comfort a friend! "
    ENFP: We put the Fi in Fire
    ENFP
    5w4>1w9>2w1 Sx/Sp
    SEE-Fi
    Papa Bear
    Motivation: Dark Worker
    Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
    Chibi Seme
    MTG Color: black/red
    Male Archtype: King/Lover
    Sunburst!
    "You are a gay version of Gambit" Speed Gavroche
    "I wish that I could be affected by any hate, but I can't, cuz I just get affected by the bank" Chamillionaire

  10. #30
    Senior Member INTP's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    MBTI
    intp
    Enneagram
    5w4 sx
    Posts
    7,823

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Elfboy View Post
    I respond to their emotional state, but I don't feel it myself. for instance, given your example of the crying friend, I would think "yay! finally a chance to be affectionate and comfort a friend! "

    Okay, but im talking about how this relating to other happens. This respomding to other i think comes from what i said and this not feeling what the other person feels and responding to how you feel is the result of compromise that i said on other post.

    Anyways you said that you take the role of nurturer when you see your friend crying, right? Now if you met other friend who was all happy, would you still take the role of nurturer? I doubt.

    Then if you compare for example an INTP to ENFP and how easily they take this role of nurturer, INTP would need a stronger stimuli(friend feeling worse) to take this role. And the strenght of the role, ENFP would be more intense nurturer(stronger role) than an INTP.
    "Where wisdom reigns, there is no conflict between thinking and feeling."
    — C.G. Jung

    Read

Similar Threads

  1. [ENFP] ENFP and INFP relationship
    By Lotr246 in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 20
    Last Post: 04-29-2013, 03:35 PM
  2. [ENFP] ENFPs and problem solving
    By BlueScreen in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 03-30-2010, 10:11 AM
  3. [ENFP] ENFPs and feeling ... confused, fake, misunderstood, weird....
    By Chloe in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 44
    Last Post: 05-10-2009, 05:00 PM
  4. [ENFP] ENFP's and Personal Style
    By soleil in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 50
    Last Post: 10-17-2008, 04:03 AM
  5. [ENFP] ENFPs and perception of "well-likedness"
    By autumn in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 61
    Last Post: 10-16-2008, 08:45 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO