"Dear INFJ Gentlemen, you are NOT ESTPs... So quit acting like it!"
Let me be the first to point out that the above statement does not apply to all INFJ gentlemen. And the ones it does apply to, it doesn't apply all the time. Nonetheless, I feel like it has to be said.
I've seen several INFJ gentlemen in my acquaintance act like the most obnoxious... well like really obnoxious ESTPs. (No offense to ESTPs. I'm not talking about a normal, mentally-healthy ESTP.) I'm talking about people acting out their shadow functions. According to Jung, everyone has a shadow aspect to their personality that consists of repressed weaknesses, shortcomings, and instincts. For an INFJ, their shadow functions are embodied in an ESTP's dominant functions.
Some - but not all - of the behavior I've noticed includes blatant womanizing and a really annoying BMOC (big-man-on-campus) attitude. It's sort of like they are trying so hard... too hard... to not be the sweet, sensitive, quiet guys they were born to be.
I've often thought that INFJ men were dealt a tough hand. In fact, our culture teaches men to be as un-INFJ as possible doesn't it? That's gotta be a real mind f*ck to the heterosexual male INFJ mindset.
The same could be said for all NF males. But I think that INFJ and INFP males have a particularly tough time of it. But I've only noticed this "shadow embracing" pattern in INFJ males. (Admittedly my anecdotal evidence is based on a small sample set. There are so few INFJ males out there.)
This won't be the first thread on how one struggles with being an NF male. And it won't be the last. I guess I was hoping for advice on how to be a good friend to my INFJ male friends when they are feeling the weight of society's expectations on them. Up until this point, the only thing I can think of is to whack 'em on the back of the head in the way Gibbs does to DiNozzo on NCIS.