[INFJ] Dear INFJ Gentlemen, you are NOT ESTPs... So quit acting like it!

[mrcockburn]

Hahahaha, I am not scared of rats, spiders, worms, ants, [name a bug unless it is really poisonous or hurts like a fire ant.] In fact, I am usually the one who has to handle these things because other people were so afraid of them.

Wanna trade residences? So I can get off my fucking yearlong lease? $800/month for a private room.

 

[Riva]

Hahahaha, I am not scared of rats, spiders, worms, ants, [name a bug unless it is really poisonous or hurts like a fire ant.] In fact, I am usually the one who has to handle these things because other people were so afraid of them.

You eat them? Ewww... lolz

 

[Rail Tracer]

Wanna trade residences? So I can get off my fucking yearlong lease? $800/month for a private room.

Too bad , this place isn't my property.

 

[Rail Tracer]

You eat them? Ewww... lolz

Lol, I smash them like the insects they were. While my siblings were on the other side of the room, I was the only one who was willing to get near the bugs.

As for eating them, I cannot receive such an honorable title yet

[MENTION=9016]mrcockburn[/MENTION] But yeah, being scared of rats or bugs or something... doesn't make you an Feeler.

 

[mrcockburn]

Lol, I smash them like the insects they were. While my siblings were on the other side of the room, I was the only one who was willing to get near the bugs.

As for eating them, I cannot receive such an honorable title yet

[MENTION=9016]mrcockburn[/MENTION] But yeah, being scared of rats or bugs or something... doesn't make you an Feeler.

What's weird is...the only pests I'm afraid of are rodents and roaches (aka the demonic R&R, as I put it...) Spiders I love, ants I don't care about as long as they don't disease my food.

Actually, I'm afraid of wasps, too...but that's because I'm deathly allergic to them.

 

[Renn]

"Dear INFJ Gentlemen, you are NOT ESTPs... So quit acting like it!"

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Let me be the first to point out that the above statement does not apply to all INFJ gentlemen. And the ones it does apply to, it doesn't apply all the time. Nonetheless, I feel like it has to be said.

I've seen several INFJ gentlemen in my acquaintance act like the most obnoxious... well like really obnoxious ESTPs. (No offense to ESTPs. I'm not talking about a normal, mentally-healthy ESTP.) I'm talking about people acting out their shadow functions. According to Jung, everyone has a shadow aspect to their personality that consists of repressed weaknesses, shortcomings, and instincts. For an INFJ, their shadow functions are embodied in an ESTP's dominant functions.

Some - but not all - of the behavior I've noticed includes blatant womanizing and a really annoying BMOC (big-man-on-campus) attitude. It's sort of like they are trying so hard... too hard... to not be the sweet, sensitive, quiet guys they were born to be.

I've often thought that INFJ men were dealt a tough hand. In fact, our culture teaches men to be as un-INFJ as possible doesn't it? That's gotta be a real mind f*ck to the heterosexual male INFJ mindset.

The same could be said for all NF males. But I think that INFJ and INFP males have a particularly tough time of it. But I've only noticed this "shadow embracing" pattern in INFJ males. (Admittedly my anecdotal evidence is based on a small sample set. There are so few INFJ males out there.)

This won't be the first thread on how one struggles with being an NF male. And it won't be the last. I guess I was hoping for advice on how to be a good friend to my INFJ male friends when they are feeling the weight of society's expectations on them. Up until this point, the only thing I can think of is to whack 'em on the back of the head in the way Gibbs does to DiNozzo on NCIS.

I know four infj men, my father, my professor, my senior and a guy friend. I haven't seen them tried to be estps though. They are fine with being sensitive, deep and insightful. They are also scary when angry. My father for instance is good at streetfighting and can be frightening when riled but he is always this caring and nice guy. Though they have the ability to attract female attentions if they want, they know their limits. They don't take advantage cause it will be against their deeply held principles. I guess it depends on how secure the person is with himself. I hope you'll meet many wonderful infj men. There are many of them out there. Its easy for me to spot a fellow infj cause I can recognize an Ni-Fe user easily. As for unhealthy infj males (I haven't meet a destructive infj man yet), help them if you can without sacrificing your peace of mind but leave them to mother nature if they are that damaging.

 

[cascadeco]

This is why: A classic Feeler Freakout

haha... sorry, this has nothing to do with being F or having an 'F' response. This is just emotions, and not liking rats creeping into your house. *Who would?* (I can guarantee my ISTJ mother would freak out just as much, lol) It indicates things are starting to become very unsanitary. fwiw, I think T's can be some of the most emotionally reactive people, not because they are 'F', but because I think they don't have as much of a handle on their emotions and don't know what to do with them as much, so when they do experience them, they can be very emotive or even explosive. One of the most emotionally expressive people I ever met was an ENTJ woman I knew many years ago. She could be incredibly intense.

There's no reason an ESTP wouldn't have really strong Fe. In fact I'm thinking in some ways it could show up more prominently than the Fe in an INFJ, just because since INFJ's are Ni-dom, they are *introverted*. The extroversion of ExTP's means the Fe can be quite evident, and even prominent. The Fe in an INFJ results in things like diplomacy, 'pleasantness', politeness, listening (directing towards the other person), accommodating (adjusting based on audience), and being viewed as such.

Would/do your close friends view you as INFJ (or if they know nothing of mbti, would they list out traits of yours that line up with the core traits of INFJ?)? Are those your core traits that are viewed by everyone else too? If others don't see that, why don't they, and why would they then be your core traits if they're not evident in how you live out your life? (please don't take this the wrong way..just asking the questions!)

 

[Giggly]

Umm.. what?

The Feelery women would be up in arms if some man ever made a thread chastising them for acting bitchy or slutty.

Anyways, what's so wrong with Feelers exploring their Thinking side every so often. If it's okay for Thinkers to explore their Feeling side from time to time, Feelers should be granted the same. The only time it's a problem is when a person is being deliberately deceitful to others so they can exploit them.

 

[Elfboy]

Wanna trade residences? So I can get off my fucking yearlong lease? $800/month for a private room.

where the fuck do you live where you're paying $800 a month for a rat infested room?

 

[Rail Tracer]

Umm.. what?

The Feelery women would be up in arms if some man ever made a thread chastising them for acting bitchy or slutty.

Anyways, what's so wrong with Feelers exploring their Thinking side every so often. If it's okay for Thinkers to explore their Feeling side from time to time, Feelers should be granted the same. The only time it's a problem is when a person is being deliberately deceitful to others so they can exploit them.

It's ok, it might just mean that these people are a bit jealous of the dude acting like a BMOC or getting all the ladies.

 

[Giggly]

It's ok, it might just mean that these people are a bit jealous of the dude acting like a BMOC or getting all the ladies.

I think both men and women are inclined to do things that they *think* pleases the object of their affection.

 

[Rail Tracer]

I think both men and women are inclined to do things that they *think* pleases the object of their affection.

Yes, this definitely hits the bulls-eye.

It is kind of like the scenario [MENTION=6164]Riva[/MENTION] mentioned.

 

[Giggly]

Yes, this definitely hits the bulls-eye.

It is kind of like the scenario [MENTION=6164]Riva[/MENTION] mentioned.

Bless that guys heart.

The thing I'm learning is that people (that's men and women!) don't really know what they want. As soon as a guy is macho, women will yell "You're too insensitive!", then with another guy who is sensitive, women will yell "You're too sensitive!". Men do the same thing to women too. They don't know whether they want a nice girl or a bad girl (yes it's true) *sigh* I think people just get bored with anything.

 

[Rail Tracer]

Bless that guys heart.

The thing I'm learning is that people (that's men and women!) don't really know what they want. As soon as a guy is macho, women will yell "You're too insensitive!", then with another guy who is sensitive, women will yell "You're too sensitive!". Men do the same thing to women too. They don't know whether they want a nice girl or a bad girl (yes it's true) *sigh* I think people just get bored with anything.

What I've learned a long time ago, is that people have faces. Not all people act the way they want to because they want to. Some act the way they do because of "necessity" - whether it is true or not. This is easily testified by bringing MBTI and Enneagram into the picture.

Whenever I keep hearing people say someone is acting fake, I can't help but want to lecture them about it. What part of the person is acting fake? Just because that person isn't angry or tough sounding does not make that person "fake." Just because that person doesn't act like their so called "true" selves doesn't mean that person is acting fake. Quite frankly, I am not as one-dimensional as that.

It is kind of like, if the person does not act like you or what you want them to act, they are fake.

 

[Doctor Cringelord]

bump.

I have an INFJ friend who is into surfing, skateboarding, hiking...he also carries a very laid-back, anything goes vibe that I associate with many SPs, but it's very much a front that is only painfully obvious to his closest intimates.

 

[meowington]

When I went to University, I basically crawled into a hole and wept. Eat that BMOC!

 

[Sapphire Sage]

"Dear INFJ Gentlemen, you are NOT ESTPs... So quit acting like it!"

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Let me be the first to point out that the above statement does not apply to all INFJ gentlemen. And the ones it does apply to, it doesn't apply all the time. Nonetheless, I feel like it has to be said.

I've seen several INFJ gentlemen in my acquaintance act like the most obnoxious... well like really obnoxious ESTPs. (No offense to ESTPs. I'm not talking about a normal, mentally-healthy ESTP.) I'm talking about people acting out their shadow functions. According to Jung, everyone has a shadow aspect to their personality that consists of repressed weaknesses, shortcomings, and instincts. For an INFJ, their shadow functions are embodied in an ESTP's dominant functions.

Some - but not all - of the behavior I've noticed includes blatant womanizing and a really annoying BMOC (big-man-on-campus) attitude. It's sort of like they are trying so hard... too hard... to not be the sweet, sensitive, quiet guys they were born to be.

I've often thought that INFJ men were dealt a tough hand. In fact, our culture teaches men to be as un-INFJ as possible doesn't it? That's gotta be a real mind f*ck to the heterosexual male INFJ mindset.

The same could be said for all NF males. But I think that INFJ and INFP males have a particularly tough time of it. But I've only noticed this "shadow embracing" pattern in INFJ males. (Admittedly my anecdotal evidence is based on a small sample set. There are so few INFJ males out there.)

This won't be the first thread on how one struggles with being an NF male. And it won't be the last. I guess I was hoping for advice on how to be a good friend to my INFJ male friends when they are feeling the weight of society's expectations on them. Up until this point, the only thing I can think of is to whack 'em on the back of the head in the way Gibbs does to DiNozzo on NCIS.

When I was less mature and didn't know much about cognitive functions, I assumed that everybody thought the same way.
Since I thought that everybody thinks like me, they too are attracted to ESTPs in general.

So, I used to act like an ESTP to attract the girls I liked, but it obviously didn't work.
I'm still not very developed though and had no idea other people could see through our fake personas as well. Haha.
This thread has been quite helpful.

 

[Jaguar]

Dear INFJ gents, do whatever the hell you want.

 

[SearchingforPeace]

When I was in high school, I had a very troubled and angry older brother who made our home a complete hell, resulting finally with my parents getting divorced. My coping mechanism was to repress all my feelings, well, as well as I could. I even tested out as a ISTP at 18.

I clearly remember times I acted as a ESTP BMOC, like playing a role.

One time a friend was very interested in a ESFP girl and I came in, stole her away in seconds, and was into some very heavy petting within minutes.

I remember a few similar occasions.

Of course, I felt horrible after usually. And these were never girls I really wanted to date. I struggled to even talk with most of them.

The whole process ended up with me taking a break from dating to figure out what I wanted.

 

[Lunar Light]

Dear INFJ gents, do whatever the hell you want.

^ QFT

The title of this thread is pretty inflammatory IMO and despite OP's efforts not to be typist, I feel like the post is inherently typist x_x. Seriously do whatever the fuck y'all want. If being "ESTP"-like (lol the stereotypes associated with this) is you, BE THAT.