[INFJ] Dear INFJ Gentlemen, you are NOT ESTPs... So quit acting like it!

[entropie]

However, in other INFJs, they desire what they lack & try to cultivate some Se-esque qualities. However, it is not natural for them to use Se, it conflicts with Ni too much, and so they turn to Fe to cultivate these Se-esque qualities. This is mostly good. Fe provides balance, but Se does not; wielding the inferior too long can be bad.

An example: My INFJ is into cooking as a hobby. He tends to focus on getting the "best" ingredients, using the "right" method & tools, and perfecting the same recipe through repetition. It's so value-oriented it's hilarious, and these values are very externally sourced. Se-dom, IMO, tend to explore such things in the moment, spontaneously, with little concern for the "right" way as long as the end result is good. Not to say my INFJ doesn't enjoy the process, he does, but he's way more methodical about it than any SP I know. Frankly, I also think he likes the idea of these things more than anything...

Could be a lack of my english comprehension abilities but you said you wanted to give an example, how INFJs try to cultivate Se but then said in the example that he does not behave like a Se-dom ? What did I miss ?

I am exactly like that when cooking, my gf refuses already to eat my stuff if I would complain about a minor detail again. I think its a Fe thing

 

[EJCC]

I'm with you on that iwaker! EJCC says they swarm around her though and Protean knows several, so maybe they hang around in clumps. I'm not sure if I've met another one in person or not.

I think I must have a sign on my head that says "Do people vent at you constantly? Feel free to vent at me about those crazy people whenever you like! " And that sign draws INFJs like moths to a flame.

It helps that I hang out with a lot of artsy people; I tend to be drawn to artists and musicians because I'm very interested in those things (despite not having as much natural talent for them).

EDIT: I may know a ton of INFJs, but I have never in my life encountered one that acted like an ESTP. My INFJ guy friend is one of the mildest and least adventurous people I know. If he were another type, he'd be ISFJ, not ESTP.

 

[OrangeAppled]

Could be a lack of my english comprehension abilities but you said you wanted to give an example, how INFJs try to cultivate Se but then said in the example that he does not behave like a Se-dom ? What did I miss ?

I am exactly like that when cooking, my gf refuses already to eat my stuff if I would complain about a minor detail again. I think its a Fe thing

Trying doesn't equal succeeding

 

[entropie]

ah, female logic, yikes

 

[redacted]

I'm pretty sure I know one other INFJ male, and neither of us act like ESTPs whatsoever. Mayyyyybe when I'm really drunk, but even then its pretty rare.

My strategy for girls has much more to do with being genuine and talking about something "deep" or whatever than acting boisterous and loud. Might as well play to my strengths.

 

[entropie]

My strategy for girls has much more to do with being genuine and talking about something "deep" or whatever than acting boisterous and loud.

Can I use that in my signature ? Thats epic

 

[redacted]

have at it

 

[entropie]

[YOUTUBE="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YbNn0lidIf0"].[/YOUTUBE]

 

[Rail Tracer]

The likelihood of me acting like a true ESTP is rare indeed. I don't even think I tried to truly act like an ESTP. Probably the only thing you'll seem to think I am an SP is when I tinker with hobbies(computers, building action figures, some bits of things i consider "hard labor", learning to cook a type of food I like) but I am not sure whether I can sustain those types of actives for long before I go haywire. Though I can probably do them longer than other people can. Heck, I like riding extreme roller-coasters (or would like to ride some when i get the chance) where some wouldn't even touch.

When you're a female NFP, male NFJs come out of the woodwork. I don't know that many in relation to say, ISFJs, but I know more than one or two. It's likely we get often close enough to type them, but not necessarily close to some other types to be able to type them (ie. I have few, but certainly some notable, ESTJs in my life because I don't tend to get close to them).

What is funny is that INTPs seems to be one of the easiest people to come in contact with me. I don't know why, when I took this test, I was in a room filled with INTPs... and one INTJ. That one INTJ told me,

"Hey, you are even more of a rarity around here, why are you here?"

Damn, how do you know so many? I know what to look for and I cant spot other INFJs in the wild to save my life.

I can't either.

EDIT: If there is a magic formula to finding them, let me know. It'll be cool to find others like me.

 

[iwakar]

The likelihood of me acting like a true ESTP is rare indeed. I don't even think I tried to truly act like an ESTP. Probably the only thing you'll seem to think I am an SP is when I tinker with hobbies(computers, building action figures, some bits of things i consider "hard labor", learning to cook a type of food I like) but I am not sure whether I can sustain those types of actives for long before I go haywire. Though I can probably do them longer than other people can. Heck, I like riding extreme roller-coasters (or would like to ride some when i get the chance) where some wouldn't even touch.



What is funny is that INTPs seems to be one of the easiest people to come in contact with me. I don't know why, when I took this test, I was in a room filled with INTPs... and one INTJ. That one INTJ told me,

"Hey, you are even more of a rarity around here, why are you here?"



I can't either.

EDIT: If there is a magic formula to finding them, let me know. It'll be cool to find others like me.

OMFG, I am a scary coaster junkie, but no one will go with me cause I wear them out. Do you live near me? Lez go right nau!!!! /Se-indulgence of choice

 

[OrangeAppled]

The likelihood of me acting like a true ESTP is rare indeed. I don't even think I tried to truly act like an ESTP. Probably the only thing you'll seem to think I am an SP is when I tinker with hobbies(computers, building action figures, some bits of things i consider "hard labor", learning to cook a type of food I like) but I am not sure whether I can sustain those types of actives for long before I go haywire. Though I can probably do them longer than other people can. Heck, I like riding extreme roller-coasters (or would like to ride some when i get the chance) where some wouldn't even touch.

Yes, this sounds like my INFJ. You'd never mistake him for an ESTP, but his hobbies come off as "wannabe SP".
We went to Magic Mountain & he was sooo excited by every roller coaster, especially as each was more extreme than the next. After about two, they all felt the same to me and I was bored... He had this touch of "SP going after physical experiences" attitude, but his over all demeanor was still INFJ. This is very much a stress relief for him also. I do "S stuff" for stress relief also, but for me it's familiar comforts, old favorites, relaxing experiences (very Si I suppose).

What is funny is that INTPs seems to be one of the easiest people to come in contact with me. I don't know why, when I took this test, I was in a room filled with INTPs... and one INTJ. That one INTJ told me,

I encounter an inordinate amount of them also. I'm tired of dating them though. I've moved onto INFJs, I guess. I just can't do another INFP though; it feels incestuous.

 

[Epiphany]

I've seen an INFP on this site talk like that, I won't mention his name, but I want to push him down the stairs.

When men pretend to be what they *think* an ESTP is (not what an ESTP necessarily really is) they usually just come across as loser douchebags.

I usually am not sexually attracted to NF men anyway, but I'm not claiming that *only* NF men engage in this behavior. I guess any insecure introvert could, including an INTJ or INTP.

ISFJs, on the other hand, might be more inclined to mimic xSTJs, in my experience.

I'm sure this anonymous person regards your opinion with high esteem. There's a female member in this forum who doesn't have a clue what her personality type is and contradicts herself constantly in debates, usually resorting to personal attacks instead of admitting when she's wrong. I think she takes her clothes off for random strangers online. I wish she would critique people more about respectable behavior. She's so classy!

 

[Sniffles]

He had this touch of "SP going after physical experiences" attitude, but his over all demeanor was still INFJ. This is very much a stress relief for him also.

This is true for me as well. I had such an "SP experience" last year when I was feeling in the pits but afterwards my mood was greatly elevated. However, I find that too much of such experiences have negative effects as well.

 

[Thalassa]

I'm sure this anonymous person regards your opinion with high esteem. There's a female member in this forum who doesn't have a clue what her personality type is and contradicts herself constantly in debates, usually resorting to personal attacks instead of admitting when she's wrong. I think she takes her clothes off for random strangers online. I wish she would critique people more about respectable behavior. She's so classy!

Actually he used to talk to me a lot and get on my nerves for various reasons.

It's not you. But your opinion of me really matters a whole lot. Thanks for acting out for no reason.

I'm not sure how talking about what turns me off sexually as a woman concerns "class" or you.

Have a day.

 

[KDude]

I think I'm pretty split between NF/SP sides myself. If it's NFJ, so be it. I have a hard time believing more and more that I'm not INFP, for the simple fact that I've taken some of this unhealthy stuff discussed here into extreme areas. Things that don't seem to be an NFP's forte. I used to run with street gangs, for one. I have more friends who were violently killed than it seems to be normal.. especially for my age (not that that's cool.. just saying what kind of world I've dabbled with). You live, you learn. Fortunately for me, I was always learning even back then.. I was more cautious than them. I never quite jumped headlong into everything.. I just hung around it.

 

[Thalassa]

You've always seemed more ISxP to me, but I could be wrong.

 

[Billy]

The 1st mistake you made is to beleive that INFJs are actually gentleman. In the realm of Ni and Ti there is a lot of cold calculate precision, Fe doesnt always come across as caring and warmth, sometimes it comes across as pushy and aggressive and in control. Add Se to the mix and its pretty easy to see how this can come about.

I find myself going in and out of ESTP periods, INFJ when I want to build, ESTP when I want to destroy. INFJ when I feel somewhat comfortable and I feel as though I have things to lose and I play cautious, ESTP when I feel left out and I have nothing to lose and I need to win and conquer in order to feel safe again. I figure most INFJ males bounce back and forth between these modes as they are both a part of the same mind.

I tend to act more assholeish and ESTPish and malewhoreish when I am single, I hurt more people, I take more risks and I feel more invulnerable. When I am with someone I care about I feel as though I have to reign in all my excess so I can keep things flowing, and harmonized. 2 sides of the same coin IMO.

 

[Sniffles]

The 1st mistake you made is to beleive that INFJs are actually gentleman.

I must be the exception to that rule.

 

[KDude]

You've always seemed more ISxP to me, but I could be wrong.

There seems to be some consensus on that one... at multiple sites. Heh

Maybe I am. Or maybe an INFJ doing a decent job at faking it. :marionette:

That's a poor excuse to use that emoticon, but it's probably useless otherwise.

 

[Billy]

INFJs acting like ESTPs? INFJs often act like almost all MBTI types simply as reflections to their surroundings. INFJ minds often like to work in a 'collage' or 'discoball' form in which they tend to adhere to their surroundings to acquire continuous harmony and sometimes the highest possible position within the situation. ESTPs are only the most apparent because they often stand out the highest most in the social realm and INFJs would of course, know this. This is not to say they don't have their limitations that pull them back but perhaps best for another conversation.
Judging by results received with their own descriptions of how their mind works, it mostly tends to be different versions of the same thing. INFPs would not often do this as they strive far more upon 'individuality' than reflective adherence.

I think INFJs also seek out ESTP type behaviors because they secretly admire the freedom it affords, some of the "coolest" people IMO appear to be ESTP types with nothing to lose and who go out with no plans, no agendas, just sheer force of will and dominate as they see fit, Tyler Durden-esque... to an INFJ who feels weak and out of control that type of power is very seductive. Especially for a dude who is a constant overthinker, worried about the future, how he will affect those around him, who wants and wants and wants but holds back in order to be sure until its too late, ESTPs go out and TAKE... INFJ males kind of envy that in a way.