"How dreadful!" cried Lord Henry. "I can stand brute force, but brute reason is quite unbearable. There is something unfair about its use. It is hitting below the intellect." ~ Oscar Wilde - The picture of Dorian Gray
I think INFJs also seek out ESTP type behaviors because they secretly admire the freedom it affords, some of the "coolest" people IMO appear to be ESTP types with nothing to lose and who go out with no plans, no agendas, just sheer force of will and dominate as they see fit, Tyler Durden-esque... to an INFJ who feels weak and out of control that type of power is very seductive. Especially for a dude who is a constant overthinker, worried about the future, how he will affect those around him, who wants and wants and wants but holds back in order to be sure until its too late, ESTPs go out and TAKE... INFJ males kind of envy that in a way.
Oh definitely. This put things back to the INFJs achieving the highest position within the social and adventurous areas which would at many times, point to the ESTP persona. They tend to be able to pull things off for their while but it would certainly get tiresome for them eventually making for themselves a retreat back into the initial state.
Yeah, I see this..... I don't see them acting like ESTPs so much as wannabe SPs. They want to be seen as in-the-know, able to mentally/emotionally handle intense/difficult physical feats off the cuff, cultivating hobbies which are very "tangible". Whereas that seems natural in SPs, it seems contrived in them. I think this is especially common with INFJs males because of the pull of Fe to meet cultural standards & the male ideal. I see it waaaay less with female INFJs.
My INFJ definitely has a wannabe SP side. I've seen many SPs with a wannabe NJ side too. They tout their spirituality & try & seem deep, but it's cheesy. I think they probably make good suckers for NJ con-men.
It's funny, because I DON'T see this with NPs & SJs so much. It seems that they are repelled by their inferior functions, but SPs & NJs are fascinated with theirs (and each other). Of course that is a generalization & does not hold true for all.
Do you think it's always that they have a 'wannabe' SP side? I think in some cases, yes, it can be easy to be temporarily lulled into more of an STP mentality, and in darker/more lonely times, wishing we fit in better and more easily, as a reprieve from NiFe, and as more of a safety/survival/fitting in mode, but I think too it can go beyond it just being 'wannabe'. I think it's actually an element of being INFJ: this IS one side of the personality, and personally I don't think it's always bad.
I think it can be very beneficial in working through certain situations - sort of like a suit that you put on to accomplish a specific task and then you put the suit away. In some cases, I would say it's a tool/method that is very consciously used, say in a job interview or to get a certain result. So yes, perhaps it can be viewed as contrived, but I would argue the INFJ isn't trying to be someone else - they're in fact using those skills quite consciously to accomplish some aim, or to better survive a certain situation, not that they're trying to 'be' this other person. And I know for myself, I've never viewed Se as some 'evil' shadow thing. Sure it can have its negative manifestations, but I think it adds a totally positive and even *necessary* component to our cognition and ability to move effectively through the world and also hone our perceptions (Ni) in a more fruitful way. It's not like I'm (or other INFJ's are?) ever under the delusion that I am sp or look like I'm sp - it's just an element that I might realize needs to be utilized to better navigate a situation - better presence in the moment. But absolutely my core remains pretty non-sp, and it's not like I would every *really* actualize things like an actual SP would.
As for hobbies, I definitely have a lot of Se-type hobbies. I'm not deliberately 'cultivating' them though out of some need/wish to be someone I am not, though. I have these hobbies because I truly love them and they are a key element of who I am. They're merely a part of myself - but not a wannabe part, they ARE me. A part. Do I think/try to 'be stp' while I'm doing them? No, I am who I am. But they're just as much a part of me as NiFe, and I know I don't come across as sp when I'm doing them. But that's not the point. I'm doing them because I gain a lot of satisfaction out of doing them, and these activities,and experience/newness itself, and the ability to try to savor the moment, is important to keeping myself balanced and whole. Otherwise I'd fall into an endless NiTi pit.
"...On and on and on and on he strode, far out over the sands, singing wildly to the sea, crying to greet the advent of the life that had cried to him." - James Joyce