I told him that he stood up for what he believed in, but I don't think I emphasized it enough. I spent 75% of the time listening, telling him it was going to work out in the long run, you are very important to your kids/family, they need you, you need to do some therapeutic activities, etc. 20% of "OK, I can help you with a plan of action. Here's what we can do. A, B, C, or D? Do any of those sound good? Let's make it happen!" 5% of "you just stood up for what you believed in. There's nothing wrong with that."Have you communicated that you respect what he did? Support and approval (for the principle of what he did, if not the result) from his closest friends and especially family could really help.
He's definitely an "I", definitely an "N", definitely an "F", and definitely a "J". Definitely Fe. No real signs of Ne or Te.As for the Fe/Fi debate, he sounds Fe... if he was Fi dominant, chances are he would not be beating himself up over standing up for his values. He's probably now feeling the bite of taking an Fi sort of action, and Fi feels pretty bad for IxFJs (ie, "I am a selfish jerk! How dare I only think about myself!").