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  1. #1
    Certified Sausage Smoker Elfboy's Avatar
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    Default ENFPs, do you need a lot of alone time?

    I know I do. I'm a friggin recluse. while I'm the furthest thing from shy or soft spoken, when I get home, my first thought is
    "finally! okay...
    - music
    - tea
    - thoughts
    now, time to relax for 3-6 hours"
    all throughout high school, I never desired being tied down by outside obligations if I could afford it. the idea of doing school, homework, hanging out with friends AND being involved in several school activities was like "my God, how can you breath?"
    most of my time was spent in my room just thinking about what I wanted, what I should believe, human nature, and the general governing principles of the world. I had a few close friends, but aside from that, I never hung out with anyone or went to parties or sporting events. despite this, I was never lonely, but I would get irritable if anyone disturbed me.

    while this is very unusual behavior for an extrovert, ENFPs are by far the most introverted extrovert. So, is typical of ENFPs are is it mostly a Self Preservation/Sexual instinctual subtype thing?
    ENFP: We put the Fi in Fire
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  2. #2
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elfboy View Post
    I know I do. I'm a friggin recluse. while I'm the furthest thing from shy or soft spoken, when I get home, my first thought is
    "finally! okay...
    - music
    - tea
    - thoughts
    now, time to relax for 3-6 hours"
    all throughout high school, I never desired being tied down by outside obligations if I could afford it. the idea of doing school, homework, hanging out with friends AND being involved in several school activities was like "my God, how can you breath?"
    most of my time was spent in my room just thinking about what I wanted, what I should believe, human nature, and the general governing principles of the world. I had a few close friends, but aside from that, I never hung out with anyone or went to parties or sporting events. despite this, I was never lonely, but I would get irritable if anyone disturbed me.

    while this is very unusual behavior for an extrovert, ENFPs are by far the most introverted extrovert. So, is typical of ENFPs are is it mostly a Self Preservation/Sexual instinctual subtype thing?
    My mom was an ENFP SO/SX and while she loved being around people... she was also extremely comfortable being alone for large swaths of time. I have a couple ENFP friends that I have noticed this same trend with as well. I also have seen it in a bunch of ENTP friends and family. ENPs are the easiest extraverts for me to be around because they aren't as draining... unless they are in super Ne-storm mode for a long period of time.

    So I think what you describe sounds pretty normal for an ENFP!

  3. #3
    Certified Sausage Smoker Elfboy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Saturned View Post
    My mom was an ENFP SO/SX and while she loved being around people... she was also extremely comfortable being alone for large swaths of time. I have a couple ENFP friends that I have noticed this same trend with as well. I also have seen it in a bunch of ENTP friends and family. ENPs are the easiest extraverts for me to be around because they aren't as draining... unless they are in super Ne-storm mode for a long period of time.

    So I think what you describe sounds pretty normal for an ENFP!
    interesting you find ENFPs easy to cope with (although given you're INFP it makes sense) we have Ne storms, Fi storms AND Te storms that come out periodically. at least we don't have Si storms or Fe storms, those are the worst to deal with (Ne and Te storms can be reasoned with, Si and Fe storms cannot)
    ENFP: We put the Fi in Fire
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    Motivation: Dark Worker
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    Sunburst!
    "You are a gay version of Gambit" Speed Gavroche
    "I wish that I could be affected by any hate, but I can't, cuz I just get affected by the bank" Chamillionaire

  4. #4
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    The topic of extroverts needing much time alone is pretty confusing to me, esp if they become drained by others. Yes, I know that some extroverts (it's not just ENFPs either) need a lot of time alone but that is also the mark of an introvert. And many introverts say they are not shy and I believe them. Distinguishing Introvert/extrovert gets confusing except in the case of outliers.

    The only possible reasoning I've come up with is that extroverts who need a lot of time alone maybe don't like people that much and withdraw (?)
    It's also difficult to tell the difference between an introvert who doesn't like people and an introvert who is truly more energized by being alone.

  5. #5
    libtard SJW chickpea's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Saturned View Post
    My mom was an ENFP SO/SX and while she loved being around people... she was also extremely comfortable being alone for large swaths of time. I have a couple ENFP friends that I have noticed this same trend with as well. I also have seen it in a bunch of ENTP friends and family. ENPs are the easiest extraverts for me to be around because they aren't as draining... unless they are in super Ne-storm mode for a long period of time.

    So I think what you describe sounds pretty normal for an ENFP!

    my mom's the same exact type as yours and the same way. she liked being around friends and entertaining a lot , but she spends most of her free time alone reading books and not wanting to be bothered.

  6. #6
    Certified Sausage Smoker Elfboy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggly View Post
    The topic of extroverts needing much time alone is pretty confusing to me, esp if they become drained by others. Yes, I know that some extroverts (it's not just ENFPs either) need a lot of time alone but that is also the mark of an introvert. And many introverts say they are not shy and I believe them. Distinguishing Introvert/extrovert gets confusing except in the case of outliers.

    The only possible reasoning I've come up with is that extroverts who need a lot of time alone maybe don't like people that much (?)
    It's also difficult to tell the difference between an introvert who doesn't like people and an introvert who is more energized by being alone.
    SO true in fact, I said part of that almost verbatim in Uwace's type me thread just a few hours ago. I wonder just how many types of introversion there are
    ENFP: We put the Fi in Fire
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    5w4>1w9>2w1 Sx/Sp
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    Motivation: Dark Worker
    Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
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    Male Archtype: King/Lover
    Sunburst!
    "You are a gay version of Gambit" Speed Gavroche
    "I wish that I could be affected by any hate, but I can't, cuz I just get affected by the bank" Chamillionaire

  7. #7
    ~*taaa raaa raaa boom*~ targobelle's Avatar
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    As an enfp I find that because I give so much of myself when I am out, it's a go go go situation, that I need time to unwind and it's not that I am tired it's that dealing with emotions all the time can be overwhelming, and it leaves me feeling drained.

    I find that I can walk into a room and automatically feel the tension that others may have, and it affects me, so coming home to silence gives me time to process and unwind. I love people love being out and happy and bubbly, but it's exhausting lol
    ~t ...in need of hugs please...
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    Extroverted (E) 63.16% Intuitive (N) 60.53% Feeling (F) 84.38% Perceiving (P) 87.1% ~Your type is: ENFP

  8. #8
    Lay the coin on my tongue SilkRoad's Avatar
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    My friend who I thought was an INFJ (one of the tests told her so) is a likely ENFP, I think. She could be an INFP but... I'm pretty sure that she is not INFJ as (among other things) she is super-intense emotionally in the moment, but also moves on from things more quickly than me. She's also a billion times more impetuous. She's a textbook enneagram 4 and I'd say sx/sp.

    Anyway, she spends a lot of time alone and always talks about how she's a hermit and I'm more social than she is. (A lot of people seem to make the mistake of thinking I'm some kind of major socialite). But...unlike me, I know that she hardly ever sits alone reading a book and that sort of thing. When she's at home alone - and I know this because I've come over many times - she's almost always on Skype with someone, chatting, phoning, writing an email, etc etc. She's much more likely than I would ever be to, in a middle of a convo, say "oh man, that reminds me of my friend in NY! Let's phone her right now!" Although she does sometimes get pissed and cut people out of her life, she often lets them back in quite soon - she's even kept a lot of people around who I just wouldn't see the point of having around for my emotional energy levels or frankly my dignity, like exes who really screwed her around but then after a while she was friends with them again. If she travels somewhere or lives somewhere else for a while she'll make a bunch of friends, whereas unless I was living somewhere for at least several months I probably wouldn't make more than a few casual acquaintances, or maybe one good friend. It takes me much longer to feel close to people, usually. Etc. So in my opinion, she's only seriously hermit-like when she's depressed, because she does have tendencies to depression. ANd I think even in those times of serious withdrawal there's been one or two people she continues talking to. I literally can have days where I don't talk to anyone, though admittedly I spend more time on the internet than I used to. I can be happy with no interaction at all though, at least for a while. I don't think she would be for very long.

    I tend to think that's she's an ENFP who due to being sensitive has withdrawn from a lot of people and doesn't trust a lot of people. Her health also isn't the best so she's often sick or needing to regain energy. But I think there are a lot of indications that she's an extrovert, though she could maybe be INFP. It's just that while she does spend a lot of time alone, it's not 100% alone, if you know what I mean.
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  9. #9
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    My only guess (Note: Guess) is that since ENFPs expend their energy with Fi could only be possibly the reason why sometimes they need time alone.

    And it's not often that ENFPs express their feelings so openly to everyone - even if it might seem to be that way on a surface level of things.

  10. #10
    Senior Member Malkavia's Avatar
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    I love having time alone. I lived with people till I graduated college this May. Since then I have lived alone and it has been one of the best experiences of my life.

    The more time alone I get, the more I want.

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