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  1. #11
    nevermore lane777's Avatar
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    You're normal. According to APS you would be a Choleric in Affection. Cholerics in Affection appear to want deep personal relationships, but in reality do not. When approached for love and affection they will most likely turn their back, and when approached for a deep personal relationship they will walk away from it. The explanation for this is very simple; they must be shown love and affection according to their terms. They will not accept a deep personal relationship if their terms are not met. - Excerpt from The Missing Link by Richard & Phyllis Arno.

    Quote Originally Posted by Marmie Dearest View Post
    I hate that too. Unless it's very light and sensual, I consider it a form of torture.
    Ha, agreed.
    To die would be an awfully big adventure - Peter Pan

    INFJ ~ 4w5 sp/sx ~ RLOAI ~ Inclusion e/w=1/0 (Melancholy Compulsive) Control: e/w=0/6 (Supine) Affection: e/w=4/0 (Phlegmatic Melancholy)

  2. #12
    Certified Sausage Smoker Elfboy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Huxley3112 View Post
    I realized that I have a bit of an issue with being touched. To clarify, I seem to like to touch and be warm with people fairly often, but only on my own terms. I realize that it's kinda unfair and fucked up.. but I can't seem to control my cringey emotions when someone invades my personal space. The thing is, I grew up with very lovey, touchy-feely family members. It's bothered me from as far back as I can remember. My grandpa used to put his hand on my shoulder or neck and give me a pat or rub.. it was bugging me out pre kindergarten. My family also did alot of force hug/emotional displays.. and the more they did it/do it.. the more violated I feel. It has something to do with me feeling like I am being both physically and emotionally hi-jacked through a social norm, or someones elses good intent, but I can't do anything about it or reject it.. because only a cruel bastard would do such a thing.. and I'm left to endure. It's really weird. Part of me thinks.. this isn't normal.. a normal, healthy person shouldn't be rejecting affection demonstrations from people they care about.. but another part of me says.. BS.. normal healthy people would not force physical interaction on someone without picking up on various ques that its okay. Maybe they should be a little more sensitive with boundaries.


    Thoughts? Similarities?
    it could be several things related to typology
    1) Introversion
    2) Self Preservation Instinct
    3) Fi
    4) Thinking preference
    5) phobic enneatype 6
    ENFP: We put the Fi in Fire
    ENFP
    5w4>1w9>2w1 Sx/Sp
    SEE-Fi
    Papa Bear
    Motivation: Dark Worker
    Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
    Chibi Seme
    MTG Color: black/red
    Male Archtype: King/Lover
    Sunburst!
    "You are a gay version of Gambit" Speed Gavroche
    "I wish that I could be affected by any hate, but I can't, cuz I just get affected by the bank" Chamillionaire

  3. #13
    Certified Sausage Smoker Elfboy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Huxley3112 View Post
    I realized that I have a bit of an issue with being touched. To clarify, I seem to like to touch and be warm with people fairly often, but only on my own terms. I realize that it's kinda unfair and fucked up.. but I can't seem to control my cringey emotions when someone invades my personal space. The thing is, I grew up with very lovey, touchy-feely family members. It's bothered me from as far back as I can remember. My grandpa used to put his hand on my shoulder or neck and give me a pat or rub.. it was bugging me out pre kindergarten. My family also did alot of force hug/emotional displays.. and the more they did it/do it.. the more violated I feel. It has something to do with me feeling like I am being both physically and emotionally hi-jacked through a social norm, or someones elses good intent, but I can't do anything about it or reject it.. because only a cruel bastard would do such a thing.. and I'm left to endure. It's really weird. Part of me thinks.. this isn't normal.. a normal, healthy person shouldn't be rejecting affection demonstrations from people they care about.. but another part of me says.. BS.. normal healthy people would not force physical interaction on someone without picking up on various ques that its okay. Maybe they should be a little more sensitive with boundaries.


    Thoughts? Similarities?
    typology aside (as mentioned in my last post), there are several possible, perfectly rational reasons why you would feel this way
    1) you need your personal space
    2) you feel disrespected because people don't respect your personal boundaries
    3) it makes you feel physically uncomfortable
    4) it's not a person you have an intimate connection with, even if you still love them (for instance, an aunt you see once a year. you love her, but she isn't exactly close to you in terms of bonding/getting to know each other)
    5) there is a social expectation for your to reciprocate. if you are like me, social expectations can kinda piss you off (I think it's an Fi thing)
    6) perhaps they have poor hygiene and you think "gross"
    7) perhaps, irrationally, you are creeped out by them even though rationally you know they're a good person (like, if someone somehow resembles your impression of a pedophile or rapist, even though you know them well enough to know they're not. my neighbor is like this. he's a great father and a good, responsible guy, but people often find him creepy)
    8) they show affection in socially awkward ways
    9) they show too much emotion and go all manic EFJ on yo ass. this can make NFPs and NTJs think "what the fuck is this?!"
    ENFP: We put the Fi in Fire
    ENFP
    5w4>1w9>2w1 Sx/Sp
    SEE-Fi
    Papa Bear
    Motivation: Dark Worker
    Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
    Chibi Seme
    MTG Color: black/red
    Male Archtype: King/Lover
    Sunburst!
    "You are a gay version of Gambit" Speed Gavroche
    "I wish that I could be affected by any hate, but I can't, cuz I just get affected by the bank" Chamillionaire

  4. #14
    #KUWK Kierva's Avatar
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    Nobody touches me UNLESS I like you.

    If you touch me you're pretty darn special.
    C#2-C#5-F#5
    3 octaves, 2 notes and 1 semitone
    Supported range: F#2-F#4-C#5

  5. #15
    Member nomoreshallwepart's Avatar
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    I know what you mean, I hate being touched when I don't want to be, I think it is a need to control emotional things and also to know that the initiator of intimacy is tuned in to you, sensors don't quite get it right and this bothers us because we expect them to be as intuitive as we are (which is unfair).

  6. #16
    Certified Sausage Smoker Elfboy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nomoreshallwepart View Post
    I know what you mean, I hate being touched when I don't want to be, I think it is a need to control emotional things and also to know that the initiator of intimacy is tuned in to you, sensors don't quite get it right and this bothers us because we expect them to be as intuitive as we are (which is unfair).
    it's not quite that simple (as I'm sure you're already aware). an ISFP for instance would probably be extremely tuned into it. I think it's more EFJs and ESPs that are the most tuned out to others on a deep level if I had to give a general correlation with type (ETJs tend to give a little more space and less emotional puking; introverts and ENPs are more tuned into people's needs for individual space)
    ENFP: We put the Fi in Fire
    ENFP
    5w4>1w9>2w1 Sx/Sp
    SEE-Fi
    Papa Bear
    Motivation: Dark Worker
    Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
    Chibi Seme
    MTG Color: black/red
    Male Archtype: King/Lover
    Sunburst!
    "You are a gay version of Gambit" Speed Gavroche
    "I wish that I could be affected by any hate, but I can't, cuz I just get affected by the bank" Chamillionaire

  7. #17
    Member nomoreshallwepart's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elfboy View Post
    it's not quite that simple (as I'm sure you're already aware). an ISFP for instance would probably be extremely tuned into it. I think it's more EFJs and ESPs that are the most tuned out to others on a deep level if I had to give a general correlation with type (ETJs tend to give a little more space and less emotional puking; introverts and ENPs are more tuned into people's needs for individual space)
    I'm just going on my experience with them, ISFJs try hard but seem to fall short a bit; ESFPs find it extremely hard, ISTPs don't even want to. We may be talking about slightly different things here though.

  8. #18
    Certified Sausage Smoker Elfboy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nomoreshallwepart View Post
    I'm just going on my experience with them, ISFJs try hard but seem to fall short a bit; ESFPs find it extremely hard, ISTPs don't even want to. We may be talking about slightly different things here though.
    I was talking specifically about pushing personal boundaries, which I believe is more a problem of ESPs and EFJs. what were you talking about?
    ENFP: We put the Fi in Fire
    ENFP
    5w4>1w9>2w1 Sx/Sp
    SEE-Fi
    Papa Bear
    Motivation: Dark Worker
    Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
    Chibi Seme
    MTG Color: black/red
    Male Archtype: King/Lover
    Sunburst!
    "You are a gay version of Gambit" Speed Gavroche
    "I wish that I could be affected by any hate, but I can't, cuz I just get affected by the bank" Chamillionaire

  9. #19
    Member nomoreshallwepart's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elfboy View Post
    I was talking specifically about pushing personal boundaries, which I believe is more a problem of ESPs and EFJs. what were you talking about?
    I was talking more about an individual's ability to know when it is a good idea to forgo certain boundaries.

  10. #20
    Secret Sex Freak Hazashin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Huxley3112 View Post
    I realized that I have a bit of an issue with being touched. To clarify, I seem to like to touch and be warm with people fairly often, but only on my own terms. I realize that it's kinda unfair and fucked up.. but I can't seem to control my cringey emotions when someone invades my personal space. The thing is, I grew up with very lovey, touchy-feely family members. It's bothered me from as far back as I can remember. My grandpa used to put his hand on my shoulder or neck and give me a pat or rub.. it was bugging me out pre kindergarten. My family also did alot of force hug/emotional displays.. and the more they did it/do it.. the more violated I feel. It has something to do with me feeling like I am being both physically and emotionally hi-jacked through a social norm, or someones elses good intent, but I can't do anything about it or reject it.. because only a cruel bastard would do such a thing.. and I'm left to endure. It's really weird. Part of me thinks.. this isn't normal.. a normal, healthy person shouldn't be rejecting affection demonstrations from people they care about.. but another part of me says.. BS.. normal healthy people would not force physical interaction on someone without picking up on various ques that its okay. Maybe they should be a little more sensitive with boundaries.


    Thoughts? Similarities?
    I'm perfectly fine people touching me as long as they aren't hurting me. Am I the only one who's like that?
    MBTI: INFP
    Enneagram: 6w7, phobic
    Tritype: 6-9-2
    Instinctual Variant: Sx/Sp
    Temperament: Pure Supine
    D&D Alignment: Neutral Good
    Political Stance: Solid Liberal
    Religious Views: Atheist

    Fi > Ne > Ti > Fe > Se > Si > Te > Ni

    "Forgiveness means letting go of the past." ~ Gerald Jampolsky
    "I am justice!" ~ Light Yagami, Death Note
    "The choices people make tell you a lot about a person, but the reasons [...] tell you even more." ~ Albus Dumbledore (paraphrased)

    Tatiana ♥

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