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  1. #1
    Senior Member Lily flower's Avatar
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    Default NF's and a clean house

    Any advice for two NF's who are married and can't seem to keep our house clean?

    We are both so far from "S," that we tend to not notice or have any motivation to clean up. Also, we both love "projects," so the papers tend to pile up as well.

    But I really would like to live in a clean environment. It is so refreshing when everything is cleaned up.

    Any good solutions?

  2. #2
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    I tend to use commercial breaks to clean up when I watch tv. That way I don't waste time sitting around, I know that I won't be doig the boring task for more than 5-10 minutes, and it gets done, while I get to do something fun. We also divide and conquer. I do the shopping, he does the dishes, I cook, he vaccuums. The reason? I reall really hate the sound of the vaccuumcleaner, and doing the dishes. He really hates going to the grocery store and doesnt have inspiration for dinner every day. Divide and conquer.

    Lastly, we accept that we're never going to keep it as clean as we both ideally woud like unless we get a housekeeper. But we can keep it managable
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  3. #3
    Post Human Post Qlip's Avatar
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    My house is perfectly clean once every two weeks or so. I've just wrapped up whatever it is that looked like a bomb exploded in my living room. Then I want to make sure the slate is clear for the next one and I go on a cleaning frenzy. No, no advice here.

  4. #4
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    ^ I have cycles of hurricane messes & spotless cleanliness also

    That said, the following (which probably seems terribly obvious, but was not always so to me) helps it stay clean longer & not become such a huge disaster when it does get messy:
    - Try and put stuff away immediately. Some examples: when the dishwasher stops - put the dishes away NOW. Keep the dishwasher empty so you can load up the dirty dishes as you eat off the plates & cook with utensils. If you don't have a dishwasher like me, then wash every little thing as you go. Hang up clothes right away after taking them out of the dryer. Put dirty ones in the hamper, not on the floor; it's only a few extra movements. The little extra effort NOW saves you a lot in the future.
    - Create organizing systems which allow you to be lazy. Storage is hugely helpful here, the kind of storage which allows you to shove stuff into it quickly. Most decorative stuff & furniture I have doubles as storage in some way. Making storage visually appealing is a good as it appears you've left it out on purpose, or it's just furniture that happens to have drawers or a closed cabinet space. For instance, I toss my jewelery onto a decorative tree branch stand or in an open jewlery box I've decorated with a postcard & seashells. The haphazard presentation looks artful. My printer sits atop a filing cabinet (which makes it "table-like"), with one drawer filled with empty folders & a sharpie I can quickly shove paperwork into & label the folder, so I can still find it easily later, but now it's put away. My nightstand has a cabinet in it to shove bedside books, TV remotes & other stuff I stash on my nightstand. I have plastic bins on wheels filled with shoes under my bed, so I easily can kick my shoes off into them & then slide them under the bed. I'm not the kind to line my shoes up neatly in a closet like my INFJ (as he is a stereotypical J when it comes to organizing). I also have an armoire, so when I am truly lazy I can toss unfolded clothes into it instead of leaving baskets of clean laundry around. Drawers & closest require folding & hanging, which of course, is more difficult . Basically, all of my clutter can quickly be tossed away in some nearby storage & easily be accessed later because I have so much storage it does not require much organization within it.
    - Keep quick cleaning supplies around. If you do little cleanups here & there, again, it won't turn into a huge mess. It's easy to do this if you shell out a little extra for the pricey, but convenient quick cleaning supplies. The #1 mess in my bathroom is makeup on the counter, so I keep some cleaning wet wipes under the counter to swipe over the counter when I don't have the motivation to get a rag & spray bottle out.
    - Make cleaning as fun/laid-back as possible. I blast music, take breaks & eat a snack (but not too long, so momentum is not lost), and promise myself I will be able to relax or do something fun afterward, which will be much more enjoyable with a clean house. Be reasonable about what you can do in time period, dividing up the house if it is large, or cleaning one area thoroughly & the other areas quickly "just for now". In my family, we call this "a lick & a promise" cleaning . Don't be a perfectionist (this used to hang me up).
    - Be efficient - I switch back & forth between different chores in different rooms to maximize the ease & speed of cleaning everything. Letting stuff soak a bit helps a lot, and in the meantime I do something else, instead of scrubbing my fingers raw. For example, it will be easier to scrub the shower clean if you spray some cleaner on it & let it sit while you do other stuff. The more efficient you get, the less daunting it will seem to clean again in the future.
    - Stir your sense of shame - invite people over . I will clean like a madwoman if I know people are coming over. It's not just embarrassment at being viewed as a slob, but I also don't like people to be uncomfortable. I don't want them to be scared to use my bathroom or drink out of a glass. So inviting someone over like once a week keeps my messy habits in check, because the messier it is the harder it is to clean quickly in preparation for a visitor.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

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  5. #5
    Certified Sausage Smoker Elfboy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lily flower View Post
    Any advice for two NF's who are married and can't seem to keep our house clean?

    We are both so far from "S," that we tend to not notice or have any motivation to clean up. Also, we both love "projects," so the papers tend to pile up as well.

    But I really would like to live in a clean environment. It is so refreshing when everything is cleaned up.

    Any good solutions?
    hire a maid service. you can get your entire house cleaned for $40-$60 once a month and save 10-15 hours or so that you can use to actually enjoy your free time
    ENFP: We put the Fi in Fire
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  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    ^ I have cycles of hurricane messes & spotless cleanliness also

    That said, the following (which probably seems terribly obvious, but was not always so to me) helps it stay clean longer & not become such a huge disaster when it does get messy:
    - Try and put stuff away immediately. Some examples: when the dishwasher stops - put the dishes away NOW. Keep the dishwasher empty so you can load up the dirty dishes as you eat off the plates & cook with utensils. If you don't have a dishwasher like me, then wash every little thing as you go. Hang up clothes right away after taking them out of the dryer. Put dirty ones in the hamper, not on the floor; it's only a few extra movements. The little extra effort NOW saves you a lot in the future.
    - Create organizing systems which allow you to be lazy. Storage is hugely helpful here, the kind of storage which allows you to shove stuff into it quickly. Most decorative stuff & furniture I have doubles as storage in some way. Making storage visually appealing is a good as it appears you've left it out on purpose, or it's just furniture that happens to have drawers or a closed cabinet space. For instance, I toss my jewelery onto a decorative tree branch stand or in an open jewlery box I've decorated with a postcard & seashells. The haphazard presentation looks artful. My printer sits atop a filing cabinet (which makes it "table-like"), with one drawer filled with empty folders & a sharpie I can quickly shove paperwork into & label the folder, so I can still find it easily later, but now it's put away. My nightstand has a cabinet in it to shove bedside books, TV remotes & other stuff I stash on my nightstand. I have plastic bins on wheels filled with shoes under my bed, so I easily can kick my shoes off into them & then slide them under the bed. I'm not the kind to line my shoes up neatly in a closet like my INFJ (as he is a stereotypical J when it comes to organizing). I also have an armoire, so when I am truly lazy I can toss unfolded clothes into it instead of leaving baskets of clean laundry around. Drawers & closest require folding & hanging, which of course, is more difficult . Basically, all of my clutter can quickly be tossed away in some nearby storage & easily be accessed later because I have so much storage it does not require much organization within it.
    - Keep quick cleaning supplies around. If you do little cleanups here & there, again, it won't turn into a huge mess. It's easy to do this if you shell out a little extra for the pricey, but convenient quick cleaning supplies. The #1 mess in my bathroom is makeup on the counter, so I keep some cleaning wet wipes under the counter to swipe over the counter when I don't have the motivation to get a rag & spray bottle out.
    - Make cleaning as fun/laid-back as possible. I blast music, take breaks & eat a snack (but not too long, so momentum is not lost), and promise myself I will be able to relax or do something fun afterward, which will be much more enjoyable with a clean house. Be reasonable about what you can do in time period, dividing up the house if it is large, or cleaning one area thoroughly & the other areas quickly "just for now". In my family, we call this "a lick & a promise" cleaning . Don't be a perfectionist (this used to hang me up).
    - Be efficient - I switch back & forth between different chores in different rooms to maximize the ease & speed of cleaning everything. Letting stuff soak a bit helps a lot, and in the meantime I do something else, instead of scrubbing my fingers raw. For example, it will be easier to scrub the shower clean if you spray some cleaner on it & let it sit while you do other stuff. The more efficient you get, the less daunting it will seem to clean again in the future.
    - Stir your sense of shame - invite people over . I will clean like a madwoman if I know people are coming over. It's not just embarrassment at being viewed as a slob, but I also don't like people to be uncomfortable. I don't want them to be scared to use my bathroom or drink out of a glass. So inviting someone over like once a week keeps my messy habits in check, because the messier it is the harder it is to clean quickly in preparation for a visitor.
    I do a lot of this. Right now half of my house is spotless... and the other half is "what.... crime... occurred.... here...?!!?"

    I usually blast some fun workout type music and whip of a list of what i want to accomplish. every sunday I do certain things like, wash my sheets, wash clothes, pick up kitchen. on the first of every month i wash my mattress pad and any blankets I am using. every three months i wash my pillows....

    Every two to three weeks I have a cleaning jihad where I wash floors, vacuum, clean my bathroom, clean out the fridge, etc.

  7. #7
    Senior Member Lily flower's Avatar
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    Today is the perfect illustration of why I need a cleaner house. Our air conditioning is broken. It was 100 degrees outside yesterday (literally), and it's Friday. I need to call the air conditioning guy today, but I'm too embarrassed to, because everything is such a mess. And it's too hot to clean!! Every time I start I only last for half an hour and then I have to sit down on the couch. Sometimes I wish I weren't such an N.

  8. #8
    Senior Member King sns's Avatar
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    SONG GAME IS A LIFE SAVER!!!!!!!!

    So basically, put on your favorite pandora mix, and clean each room with a song. (A song for the kitchen, a song for the bathroom.) Go in circles around the house until it is clean or the time is up. You may have to adjust the formula. (Like, I have 3 songs for the kitchen to two songs for the bedroom to one song for all the other rooms.) But it just makes cleaning less routine and more fun. It was invented by my ISFJ(?) friend who has 4 kids under 5, and is pregnant with her fifth. (It's a good-sized house.) She plays it in small increments throughout the day. I just do it all in a half an hour or 40 minutes a day. Depends on the size of your house and living situation.
    06/13 10:51:03 five sounds: you!!!
    06/13 10:51:08 shortnsweet: no you!!
    06/13 10:51:12 shortnsweet: go do your things and my things too!
    06/13 10:51:23 five sounds: oh hell naw
    06/13 10:51:55 shortnsweet: !!!!
    06/13 10:51:57 shortnsweet: (cries)
    06/13 10:52:19 RiftsWRX: You two are like furbies stuck in a shoe box

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    by sns.

  9. #9
    Senior Member King sns's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lily flower View Post
    Today is the perfect illustration of why I need a cleaner house. Our air conditioning is broken. It was 100 degrees outside yesterday (literally), and it's Friday. I need to call the air conditioning guy today, but I'm too embarrassed to, because everything is such a mess. And it's too hot to clean!! Every time I start I only last for half an hour and then I have to sit down on the couch. Sometimes I wish I weren't such an N.
    Hahaha. That reminds me of the time when my heat broke and my house was TRASHED! I'm usually pretty clean after the invention of song game, but not on this particular day. Dishes everywhere. It was extremely cold out and snowing, probably in the single digits. As I waited for the guy to come out, I put on layer after layer of clothing. No shower. So he walked in to a girl with about 4 heavy layers, fleece pants, a bathrobe, hat, scarf, and gloves. Alcohol glasses all over the counter. It looked SO BAD!!!!!! (Thankfully this guy is like a down-home hick guy with no teeth, very pleasant, has come by a few times before for the heat. I don't think he cares too much.)
    06/13 10:51:03 five sounds: you!!!
    06/13 10:51:08 shortnsweet: no you!!
    06/13 10:51:12 shortnsweet: go do your things and my things too!
    06/13 10:51:23 five sounds: oh hell naw
    06/13 10:51:55 shortnsweet: !!!!
    06/13 10:51:57 shortnsweet: (cries)
    06/13 10:52:19 RiftsWRX: You two are like furbies stuck in a shoe box

    My Nohari
    My Johari
    by sns.

  10. #10
    Member nomoreshallwepart's Avatar
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    Ha, you've just found a big hole in NF relationships. My mum and dad are SFs and are super tidy, I'm a bit of a slob. I'm still thinking that I'd rather have the company of an NF in an untidy house or have to do more housework.

    Why don't you have a schedule? You are a J and would tend to be good at composing and honouring schedules. I like to set plans either on paper or mentally for things I'd like to put off. I find that I am good at planning and following through but it is not an inherent habit.

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