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  1. #11
    Crazy Diamond Billy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lily flower View Post
    Any advice for two NF's who are married and can't seem to keep our house clean?

    We are both so far from "S," that we tend to not notice or have any motivation to clean up. Also, we both love "projects," so the papers tend to pile up as well.

    But I really would like to live in a clean environment. It is so refreshing when everything is cleaned up.

    Any good solutions?
    You're an INFJ, you poor Fe enslaved creature, do as I do, invite more people over, you'll be terrified of them seeing what a slob you are and spend more time cleaning. Seriously. If its just me and her I will be like, meh ill do it tomorrow... if I have a guest on the way, its like QUICK! we must clean!
    Ground control to Major Tom

  2. #12
    Senior Member ceecee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lily flower View Post
    Today is the perfect illustration of why I need a cleaner house. Our air conditioning is broken. It was 100 degrees outside yesterday (literally), and it's Friday. I need to call the air conditioning guy today, but I'm too embarrassed to, because everything is such a mess. And it's too hot to clean!! Every time I start I only last for half an hour and then I have to sit down on the couch. Sometimes I wish I weren't such an N.
    I'm not an S but I love a clean and organized home. My ENFJ is less hung up on it but he wouldn't tolerate cluttered/dirty. Here's some drill Sargent type help. It does work.

    http://www.flylady.net/
    I like to rock n' roll all night and *part* of every day. I usually have errands... I can only rock from like 1-3.

  3. #13
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    ha-ha i can so relate, i really need strong motivation to clean. My partner comes over and complains about the mess all the time, i've gotten to the point where i just tune him out. I do make an effort for him, but it never seems to be good enouph. He is really anal about cleaning, he would waste half a lifetime doing it. To me it's a waste of time, as long as everything is organized it doesn't matter if its messy. One can be messy and organized at the same time. I just hope my partner can learn to accept this untidy aspect about my charachter, i care about him and want him to be happy when he is in my environment.

    Maybe his nit-picking is just a phase?

  4. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by kafkacat View Post
    ha-ha i can so relate, i really need strong motivation to clean. My partner comes over and complains about the mess all the time, i've gotten to the point where i just tune him out. I do make an effort for him, but it never seems to be good enouph. He is really anal about cleaning, he would waste half a lifetime doing it. To me it's a waste of time, as long as everything is organized it doesn't matter if its messy. One can be messy and organized at the same time. I just hope my partner can learn to accept this untidy aspect about my charachter, i care about him and want him to be happy when he is in my environment.

    Maybe his nit-picking is just a phase?
    LULZ...no. I'd guess you have yourself an SJ or mayyyyybe an NTJ. It's part of his character and you should accept it if you want him to accept yours.

    Lack of external order drives some types nuts. I bet if you made some effort for him he'd pick up the rest of the slack if you guys lived together, because often that type enjoys cleaning, but doesn't want to clean up EVERYTHING if you're putting in no effort at all.

  5. #15
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    Yup...most absolutely an SJ lol. I did suggest moving in together but he said it was to messy and he could never live like i do.
    But i just brushed it off and thought it was bad timing to ask such a question. But now that i think about it, i take it to heart. : (
    Does this mean that he could never live with me???? I don't know how to change, I am who I am, and would never be happy being someone different. Nutz...now i'm ruminating about this very issue. I don't want this to create more distance between us, i have a hard enouph time staying in a relationship as it is, and i really like this guy.....

  6. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by kafkacat View Post
    Yup...most absolutely an SJ lol. I did suggest moving in together but he said it was to messy and he could never live like i do.
    But i just brushed it off and thought it was bad timing to ask such a question. But now that i think about it, i take it to heart. : (
    Does this mean that he could never live with me???? I don't know how to change, I am who I am, and would never be happy being someone different. Nutz...now i'm ruminating about this very issue. I don't want this to create more distance between us, i have a hard enouph time staying in a relationship as it is, and i really like this guy.....
    I don't know, I love my clean SJs..but I'm also willing to meet them halfway, like I don't want to disappoint their expectations of order, because I like for the environment to be clean too...just not THAT clean. Their level of clean almost seems like a talent to me, like it's cleanliness carried to an art form, like being able to draw really detailed pictures...I admire a man who vaccuums in the morning. I'm attracted strongly to external order...but yeah, no, I'm not as on top of things as they are and I'm content to let them be that person...while I still maintain a certain level of cleanliness myself, of course.

    Is it THAT much of an issue? Like neat freak vs. total slob?

  7. #17
    Senior Member BAJ's Avatar
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    I'm cleaning right now.

    Motivation: The owner (who provides my housing) is coming to stay with me this week. He is bringing VIPs. There is already lots of failures this year, and I worry about things. Much of the problems are not my fault, rather other people's duties and the economy. However, I've also be criticized that I need to clean the place in the past. I've been warned. HUGE MOTIVATION.

    Previously I went and bought about 40 38 gallon tubs from the Wal-Mart. Today I bought more stuff, including a 50 gallon trash can with big wheels on it. I may go back tonight and get more 50 gallon trash cans so that I can have some for laundry management and other stuff. So I'm contemplating how many additional trash bins and/or tubs I need to manage things. In reality...probably NONE.

    Maybe I should also buy a pressure washer and hedge trimmer. The former would be for the dishes, I imagine. There is not enough space for a dishwasher.

    I'm also piling stuff of mostly sentimental value in a closet.

    I cannot force myself to follow any system.

    I also recommend the book "Organizing for the Creative Person" because reading is more fun than cleaning...so is reading internet forums.

  8. #18
    Member nomoreshallwepart's Avatar
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    My dad is an ESFP but he is really obsessed with cleaning, it seems to go against the perceiving nature even though he seems a classic ESFP by most accounts.

  9. #19
    Senior Member KDude's Avatar
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    I'm afraid I'm borderline hopeless in this category.

    Although I get these spurts every once in awhile where I pick up and clean like a madman.

    Only to somehow have it all a mess again. No one amount of punishment ever changed me as a kid either. My mom was the opposite.. certified OCD clean freak.. and Asian to boot. She gave up.. and so should anyone else.

  10. #20
    From the Undertow CuriousFeeling's Avatar
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    I prefer to keep my spaces clean, but sometimes I can get lost doing other things that I end up forgetting to do simple things like cleaning. If it gets too close to complete entropy, I end up going bonkers, and like to have places to store things in. What I find helpful to get motivated to clean the house is working with music, or cleaning the house while coming up with ideas and stuff for whatever project or thing I'm thinking of. It's a great moment to brainstorm, or just get lost in my head while running on automatic.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

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    “Thoughts are the shadows of our feelings -- always darker, emptier and simpler.”
    ― Friedrich Nietzsche




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