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  1. #1
    Professional Trickster Esoteric Wench's Avatar
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    Default ENFPs (and non-ENFPs): Share Your Te Bitchslap Stories!

    This thread grew out of a post on Malkavia’s interesting “So this infamous ENFP 'Te Bitchslap'.....” thread. I thought it’d be fascinating to dedicate a sister thread to ENFPs sharing their Te Bitchslap stories.

    ENFPs, let me suggest you organize your stories in this way:

    1. What did the recipient of the Bitchslap do to deserve your ire?
    2. What were you feeling? Before? During? And, after?
    3. What was the social fallout? Did you consider it beforehand? Was it worth it anyway?

    Non-ENFPs are welcome to respond, too. Perhaps you non-ENFPs have questions or want to share you stories as the recipients of an ENFP Te Bitchslap.

    Below is my original post on the other thread that explains what a Te Bitchslap is and elaborates on the above:

    Quote Originally Posted by Esoteric Wench View Post
    The Te Bitchslap* is an example of and ENFP's Fi and Te working in concert:

    Fi feels indignant about some perceived wrong +
    Te decides to let the perpetrator of said perceived wrong know about it....
    usually in excruciating detail and in a very logical manner.
    = ENFP Te Bitchslap

    #1 - When the Te Bitchslap is delivered, the other person's vulnerabilities / social niceties are not taken into consideration. (Letting social niceties take a back seat when a wrong is perceived is very, very Fi.) Marmie Dearest described this aspect of Fi very well in one of her posts:

    Quote Originally Posted by Marmie Dearest View Post
    It's just that Fi is much more concerned with their internal feeling of what is right and true, even if that means being disruptive. It's not like seeking disruption, but not minding if you cause it if it promotes what the Fi user sees as right or true. Authenticity is seen as paramount, even though Fi users may also like harmony. For Fe users it seems that harmony and connection are paramount, even though they may also like authenticity.
    #2 - Te steps in. What is of utmost importance to Te (ENFP's tertiary function) is to communicate in a dispassionate manner how wrong the other person is. Another characteristic of the Te Bitchslap is that it tends to be very well-organized. For example, when I've given a Te Bitchslap in writing, I tend to bullet point and sequentially number it. This is very Te of me. Te likes to figure out how to get to from Point A to Point B in the most logical and concise manner possible. Or think of it like this: Te was made for PowerPoint presentations. Imagine having to deliver a critique of someone via a PowerPoint slide show.... Well you get the idea.

    One More Thing:

    A couple of ENFPs on this thread have mentioned they've never fully experienced delivering a Te Bitchslap. Perhaps this is true. I can only share my personal experience here: I was in my early 30s before I had enough confidence in myself and enough life experience to deliver the Te Bitchslap. The great thing about your 30s is you finally know who you are and what you want. You don't take so much crap from people. And, you're not so afraid to speak your mind. Voila, I was finally able to tap into my Te Bitch-slapping skills.

    One More One More Thing:

    I don't think the Te Bitchslap is necessarily a bad thing. It's more a question of using it responsibly or irresponsibly. It's been my experience that when I've really let go on someone with the Te Bitchslap, they royally deserved it. I think the trick is considering what the social fallout/damage to the other person is going to be just before you deliver the slap. Sometimes the fallout is not worth it. But sometimes it is. <Insert coyly evil grin here.>




    *I think Orobas (on this very forum) came up with the "Te Bitchslap" term. I think it's a great name for this phenomenon. (Please correct me if I'm wrong here.) But in lieu of a correction, let me say thanks to Orobas for this term.
    ENFP with kick*ss Te | 7w8 so | ♀

  2. #2
    Professional Trickster Esoteric Wench's Avatar
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    I'll be posting a couple of my own ENFP Te Bitchslap stories later today. Must. Go. To. Work.
    ENFP with kick*ss Te | 7w8 so | ♀

  3. #3
    Senior Member King sns's Avatar
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    Haha. I Te bitchslapped an ENFP the other day. It was someone I was supervising, (probably not the best one for a bitchslap). She was being ridiculous all throughout the night. I don't really like correcting people, but will do it anyways in a supervisor position. I was sweetly "teaching" her all evening. She got my drifts, and that was great. But it was just one thing after the other. Then she ran into the nurses station and started talking really loudly during report. She would not shut up, she was being an emotional mess about something minor on the schedule. Going on and on to someone else. I kept trying to talk over her but she kept getting louder and louder, so I said. "Hey! That problem you have with the schedule? Take care of it, FAST! And then leave the room."
    06/13 10:51:03 five sounds: you!!!
    06/13 10:51:08 shortnsweet: no you!!
    06/13 10:51:12 shortnsweet: go do your things and my things too!
    06/13 10:51:23 five sounds: oh hell naw
    06/13 10:51:55 shortnsweet: !!!!
    06/13 10:51:57 shortnsweet: (cries)
    06/13 10:52:19 RiftsWRX: You two are like furbies stuck in a shoe box

    My Nohari
    My Johari
    by sns.

  4. #4
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Post available per request via PM. Warning: tl;dr-hazard.
    Last edited by Amargith; 08-31-2011 at 05:22 PM.
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





    "Harm none, do as ye will”

  5. #5
    Certified Sausage Smoker Elfboy's Avatar
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    a few vivid ones from high school

    1) in economics class a teacher kept patting me on the back so I told him
    me: please don't do that
    him: does it again
    me: I don't like it when people touch me, please don't do that
    him: does it another time a few days later
    me: I've requested that you don't touch me. I'm not asking you, I'm telling you
    him: I'll do it if I want
    me: no you won't. you WILL not touch me again. is that clear
    him: laughs condescendingly
    me: oh! you think this is funny? I'm sure the superintendent will find it HILARIOUS when I file against one of his teachers for sexual harassment charges. I do not ask for your respect, I COMMAND your respect, and if you want to keep your job and avoid felony charges, you WILL not touch me again. do I make myself clear?
    him and the rest of the class: .........
    *in his defense, the likelihood that he was actually sexually harassing me was very slim, but that wasn't the point. if people don't respect me, I force them to respect me.

    PS: more to come
    ENFP: We put the Fi in Fire
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  6. #6
    Certified Sausage Smoker Elfboy's Avatar
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    from my blog

    Elfboy's eventful night at the club
    *CCC = confused club chick
    DDD = drunk desperate dude

    Elfboy: -dancing and being sexy-
    CCC: -comes up and wraps arms around neck-
    Elfboy: -calmly grabs wrists and removes from neck-
    CCC: what?!
    Elfboy: no darling
    CCC: why not?
    Elfboy: you didn't respect my personal space. I don't court those who don't respect my space
    CCC: oh come on, all guys want it
    Elfboy: don't tell me what I want
    CCC: what?
    Elfboy: Allow me to reiterate. I know you're used to talking to submissive boys who act like whips dogs around you because you're attractive, but that's not how you talk to a man.
    CCC: ...oh. I'm sorry
    Elfboy: life and learn my dear. apology accepted

    DDD: dude, what's your deal?
    Elfboy: what do you mean?
    DDD: why were you such a jerk to that girl?
    Elfboy: it's called personal boundaries, I simply made mine clear
    DDD: you didn't have to be so mean
    Elfboy: I wasn't mean at all, you're just saying that because you want to do her. now if you're excuse me, my night off has already been interrupted twice
    DDD: I won't excuse you -grabs shirt-
    Elfboy: do you see the big guy over there in the orange shirt? that's the bouncer.
    DDD: what's your point?
    Elfboy: that your options are put me down and play to both our best interests or touch me again and have this pencil stabbed into your kidney.

    CCC: what are you doing?
    DDD: teaching this guy a lesson for being such a jerk to you
    CCC: -slaps DDD- you're the one being a jerk. he didn't do anything to me, so put him down
    Elfboy: thankyou my dear
    PS: the funny part was, she was in her late 20s
    ENFP: We put the Fi in Fire
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    Sunburst!
    "You are a gay version of Gambit" Speed Gavroche
    "I wish that I could be affected by any hate, but I can't, cuz I just get affected by the bank" Chamillionaire

  7. #7
    Diving into Ni-space Crescent Fresh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vala Faye View Post
    However, it was the last time he did what he did. He had some residual triggers left, but you saw as he uttered those sentences that he started shaking and biting his lip, knowing full well the impact those words could have on me. I finally understood. He did mean what he said, he'd done what he' done out of love. He just was *really* lousy at expressing it . I forgave him instantly and was finally able to let go. He's learned now that I can take on the world on my own..and he no longer needs to 'help' me with that.
    Wow, I can literally feel the goosebumps while reading this little anecdote of yours! It clearly shows it's better not to cross with ENFPs! I think the greatest thing about ENFP to deal with such crisis with someone who they care about is to at least open up their feelings and perspective. I think INFJ will typically just walk away + doorslamming. At least I respect that ENFP will take a final risk by blowing up in full-scale, as it offers a chance of a turning point. Thanks for sharing this as I know it isn't easy to share one's merciless T-bitchslap.

    My question is, would you consider after such T-bitchslap further bring your relationship with him closer, or more distant over time? Do you still respect him as much as before the T-bitchslap?

    I am still overwhelmed after reading this btw, just wow.

  8. #8
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    What did the recipient of the Bitchslap do to deserve your ire?
    A friend and I were walking on the street somewhat late at night. She was wearing short shorts with lace tights underneath. She definitely looked sexy, but still classy. Anyway, a disgusting man walked past us, grabbed her and muttered "I'd like to shove my d**k in that p***y."

    What were you feeling? Before? During? And, after?
    I thought it was absolutely disgusting to treat a girl who was underage at the time in that way and I couldn't believe he could be so full of arrogance and filth (Fi feels indignant about some perceived wrong) + I decided that I needed to teach him that the way he was behaving was making no one happy, not even himself (Te decides to let the perpetrator of said perceived wrong know about it). During the "bitchslap", I wasn't really thinking about what I was feeling as it was just flowing out in the form of words (that were apparently well put together). Afterwards, I felt protective of my friend and though angry at the guy, I felt better knowing I had taught him a lesson.

    What was the social fallout? Did you consider it beforehand? Was it worth it anyway?
    In essence I delivered a long, drawn out speech "...in excruciating detail and in a very logical manner", a crowd had gathered but I didn't notice. I wasn't really thinking, I just chased him down and pinned him against the wall. I don't know if it was worth it, but I feel better knowing I may have caused him to consider the fault in his ways and begin a better life.

  9. #9
    Senior Member King sns's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elfboy View Post
    from my blog

    Love that story!
    06/13 10:51:03 five sounds: you!!!
    06/13 10:51:08 shortnsweet: no you!!
    06/13 10:51:12 shortnsweet: go do your things and my things too!
    06/13 10:51:23 five sounds: oh hell naw
    06/13 10:51:55 shortnsweet: !!!!
    06/13 10:51:57 shortnsweet: (cries)
    06/13 10:52:19 RiftsWRX: You two are like furbies stuck in a shoe box

    My Nohari
    My Johari
    by sns.

  10. #10
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Crescent Fresh View Post
    Wow, I can literally feel the goosebumps while reading this little anecdote of yours! It clearly shows it's better not to cross with ENFPs! I think the greatest thing about ENFP to deal with such crisis with someone who they care about is to at least open up their feelings and perspective. I think INFJ will typically just walk away + doorslamming. At least I respect that ENFP will take a final risk by blowing up in full-scale, as it offers a chance of a turning point. Thanks for sharing this as I know it isn't easy to share one's merciless T-bitchslap.

    My question is, would you consider after such T-bitchslap further bring your relationship with him closer, or more distant over time? Do you still respect him as much as before the T-bitchslap?

    I am still overwhelmed after reading this btw, just wow.
    Post available per request in PM.
    Last edited by Amargith; 09-14-2011 at 05:40 AM.
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





    "Harm none, do as ye will”

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