[ENFP] ENFPs (and non-ENFPs): Share Your Te Bitchslap Stories!

[cen98]

Glaad I found this. I used to think had a bad temper because I normally think of myself as an accommodating, easy-going person and it was just me that had this sort of reaction to some things seemingly out of nowhere. As long as we're not in a situation that seriously violates our values, most "bitchslaps" usually comes across as cheeky/witty , which I think ENFPs like about themselves and that's also why this thread might come across as self-congratulatory.

 

[uumlau]

Reminds me of the following quote:

Origin: Quotation from Publilius Syrus, a Latin writer of maxims in the 1st century BC. In the 17th century, British poet and dramatist John Dryden used it in "Absalom and Achitophel", generally considered to be the greatest political poem in the English language:

Oh that my Pow'r to Saving were confin’d:
Why am I forc’d, like Heav’n, against my mind,
To make Examples of another Kind?
Must I at length the Sword of Justice draw?
Oh curst Effects of necessary Law!
How ill my Fear they by my Mercy scan,
Beware the Fury of a Patient Man.​

 

[stalemate]

I guess maybe I had one the other day... I was at the dentist getting some crowns and the lady was coloring them to match my natural teeth. But she left this weird white tips on them. It looked stupid -- like a french tip manicure but in your mouth.

She showed them to me for final verification before she fired in the kiln and I was like "what's up with the white?" She explained that she did them that way because my natural teeth are translucent at the tips, like all teeth are. I tried to patiently explain to her the difference between color and opacity and that failed. I then tried to tell her that her gradient wasn't gradual enough. Again, total failure. She kept trying to convince me that I should like it the way she did it.

Finally I said "The illusion you tried to create does not work" and she shut up and redid them.

 

[Elfboy]

I don't know if Rhett Butler is an ENTJ or an ENFP...but THIS is a Te bitchslap

 

[Elfboy]

oo! I just remembered a good one (though this is a more gentle one)

back when I worked at a grocery store, I was helping a customer and, naturally, asked how I could help him, so he proceeds to go off on this random rant about how he is divorced, his daughter hates him, his son is bisexual and his ex remarried a rich guy. normally, I would have loved to waste time getting payed to listen to his (mildly entertaining) rant, but I was on closing duty that night and I didn't want to get out late, so I had to cut him off.

me: "Sir, would you go to a therapist and tell them about what type of peanut butter you want/how you want your groceries bagged?"
him: "huh? no"
me: "well, then why are you talking to the grocery store clerk about information a therapist needs to hear? I'm not tryin' to be mean or anything, but I think you're a little mixed up here. this is not my area of expertise XD XD "

fortunately, the guy laughed his ass off (I think was an ENFP actually, he was hella going on an Ne/emo Fi tangent, so naturally he found my gentle yet not-so-subtle Ne/Te bitchslap hilarious)

 

[erikric]

You should lighten up. People probably think you're nuts.

Kinda late when you're an ENFP, don't you think?

 

[Virtual ghost]

I dont want to be rude or anything but the only thing that I see here is Bitchslaping. I dont see that much of a Te actually.

 

[Qlip]

I dont want to be rude or anything but the only thing that I see here is Bitchslaping. I dont see that much of a Te actually.

Bitchslapping is Te, it's keeping people in their place.

 

[Virtual ghost]

Bitchslapping is Te, it's keeping people in their place.

Since English is not my first language I will take you word of it.


However most of the stuff that are writting in this thread sound more like a hostile outbursts than Te. (in my opinion)

 

[Qlip]

Since English is not my first language I will take you word of it.


However most of the stuff that are writting in this thread sound more like a hostile outbursts than Te. (in my opinion)

Tert Te is clumsy, and unsubtle, that isn't a surprise. I'd guess you'd have to understand the reason for action to understand the Te aspect of it.

 

[Elfboy]

I dont want to be rude or anything but the only thing that I see here is Bitchslaping. I dont see that much of a Te actually.

the Te is the "slamming their illogical statements in their face and throwing in hard evidence" part

 

[Virtual ghost]

Tert Te is clumsy, and unsubtle, that isn't a surprise. I'd guess you'd have to understand the reason for action to understand the Te aspect of it.

Exactly my point. Way too much Fi is involved for this to be called Te bitch slap.


Empirical example: me and my mom a while ago. (which happens to be an ENFP btw)
Shortened version (she was annoying me and disturbing me)



She: AO why you neven pay attention to the girls ?
Me: Because it dont find them interesting , they bore me.
She: I know , but I think that hanging out with women would trully be good for you.
Me: *whatever*
She: To tell you the truth I am gettting worried since you have never been in love ... you never experianced that ...... or had sex.
Me: You know what ? If you have problems with my sexuality/virginity you are more than welcome to do something about it if it bothers you that much. After all you are a woman.


(she cried for 3 hours after my statement)



Now if we presume that this is a Te bitchslap that would mean that my use of Te in this situation was pretty good. However I dont see what was so Te-ish in my statement. Which is btw. just a little bit more rude thing to say than most of the stuff that you are all writing in this thread.


Tell me: Do you see any efficiency talk , time-tables , strategizing , defining of steps ..... in this thread ?


So in my opinion this is more of Fi - bitchslap thread than Te bitchslap thread.





My 2 cents.

 

[uumlau]

Since English is not my first language I will take you word of it.


However most of the stuff that are writting in this thread sound more like a hostile outbursts than Te. (in my opinion)

Tert Te is clumsy, and unsubtle, that isn't a surprise. I'd guess you'd have to understand the reason for action to understand the Te aspect of it.

The "Te" part of it is the manner in which the hostility is conveyed. It generally avoids name-calling, and tries to point out where the other person is missing the facts or is otherwise disrespecting personal boundaries. The hostility doesn't arise from Te, it is already there due to prior provocation. The Te comes into play because "being nice" (in the NeFi fashion) didn't work. At this point, the plain facts are stated rather forcefully and directly.

INTJs may have difficulty identifying with this, because for us, making the "Te argument" comes first, so it never rises to the level of slapping, though it can be regarded as brusque or rude. Let's just say that our frustrations don't usually come from being too nice to people.

 

[Esoteric Wench]

the Te is the "slamming their illogical statements in their face and throwing in hard evidence" part

+1

 

[Esoteric Wench]

I dont want to be rude or anything but the only thing that I see here is Bitchslaping. I dont see that much of a Te actually.

Antisocial one, I think what gives an ENFP's Te bitchslap its peculiar flavor is the Fi component. There is a certain, I've-got-the-weight-of-my-own-moral-superiority flavor to the ENFP Te bitchslap. See below for a quote from the OP:

The Te Bitchslap* is an example of and ENFP's Fi and Te working in concert:

Fi feels indignant about some perceived wrong +
Te decides to let the perpetrator of said perceived wrong know about it....
usually in excruciating detail in a very logical manner.
= ENFP Te Bitchslap​

#1 - When the Te Bitchslap is delivered, the other person's vulnerabilities / social niceties are not taken into consideration. (Letting social niceties take a back seat when a wrong is perceived is very, very Fi.)

#2 - Te steps in. What is of utmost importance to Te (ENFP's tertiary function) is to communicate in a dispassionate manner how wrong the other person is. Another characteristic of the Te Bitchslap is that it tends to be very well-organized. For example, when I've given a Te Bitchslap in writing, I tend to bullet point and sequentially number it. This is very Te of me. Te likes to figure out how to get to from Point A to Point B in the most logical and concise manner possible. Or think of it like this: Te was made for PowerPoint presentations. Imagine having to deliver a critique of someone via a PowerPoint slide show.... Well you get the idea.

I do think [MENTION=4347]Antisocial one[/MENTION] is right that some of the examples people have given on this thread don't necessarily rise to the level of a Te Bitchslap. But some do. I think you've gotta have the component of judging the other person as committing an immoral act (immoral as defined by Fi) to get a truly authentic bitch slap.

 

[Virtual ghost]

The "Te" part of it is the manner in which the hostility is conveyed. It generally avoids name-calling, and tries to point out where the other person is missing the facts or is otherwise disrespecting personal boundaries. The hostility doesn't arise from Te, it is already there due to prior provocation. The Te comes into play because "being nice" (in the NeFi fashion) didn't work. At this point, the plain facts are stated rather forcefully and directly.

INTJs may have difficulty identifying with this, because for us, making the "Te argument" comes first, so it never rises to the level of slapping, though it can be regarded as brusque or rude. Let's just say that our frustrations don't usually come from being too nice to people.

I am quite aware of that. (I am fairly aware of the INTJ-ENFP dynamic/differances)


But this whole thread is giving me "You know what ? I was once rude to the other person and I got away with it. Actually I did neven feel sorry for what I did" vibe.



So maybe this is their version of Te but there is no way that I will buy most of the stuff in this thread as Te.

 

[Virtual ghost]

Antisocial one, I think what gives an ENFP's Te bitchslap its peculiar flavor is the Fi component. There is a certain, I've-got-the-weight-of-my-own-moral-superiority flavor to the ENFP Te bitchslap. See below for a quote from the OP:



I do think [MENTION=4347]Antisocial one[/MENTION] is right that some of the examples people have given on this thread don't necessarily rise to the level of a Te Bitchslap. But some do. I think you've gotta have the component of judging the other person as committing an immoral act (immoral as defined by Fi) to get a truly authentic bitch slap.

I know even that, but all of this still sounds more like a Fi bitchslap to me .
(but ok English is not my first language, so we probably dont have the same picture of the word Bitchslap)

 

[Elfboy]

Antisocial one, I think what gives an ENFP's Te bitchslap its peculiar flavor is the Fi component. There is a certain, I've-got-the-weight-of-my-own-moral-superiority flavor to the ENFP Te bitchslap. See below for a quote from the OP:

this is how I tell an ENFP who is trying to look like like a TJ, has strong Te or unintentionally looks like a TJ from a real TJ. there's a subtly elitist, somewhat heroic conviction to them, usually with some degree of dramatic flair (that can range from very subtle to about as subtle as a black baptist minister turned opera singer). I recently caught one on an enneagram type me thread on personality cafe. obviously, it was supposed to be about enneagram but her writing style had so much conviction and flair to it that I slammed on the breaks and just flat out told her "you are NOT an ENTJ, you are an ENFP and here's why..." a few days later she messaged me back and said being an FP made a lot more sense and explained a lot of questions she had unanswered when she thought she was a TJ.

 

[Esoteric Wench]

Okay, time for another Te bitchslap story:

I knew this INFJ guy who was always acting like an ESTP (his shadow). It was my observation that he was having a hard time embracing his INFJness (which admittedly is a tough card for a man to draw in modern America) and he was trying to be a "playa" and was projecting this "I'm uber cool" persona that I thought was really obnoxious... and totally out of keeping with his true personality. I observed all this but said / did nothing. I reasoned that it wasn't my place to say anything so I remained quiet and on the sidelines.

One day he decided to complain about me to a mutual friend. What he said isn't really Germain to the story. Suffice it to say that he was wrong in his assessment about me. And, he was being quite hypocritical because he was engaging in equally annoying behavior... Just take my word for it. This guy was being a hypocritical dick.

Well, I decided he needed to be taken down a rung or two for his sake. Note that I sincerely believed I was in the right and he was clearly in the wrong. This Fi indignation is what gave me the chutzpah to deliver a Te Bitchslap to him.

Out of nowhere, I sent him a long and detailed email telling him exactly what I thought about him. I even talked about him being an INFJ and acting like he was an ESTP. It was very well-organized (I even bullet-pointed sections) and well-thought out. And, I'm sure it was quite stressful for him to read my diatribe.

It's important to note that I didn't send him this email as revenge. I didn't send it to try to hurt him. I actually like this INFJ guy (when he's acting like an INFJ). I truly believe he needed to hear this stuff in a brutally honest fashion so he could get a little perspective on his own obnoxious behavior. I ended my letter by telling him "I believed in him" and thought that he was a great person who needed a reality check.

He never responded. But next time I saw him in person he blanched so I knew he had read my email. Was it worth the effort? I don't know, but I'll tell you this: he's never engaged in ESTP-shadow kind of behavior in front of me again.

 

[Esoteric Wench]

this is how I tell an ENFP who is trying to look like like a TJ, has strong Te or unintentionally looks like a TJ from a real TJ. there's a subtly elitist, somewhat heroic conviction to them, usually with some degree of dramatic flair (that can range from very subtle to about as subtle as a black baptist minister turned opera singer). I recently caught one on an enneagram type me thread on personality cafe. obviously, it was supposed to be about enneagram but her writing style had so much conviction and flair to it that I slammed on the breaks and just flat out told her "you are NOT an ENTJ, you are an ENFP and here's why..." a few days later she messaged me back and said being an FP made a lot more sense and explained a lot of questions she had unanswered when she thought she was a TJ.

That's pretty interesting, Elfboy. I'm going to have to think about this and how it applies to me who we all know has some serious Te going on... Thanks for posting.