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  1. #21
    Senior Member animenagai's Avatar
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    My mother got one tonight. She told me to help her with the TV. I was busy with the dishes and had a lot on my plate, so I turned off the cable thing and told her to turn it on a minute later. She storms outside soon enough bitching at me about how unhelpful/unfriendly I am. She says that she does things for me all the time and doesn't understand why I can't just help her with something she's so weak at. Seriously lady? I told you to press the power button and you're complaining that I didn't press it for you? FFS I have arguments with her like this all the time. She just has no desire for self-improvement and that really, really pisses me off. Her belief system just states that everyone should be helpful to each other and because she has been helpful to me, I should be helpful to her. Anything else is rude and selfish. Problem is that she hides behind this and takes everything personally whenever we think she should learn something herself. This is one chronic Te bitchslap that causes constant conflict in our family.
    Chimera of Filth

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  2. #22

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    Quote Originally Posted by Elfboy View Post
    don't you think feel good about yourself for standing up to someone who was in the wrong?
    You bet, but I suspect our necessary pretexts differ as well as our understanding of strictly "defensive" or "necessary".
    "The purpose of life is to be defeated by greater and greater things." - Rainer Maria Rilke

  3. #23
    Certified Sausage Smoker Elfboy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by animenagai View Post
    My mother got one tonight. She told me to help her with the TV. I was busy with the dishes and had a lot on my plate, so I turned off the cable thing and told her to turn it on a minute later. She storms outside soon enough bitching at me about how unhelpful/unfriendly I am. She says that she does things for me all the time and doesn't understand why I can't just help her with something she's so weak at. Seriously lady? I told you to press the power button and you're complaining that I didn't press it for you? FFS I have arguments with her like this all the time. She just has no desire for self-improvement and that really, really pisses me off. Her belief system just states that everyone should be helpful to each other and because she has been helpful to me, I should be helpful to her. Anything else is rude and selfish. Problem is that she hides behind this and takes everything personally whenever we think she should learn something herself. This is one chronic Te bitchslap that causes constant conflict in our family.
    it's called altruism. the belief that one should sacrifice for the "greater collective good" and put the needs of others before his own. that's what altruism does to people. it blurs the lines of who is supposed to do what until people end up in a constant state of "I should do this" "you should do this" going on inside their head and getting angry because you couldn't tell what they think you're supposed to do (which has not been clearly defined at all). because nothing is clearly defined, they resort to emotional warfare, guilt tripping and things like "I've suffered so much, I deserve this" in which case they ending up taking what they feel they "deserve" or are "entitled to" and virtually through a tantrum like a child if you try to get in their way or even reason with them as to why they don't in fact deserve the said thing.
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  4. #24
    Certified Sausage Smoker Elfboy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by iwakar View Post
    You bet, but I suspect our necessary pretexts differ as well as our understanding of strictly "defensive" or "necessary".
    I mean, it's not like we go around doing this once a week or anything. the Te bitch slap has many levels, the lower levels of which are much more friendly, like a Te pat on the cheek. Te pimp slaps are only necessary when you have made reasonable boundaries, made them clear and people are still disrespecting them and/or you. most of the time, it's simply a communication error and a full on Te pimp slap would simply be out of place and overly harsh. people generally follow rules as long as they're clear and they understand that they're at least somewhat reasonable (thank God 45% of people are SJ)
    ENFP: We put the Fi in Fire
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  5. #25
    Secret Sex Freak Hazashin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elfboy View Post
    people generally follow rules as long as they're clear and they understand that they're at least somewhat reasonable (thank God 45% of people are SJ)
    See, SJs do have a place.
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    Fi > Ne > Ti > Fe > Se > Si > Te > Ni

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  6. #26
    Filthy Apes! Kalach's Avatar
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    Exciting name. Is it as good as an Se Actu-Slap? To what extent does it involve actual determination of truth and falsehood? If, as suggested by the examples, it's about making internal judgment external, how come you're not calling it the "I can't set limits usually, but here, have a slap" slap?


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  7. #27
    Diving into Ni-space Crescent Fresh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by iwakar View Post
    I think ENFPs are more likely than INFJs to retaliate rather than remove themselves from the hostile situation. I suppose it's because Ne+Te is more action-oriented than Ni+Ti.
    Though I can't say if removing ourself is the best scenario because it usually involves with ignoring the other party and it might further elevate the unresolved conflict.

    I suppose once INFJ starts to detach ourselves, it is an obvious sign to tell the other person that "I'm upset about you but I don't want to deal with you anymore." I've been told this often hurt others even more than we could think of. Afterall, leaving all the mess to the other party and to let them "deal with it" isn't an ideal resolution.

    The reason why ENFP can be so tolerate to a prolonged conflicts even when they kept getting unfair treatment has to do with their incredible amount of patience while trying to endlessly "rationalize" (usually in positive direction) the other party's motive. I think the Te-bitchslap or Fe-attack are often resulted in bottling up their emotional upheaveals for a long period of time. Thus, in this respect, I can understand why they have to resulted in using these deadly weapons as it's merely for self-defense.

    Though I can relate to Vala Faye's episode as I had a similar experience with an ENFP, I don't think I can relate to Elfboy's attempt as ethical since he could have resolved this privately in stead of leashing out in public. Perhaps it has to do with maturity.

  8. #28
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  9. #29
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    And still a polite one, at that
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  10. #30
    Certified Sausage Smoker Elfboy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hazashin View Post
    See, SJs do have a place.
    lol of course. if we didn't have people with Si, we'd have to constantly be relearning everything and no progress would be made. that being said, they do tend to go a little over board, but it's better than having the human race still be hunter gatherers
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