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  1. #71
    Undisciplined Starry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vala Faye View Post
    Wait, what? Oh, we were supposed to get all riled up at that? Meh, not worth the effort.
    Riled up...I didn't even know what he was saying. (Did he mean to type 'when' where he typed 'and'?)

  2. #72
    Senior Member Malkavia's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vala Faye View Post
    Wait, what? Oh, we were supposed to get all riled up at that? Meh, not worth the effort.
    Cookies are better anyway.

  3. #73
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    Quote Originally Posted by senza_tema View Post
    Well, it definitely has the sting of righteous indignation to it, I suppose, but in my experience, the famed Te bitchslap often (but not always by any means!) involves taking mostly inconsequential facts, blowing them out of all proportion, and constructing an argument that the angry ENFP thinks is supremely rational, when, in fact, they aren't making much sense at all. If you care about good logic or are just inherently a cruel person, this is when you step back and say things like "You're being very hysterical" in your most supercilious voice while they fume and fume like baby volcanoes.
    I don't feel like you are describing 'Te-bitchslap' here. What you describe above is still involving feeling (and a hell of a lot of it). This is an ENFP that has been pushed too far...but still cares.

    I think what people are not understanding about the Te-bitchslap is that Fi has been taken out of the equation (although I think I just contradicted something that Esoteric Wench said above but this is my opinion). It is Ne--->straight to Te. It is not this long dramatic emotional irrational storm. It is quick, cold, emotion-less...stab at an individual's core. It is meant to damage/destroy the relationship...like a final word. The ENFP has given up. Again...what you are describing above is an ENFP that is still invested.

  4. #74
    Senior Member sculpting's Avatar
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    I think you guys are sort of describing a continuum or possible things that can happen.

    All the examples contain descriptions that are ring true.

    It seems to me that on the more emo side you have:

    1) an emo tantrum-you hurt my feelings about something dumb and now I am whining about it. Frequency-2X yearly

    2) a cranky emo rant-I am annoyed by something around me and I feel a bit bitchy. I may get a bit petty and annoyed and may be bitchy towards another stupidly and undeservedly. Frequency-weekly to monthly

    3) a sobbing emo spew-You have done something that feels very hurtful and you wont stop, even though I ask you to, thus I vomit out pain filled emotions at you in an effort to make you feel my pain. Frequency-only a few times in my life.

    4) The insanely, hateful emo driven, but cold and viscous, slash and burn to another person's soul rant-In that moment I want you to make you cry. It is out for blood. The goal-who the fuck knows. Frequency-once in a lifetime, LOL.

    These are all somewhat defensive in nature and seem to progress pretty slowly, but are emo leaky.

    On the more rational, but value driven side, with longer term, well considered impacts in mind:

    1) an idealistic, emo Fi tirade for what is right and true-I wouldnt say it if I didnt think it was legit. Frequency-a few times a year, typically via text or to other people I work with on issues I feel impact a large number of folks around us. Haha, in the past it involved emails to VPs. My emails are legendary.

    2) The Te not-to-do list This seems to be what Esoteric was talking about. In this case you have crossed a boundary and you need to have a very clear understanding of what it was. I still care for you though.

    3) The dispassionate analytical critique of dissection. I find I use this one more and more as I age, as I dont really like expending the energy to get hurt about assholes. I could get upset, I could let them effect me, but mostly i ignore them. A doorslam sort of ignore. If they really bug me, I just start look through them, start meticulously dismantling them and sorting through the pieces and parts of their psyche. It is very distinctly NeTe but hyperfocused on finding holes and gaps in the person-it is still Fi driven, but Fi has totally left the scene of the dismemberment. I dont like myself when I feel this way, so I try to just ignore them as this method makes me feel gross inside. There is no emotion, just a cold sense of focused analysis.It is objectification of another person. If I externalize this on you, you have really crossed a large number of boundaries... We see things all the time that we never talk about-unless pushed.

  5. #75
    Senior Member Lily flower's Avatar
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    I think the reason it hurts so much is that ENFP's are so good at understanding people and their unconscious stuff, so when they go for the kill it goes right to the part that hurts.

    I had an ENFP try that on me once. I deflected it right back, and it ended our friendship. I think she wasn't used to someone who could do the same thing that she could. I refused to have friendships with ENFP's for about 7 years after that, but I now have an ENFP friend with a few added boundaries.

  6. #76
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    I love how a lot of people under estimate the ENFP te bitch slap.

    I got into a fight with my buddy once about leaving food out in my dorm. He wasn't my room mate but he'd leave food out on my coffee table and in my OCD manor I would go and clean it up.

    Well the second time this happened, I threw out some sauces he wanted to keep. This pissed him off royally.
    We ended up getting into a argument about why he shouldn't leave food that he wants to keep out in MY room. The argument ended up escalating to him saying, "I want to fcuking deck the living $hit out of you!!!"

    And I responded with, "Oh really? Seriously? You're going to brute your way through this now especially after you have a bench warrant for your arrest?"
    He had a warrant out for his arrest at the time because of some altercation he wasn't involved in, but when we're angry we're angry.

  7. #77
    Habitual Fi LineStepper JocktheMotie's Avatar
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    Yeah, I bet he never recovered from that.



  8. #78
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    Quote Originally Posted by JocktheMotie View Post
    Yeah, I bet he never recovered from that.
    I wish I recorded it because he was really afraid of getting arrested. The look on his face was nuts, all of the color drained out of his face.

    Another Te bitch slap example I have was with my uncle.

    I also had my uncle call me disingenuous and saying that my pleasant and casual demeanor would cost me jobs and opportunities.

    He was a founding partner for a very large private equity firm. Egotistical entj is the best way I'd describe him.

    Contrary to what he said, I told him that all of my professional relationships are very good and that nearly everyone of the people that I work with respect and like me and that he's my uncle not a businessman that I have to suck up to.

    He disagreed and the argument ensued. I ended up saying to him, "Well, when I talk to people I try to see what I can learn from them and understand their needs whereas you try and see what you can get from them. Maybe if you learned how to be a bit more sensitive you wouldn't have had your first marriage of 22 years end because you're ex wife was critically depressed."

    The conversation ended with him looking down to the floor. It's nice making a really weathly jerk off critically think about his actions.

    The Te bitch slap isn't nice. It leaves people distraught in a way that makes me sick to my stomach.

  9. #79
    Diving into Ni-space Crescent Fresh's Avatar
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    He disagreed and the argument ensued. I ended up saying to him, "Well, when I talk to people I try to see what I can learn from them and understand their needs whereas you try and see what you can get from them. Maybe if you learned how to be a bit more sensitive you wouldn't have had your first marriage of 22 years end because you're ex wife was critically depressed."
    I feel sorry for your uncle.

  10. #80
    Senior Member sculpting's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by frenchie View Post
    He disagreed and the argument ensued. I ended up saying to him, "Well, when I talk to people I try to see what I can learn from them and understand their needs whereas you try and see what you can get from them. Maybe if you learned how to be a bit more sensitive you wouldn't have had your first marriage of 22 years end because you're ex wife was critically depressed."

    The conversation ended with him looking down to the floor. It's nice making a really weathly jerk off critically think about his actions.

    The Te bitch slap isn't nice. It leaves people distraught in a way that makes me sick to my stomach.
    That's actually a really good example...it isnt nice, but it also isnt the norm either for enfps to go for another's guts- unless repeatedly pushed-and then you just turn the truth about them back upon them. And, I totally recognize that yucky feeling. In this case he was passing a value judgement upon you, and you eventually responded with a symmetrical value judgement about him and highlighted clear actions on his part that justified the judgement.

    To be honest, enfps tolerate so much nastiness from other people and dont stand up or defend themselves, as we are bound via visceral Fi to "be nice". But if you hit someone hard enough and often enough, they eventually hit back.

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