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  1. #21
    Diving into Ni-space Crescent Fresh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jenaphor View Post
    ENFP men make good friends. I have a couple in real life. But it's true they get too aggressive when attempting to assert their masculinity. It comes across as disingenuous since they use emotional manipulation to do so. For some reason the song "one of these things is not like the other", comes to mind.
    That's what I mean. When they try to act 'rough,' it's kind of unnatural to me as I can easily pick up on that. And usually when they're acting emotional during a conflict. One of an ENFP male actually have to tell me over IM that he's so upset that he's crying now. I felt there's a huge potential for them to dramatize to a point that I immediately felt being manipulated. That's the only complain I have with ENFP males and it does have a huge affect to lessen their masculinity through such emotional trip.

  2. #22
    Diving into Ni-space Crescent Fresh's Avatar
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    I will get back to other post as there are some interesting points which I would like to address.


    Btw, I am still wondering what's the biggest difference between INFJ and INFP males? Because I don't think I've met any INFP male yet.

  3. #23
    Freaking Ratchet Rail Tracer's Avatar
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    I didn't much resent my feminine side.

    In a way, it was much more like I hid my feminine side. However, I don't think I've acted "rough and tough" to hide it nor did I act "rough and tough" to seem more masculine. How I hid it was more like this kind of complacent attitude. Being calm, cool, and collected, it was like a little boy preventing himself from crying because crying was only for girls.

    In theory, they call what I am doing a preventive measure. Show less of your feminine side, and you wouldn't need to show more of your masculine side. As opposed to the other theory, it compensates for more of the feminine qualities by counteracting it with more masculine qualities.

    I still have issues with showing my feminine side, but it has become softer with time.

    Quote Originally Posted by Crescent Fresh View Post
    When it comes to INFJ male, I felt they are more reserved and shy. They also seem to be quite uncomfortable in a large group setting, always seem to be a little too quiet. One-on-one is an entirely different story.
    I think this might be a glimpse of it.

  4. #24
    Member Matt_s's Avatar
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    I don't think I came in touch with my masculinity until I gave up on being masculine. I was never really good at it. It wasn't fear so much as disgust at all the macho posturing I encountered in my daily life. Excessively firm handshakes, etc. It always seemed stupid to me. I felt like there was something wrong with me for a long time. Humor got me through it. I got decent at ball busting and backslapping in the military but always felt disingenuous in these dealings. I eventually decided I'm mincing and a bit strange and to live my life accordingly.

    In brief I'd equate confident agency with masculinity. Once I accepted the fact that I'll never smash a beer can on my forehead I was able to evaluate myself as a man more objectively. I'll still have no part in pissing contests, but I live in less fear and am more open in sharing my ideas for solutions. I take more initiative. I'm as soft-spoken as usual but I like to think I've gone from Edward Scissorhands to Clint Eastwood. Of course I could be completely delusional.

  5. #25
    Analytical Dreamer Coriolis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Matt_s View Post
    In brief I'd equate confident agency with masculinity. Once I accepted the fact that I'll never smash a beer can on my forehead I was able to evaluate myself as a man more objectively. I'll still have no part in pissing contests, but I live in less fear and am more open in sharing my ideas for solutions. I take more initiative. I'm as soft-spoken as usual but I like to think I've gone from Edward Scissorhands to Clint Eastwood. Of course I could be completely delusional.
    I would equate this more with TJ, or even FJ in certain contexts. Much of what we attribute to masculine/feminine differences are really type differences. Masculine and feminine are universal constants, but as people have already pointed out, everyone has some of each, just as right handed people still use their left hand, etc.
    I've been called a criminal, a terrorist, and a threat to the known universe. But everything you were told is a lie. The truth is, they've taken our freedom, our home, and our future. The time has come for all humanity to take a stand...

  6. #26
    Senior Member Eckhart's Avatar
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    I might have been overcompensating masculinity in parts of my life maybe. I was rather easy to hurt when I was a child and overall physically rather weak, and it was difficult to get along like that at secondary school. At some points I put on a facade of arrogance and indifference, and pretending to be rather unemotional. I tried to make myself look more masculine or older with facial hair (I always had and still have a rather boyish look). Of course at least some people could see through it rather easily, at least after some time.

    I gave up on most of that. I noticed that while it helped with some problems I had before that, it caused a whole lot of new problems which are even more damaging for me. Now I try to be more like myself, more natural and not to care too much about other peoples impressions. However it probably had impact on how my personality shaped in the end, because it is still difficult for me to be less distanced often.

  7. #27
    Certified Sausage Smoker Elfboy's Avatar
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    as corny as it sounds, I think Yugi from Yugioh is an exaggerated look into the psyche of an NFP male
    side 1: feminine, harmony seeking, artistic, caring, cherishes friends
    side 2: masculine, dramatic, strong leader, charismatic, protective
    for me at least, balancing these 2 very different sides has been fairly challenging
    ENFP: We put the Fi in Fire
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  8. #28

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    Appearance should be factored into people's perceptions because accurate or not they play a huge part. Testosterone does wonders to morph the facade of what most consider feminine attributes. My INFP ex was a big guy, not just heavy, but large (think linebacker) with a superhero jawline and Grizzly Adam's beard. I knew he was a giant teddy, but he definitely looked like a man's man. He was a quiet guy and most women (and men) chalked him up to the strong, silent type on account of his general unflappability and even-keeled responses in stressful scenarios.

    ...Of course he would freak out on the inside and vent to me privately, but they never knew that.
    "The purpose of life is to be defeated by greater and greater things." - Rainer Maria Rilke

  9. #29
    Uniqueorn William K's Avatar
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    I'd think that INFP males would just shrug things off that they don't fit the masculine image either by
    1) Thinking that others will not understand them anyway
    2) Stubbornly say "This is who I am. Take it or leave it"
    3) Having enough confidence and self-assurance to do whatever they want to do or be whoever they want to be

    Personally speaking, being physically slight certainly didn't help when I was in school. I'm much more content now with my pastel-coloured shirts and soft toy collection
    4w5, Fi>Ne>Ti>Si>Ni>Fe>Te>Se, sp > so > sx

    appreciates being appreciated, conflicted over conflicts, afraid of being afraid, bad at being bad, predictably unpredictable, consistently inconsistent, remarkably unremarkable...

    I may not agree with what you are feeling, but I will defend to death your right to have a good cry over it

    The whole problem with the world is that fools & fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts. ~ Bertrand Russell

  10. #30
    Senior Member SRT's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Crescent Fresh View Post
    I will get back to other post as there are some interesting points which I would like to address.


    Btw, I am still wondering what's the biggest difference between INFJ and INFP males? Because I don't think I've met any INFP male yet.
    Outwardly? Probably just a general complacency towards change/chaos. I believe male INFJs would be less excited, and less accepting, of the unexpected. Inwardly is a different story, but trying to distinguish between them by how they act is pretty difficult.
    Everything that I express is simply an opinion with varying levels of support

    If I seem like a different type to you, I hereby give you permission to type me however you want.

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