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  1. #1
    Senior Member 2XtremeENFP's Avatar
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    Default ENFP Wedding Party/Planning Dilemma's

    Whew. Any ENFPs out there have advice for planning a wedding? I already am foreseeing so many problems/stress and just wanted a place where some people (YOU GUYS! ) could help me work on myself and deal with other personalities during this adventure.

    I am marrying an ISTJ. He is great, been together for like 7 years, so I understand him for the most part, haha, but I still know where our weaknesses are...but that's not my main concern.

    So, let's do some predictions, shall we?

    How do you foresee the planning stages of a wedding with these people involved....

    Bride (me): ENFP
    Groom: ISTJ

    Mother-of-the-Bride: ESFJ
    Mother-of-the-Groom: ISxJ
    Father of the Bride: ENTJ
    Father of the Groom: ISTJ

    Maid of Honor: ESxP
    Best Man: ISTJ
    Bridesmaids: ESFJ, ESFP, ESxP (maid of honor), ISFP, INFJ (note: she is very jealous of my friendships with everyone)
    Groomsmen: INTP, ISTJ(best man), INTJ, ESTP, & some dude I dont know...

    So, who wants to predict what could go wrong, where the stressors may lie, what I can do to prevent problems... any advice really

  2. #2
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    i think the istjs will want to make sure everything remains cost efficient and not too grandiose and you will be trying to make your esfj mother get that you actually want to plan it...while giving in a lot more than you'd like so she doesn't get her feelings hurt.

    congrats btw!
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  3. #3
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    I second what Lady X said.

  4. #4
    Senior Member 2XtremeENFP's Avatar
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    Thanks

    and Lady X, i definitely can see the ISTJs already looking as cost efficiency. What's hard to explain to them is that I come from a big Italian wedding, so everything needs to be exaggerated, not really because I want it to be , but rather because my ESFJ mom does. I think my biggest struggle is going to be dealing with her Fe because I could careless what people think, unless it involves my Fi.

    For example, my preference for colors/themes/styles of things all reflect my Fi--who I think I am, how I want others to see me, and they directly conflict with what my ESFJ mom thinks is appropriate. So I am trying to word her that I need things to scream "ME", not something that everyone else always does.

    Blaahhh lol

  5. #5
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Try to focus you moms attention elsewhere. She's ESFJ, she's bound to be good at organizing, doing the details and keeping everyone's schedule in check. If you give her tasks she's most skilled at and make her feel useful, it will allow you to be capable of being genuinely appreciative of her help, while making you the creative mind behind the whole endeavor and her executive director. Use her and your own strenghts, and balance out your weaknesses with each others strenghts, instead of fighting each other with them

    I know...easier said than done. Time to dig up those diplomacy and delegation skills

    Let's see...let your INFJ friend be you confidante throug hthis all (you're bound to get stressed). She'll be more than happy to be that special someone to vent to and help you out with advice, and ask her for small bits of help, like picking up your dress. Get your ESxP bridesmaides to cater the fun at your bachelorette party, have the ESFJ be in charge of logistics and pulling it together, and get the ISFP to add a personal touch to it.

    Sit down with your man, and use his considerable organization skills to work out the budget and form almost a 'business' plan, as well as keep him in the loop on how things are going (rant at your bridesmaids about the colours, use him as a sounding board to keep the project on track), so he can keep your feet on the ground with his down-to-earth personality. Their Te is awesome at helping us bring our dreams to life (ours tends to go in uberbitch/stress mode when put under that much pressure).

    Take you ESFP and ISFP friends with you to choose colours and your weddingdress and god knows what else, take the ESFJs with for the traditional cake tasting and wedding dress fitting, as well as when you need to take care of the details of the location etc.

    As for the guys, usually all they are required to do is show up and organize the bachelor party, which I'm sure they can manage. Since many of them are T's though, if you're ever in a pinch and cannot see your way clear of whatever problem is in front of you, all of them are quite capable of breaking it down and solving it for you. Just make sure to thank them afterwards

    This was fun, it's kinda like those games where you hypothetically start a company and have to fill out positions based on MBTI type
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





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  6. #6
    Anew Leaf
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    Simple solution: Elope.

  7. #7
    Senior Member 2XtremeENFP's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Saturned View Post
    Simple solution: Elope.


    You'd think. But again, coming from an Italian family, you don't do that. That would KILL my ESFJ mother. She wants to impress her friends and "show off" me and my fiancé. I'd be taking that away from her.

    I'd thought about eloping. My ISTJ is down for it my i don't think I could do that to my mother/my family.

  8. #8
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    you'll get through it but remember that it's about you and your husband to be...it is not about your mothers daughter's wedding...know what i mean? maybe you two want some of the same things and that will be enough to make her happy...but as an enfp myself i could see just letting her have her way a lot since it seems to matter so much more to her...but then later possibly regretting it....so i would work out the big picture with your fiance and ask for your mothers help with implementing your plan.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

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