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  1. #21
    Emperor/Dictator kyuuei's Avatar
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    The closer something hits to home, the more I am affected by it.. Someone I know passing away hurts much more than a group of people dying elsewhere. It's not that I don't feel for them--I'm sure it hurts.. but I don't have that much heart for the world. I just can't.. It isn't feasible for me to be happy and live my life in a happy way while trying to feel for everyone who has tragedy--I'd be crying all day.

    Some things do anger me though--People's lack of respect for a tragedy makes me angry. I am respectful about things. I was sad to see the tsunami hit Japan, and I felt for the struggle the people would have to endure to rebuild--but I didn't dwell on it long. Though, it irritated the shit out of me when someone made a joke about it. I don't like it when people spend times of respect to be disrespectful. You can see another example in that Amy Winehouse thread.
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  2. #22
    Lay the coin on my tongue SilkRoad's Avatar
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    I think it is 100% normal to be affected more by a personal tragedy (ie. one person close to you dying) than by a larger tragedy farther away with people you don't know. Certainly applies to me.

    I don't get disrespect for tragedy either. I know jokes are supposed to be one coping mechanism. But just outright disrespect for its own sake, why? Why not at least respect the fact that some people are legitimately grieving this tragedy? Some people always seem to have to make a point or something. I just loved (er, not...) how some non-Americans were like "I don't know why the Americans made such a big deal of 9/11. What a bunch of patriotic crybabies. When there are millions of people dying of other causes every day." I just think...yeah, wait till your country is hit by a terrorist atrocity or you lose someone by mass murder. Then see how you like it when I call you a whiner and a crybaby.
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  3. #23
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    I do not think NFs have a monopoly on world compassion. Mother Theresa was ISFJ, Princess Diana may have been ISFP. I know SJs who won't stop talking about 9/11 ten years after it happened, and these are people who lost no relatives or friends there.

    I reached a point where I think there has to a balance between compassion and allowing yourself to feel overwhelmed by the suffering in the world, because sitting in your bed crying about tragedies isn't helping anyone, it isn't doing anything to prevent it from happening again.

    Do you see what I'm saying? It's important to have compassion, never lose it, but I think there's a possibility that people suffering from depression or other issues may project their own feelings or grief on to world tragedies or celebrity deaths, and they're really not able to stop crying because they've got a pre-existing issue (not necessarily chemical, but something as simple as still grieving over the death of a loved one) that they're venting those feelings through the tragedy.

    If it truly hurts you that much, and it's not just depression or whatever, then do something about it.

  4. #24
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    Well, the OP did state in her opening sentance that "This isn't necessarily an NF-specific topic, so I'd certainly like to hear any comments. I think it's probably something we're especially prone to though."

  5. #25
    Lay the coin on my tongue SilkRoad's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marmie Dearest View Post
    Do you see what I'm saying? It's important to have compassion, never lose it, but I think there's a possibility that people suffering from depression or other issues may project their own feelings or grief on to world tragedies or celebrity deaths, and they're really not able to stop crying because they've got a pre-existing issue (not necessarily chemical, but something as simple as still grieving over the death of a lvoed one) that they're venting those feelings through the tragedy.
    Yeah...definitely! A lot of people picked up on that with the death of Diana, that people were grieving in this very public way for someone they didn't know, partly to exorcise something from themselves. In my case, I can be more or less affected by tragic news depending on how I'm feeling in generally (emotionally, physically etc). There are days when the "average" bad news of the world doesn't affect me that much, other days when it feels like it could tip me over the edge into a really depressed state. However, there are certain kinds of stories where I will always be hugely affected.

    In my case, I'd prefer to maintain that sense of compassion and even horror at tragedies and suffering, but I think I probably feel it too hard sometimes; as some people have pointed out, it's certainly not useful or necessary if it goes too far. I feel other things too hard as well (interpersonal difficulties and disappointments), so I suppose I probably qualify as somewhat emotionally hypersensitive. (Frankly, I'd rather have a bit of a chemical imbalance than just be someone who consistently deals poorly with emotional issues.)

    Some self-protection is good too, like my parents have pointed out. Be aware of what's going on, weep with those who weep, do something practical if you can, but don't immerse yourself in it. I don't feel any attachment to or desire for difficult and painful emotions, or a desire to wallow in them - but they tend to overwhelm me anyway. So I can lower my exposure to some of these things somewhat.

    And I definitely don't think NFs have the monopoly. I have a friend who is either ISFJ, or ISTJ but quite an "F" ISTJ - she tells me she tends to cry over these things too.
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  6. #26
    Senior Member Santosha's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marmie Dearest View Post
    Do you see what I'm saying? It's important to have compassion, never lose it, but I think there's a possibility that people suffering from depression or other issues may project their own feelings or grief on to world tragedies or celebrity deaths, and they're really not able to stop crying because they've got a pre-existing issue (not necessarily chemical, but something as simple as still grieving over the death of a loved one) that they're venting those feelings through the tragedy.
    I whole-heartedly agree with the bolded. AND agree that compassion isn't exclusive to anytype.
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  7. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by SilkRoad View Post
    Yeah...definitely! A lot of people picked up on that with the death of Diana, that people were grieving in this very public way for someone they didn't know, partly to exorcise something from themselves. In my case, I can be more or less affected by tragic news depending on how I'm feeling in generally (emotionally, physically etc). There are days when the "average" bad news of the world doesn't affect me that much, other days when it feels like it could tip me over the edge into a really depressed state.

    In my case, I'd prefer to maintain that sense of compassion and even horror at tragedies and suffering, but I think I probably feel it too hard sometimes; as some people have pointed out, it's certainly not useful or necessary if it goes too far. I feel other things too hard as well (interpersonal difficulties and disappointments), so I suppose I probably qualify as somewhat emotionally hypersensitive.

    Some self-protection is good too, like my parents have pointed out. Be aware of what's going on, weep with those who weep, do something practical if you can, but don't immerse yourself in it. I don't feel any attachment to or desire for difficult and painful emotions, or a desire to wallow in them - but they tend to overwhelm me anyway. So I can lower my exposure to some of these things somewhat.
    I think it can be symbolic, too. I think sometimes people grieve a figure for what they represent, like someone like Mother Theresa or Princess Diana or Martin Luther King, Jr. represent doing good for mankind, so people could also be grieving over their deaths in a way that's more related to grieving that that person is no longer there to do those good works, like a light went out in a dark world.

    I do think not being able to stop crying or not being able to cope with world events may be a symptom of something else...not necessarily even wrong with the individual, but just that they're dwelling far too much on the negatives in the world (our current media tends to bombard us with an utterly unnatural amount of sensationalist tragedy) and maybe seriously should stop watching the news so much. I'm not suggesting becoming uninformed, but I think human beings weren't necessarily equipped to deal with bombardment of tragedy every day on their television and newspaper and Internet, especially in a sensationalist manner, and in every corner of the world. The world is no worse than it's ever been, it's just that we're smothered in an excess of information, and information that is not necessarily presented in the most neutral or objective manner.

    But yes people experiencing grief, depression, or even OCD can replay terrible events in their heads over and over again, and it really has nothing to do with the event itself.

  8. #28
    4x9 cascadeco's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marmie Dearest View Post
    but I think human beings weren't necessarily equipped to deal with bombardment of tragedy every day on their television and newspaper and Internet, especially in a sensationalist manner, and in every corner of the world. The world is no worse than it's ever been, it's just that we're smothered in an excess of information, and information that is not necessarily presented in the most neutral or objective manner.
    Absolutely agree with this.
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  9. #29
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    I remember a thread some time ago where an NT asked NFs (to paraphrase), "What's the point of caring about something you really have no power to change?". That is far too literal though. When I am affected, when I care, it alerts to me the idea that something in general is wrong. It refines my view of what is good/bad and what to strive for & what to avoid. It's not about the specific tragedy, it's about what it stands for, what it implies about the world & humanity.

    I'm not one to get emotional about news events, and I even avoid the news because it feels alarmist a lot of the time. However, the things I am exposed to do build up in my mind. I form an impression of the whole state of life, the world, the people, and it will weigh on me a bit. It can be a bit anxiety inducing, but more often than not it is actually motivating. It keeps my priorities straight. And I don't mean I suddenly appreciate the food I eat because people in Africa are starving; again, it's not that simplistic.

    I do remember watching a documentary in HS about female genital mutilation ("circumcision") & about how women in the middle east are often blamed & shamed for being raped, etc. That struck me. It's because I wasn't really aware of such things, not that vividly. It didn't bring me to tears, but I felt the weight of it and it became a part of my view of the world. It's like making a big collage over time & every now & then you step back & see it as a whole, and it gives you a whole vibe. That whole vibe can hit you at once, giving you a sudden & clearer perspective as you see how it connects & overlaps.
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  10. #30
    Lay the coin on my tongue SilkRoad's Avatar
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    I think the world is worse than it's been, but that's another topic.

    I do agree that the proliferation of information and the fact that we're constantly bombarded (and that the media manipulates us, or tries, in a positively Brave New World/1984 manner) is overwhelming and unnatural, and makes things worse - like I mentioned at the start of the thread.
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