[INFP] ENTP chick with serious question about INFP boyfriend

[Domino]

As an ENTP chick, I have a very real awareness of just how non-feminine I can be. (For those of you who don't have this problem, whoopdie-do, this isn't about you.)

Sure, sure, I love make-up (it brings out some creativity), and sure, sure, i love lingerie and pretty bras and panties, but when it comes to the stereotypical 'femaleness', i find myself lacking. it's extremely hard to explain as... well, all i can do is ask that you use what you already know regarding the differences between T and F women. I'm sure, if you've been on this site for any length of time, you've already noticed that there definitely is one.

My question is this: what the hell is wrong with my INFP boyfriend that he PREFERS this over the NF counterpart? it makes no sense to me. If anyone has any idea, i'd appreciate the insight.

Also, i'm very aware that i should just relax and enjoy it, and i do, i do, but... i'm also an analyzer. i can't help that. And, it bugs me that i can't figure this out. it bothers me that i can't just totally relax and assume 'this' will always be prefered.

i humbly defer to the much more qualified.

You're so hot, he probably just wants to vomit all over your pretty hair!! That's what I would do, you slammin' vixen! *grabby nasty hands*

Trust me. It will always be preferred. He likes what you got, mama.

 

[skylights]

you're welcome, for the thoughts thank you for being a lovely calm NTP.

that's terrifying.

is this going to be one of those things where i'm screwing up, but don't know because no one is saying, and then WHAM, it's over? you can tell me.

i think it would be very rare for an NFP to permanently do that to someone they have deep feelings for without prior indication and with no opportunity for reconciliation after.

more likely is that happening after many of the same negative repeating patterns.

 

[Udog]

First, I'm glad to hear you found an INFP and are happy! You are a lucky girl to have snagged yourself an INFP male. He is a very lucky guy.

My question is this: what the hell is wrong with my INFP boyfriend that he PREFERS this over the NF counterpart? it makes no sense to me. If anyone has any idea, i'd appreciate the insight.

Also, i'm very aware that i should just relax and enjoy it, and i do, i do, but... i'm also an analyzer. i can't help that. And, it bugs me that i can't figure this out. it bothers me that i can't just totally relax and assume 'this' will always be prefered.

So, since you don't understand it, you have no confidence that his preference for you will last?

First, disclaimer: I've never been romantically involved with an ENTP female. So what I say is based off of friendships, albiet very close ones, and a crush I had back in college. *takes a moment to wistfully reminisce*

What I can say is that what I appreciate about the ENTP females in my life is very fundamental in nature. They aren't the type of things I'd suddenly decide I no longer appreciate. At least, assuming I don't suddenly become a dumbass.

here it is, the additional question. can someone define the phrase, 'balance each other out'? i can intuitively get it, but can't grasp it like i want to. like i need to right now.

Complement each other in both meaningful (Fi) and practical (Si) ways. There are a lot of ways this can be done. INFP-ENTP balance is one specific flavor.

he never looks like his innards are chaotic. either there's a lot going on that i know nothing about, or you're right? or, both possibly...

Oh, the nature of being an Fi dom involves a lot going underneath the surface. In one of the official tests I took, the INFP motto was "Still waters run deep."

Wait, crap. Did I just set your Ne off? Sorry!

is this going to be one of those things where i'm screwing up, but don't know because no one is saying, and then WHAM, it's over? you can tell me.

Honestly... I'd say that's a possibility with INFPs, especially with the males. BUT, from what I've read in this thread, I find it to be unlikely. You seem to have a good read on him, and he's likely learned by now that you won't punish him for honesty (and if you are like other ENTPs I know, want that honesty).

I remember thinking awhile ago that you'd make a good match for the right INFP. From what I've read from this thread, you are proving my suspicion correct.

 

[iwakar]

Objective perspective and the constancy it provides (or even detachment if you will) is a point of security for someone like me because it can become my "go to" resource when the emotional whirlwind of my life experience is unraveling faster than I can stabilize myself. It isn't that I can't be rational or that I can't detach, step back, and do a 360 around my own problems, but I'm much slower at it and I miss things because it isn't my strength. For you guys, it clearly is a strength.

 

[flameskull95]

As an ENTP chick, I have a very real awareness of just how non-feminine I can be. (For those of you who don't have this problem, whoopdie-do, this isn't about you.)

Sure, sure, I love make-up (it brings out some creativity), and sure, sure, i love lingerie and pretty bras and panties, but when it comes to the stereotypical 'femaleness', i find myself lacking. it's extremely hard to explain as... well, all i can do is ask that you use what you already know regarding the differences between T and F women. I'm sure, if you've been on this site for any length of time, you've already noticed that there definitely is one.

My question is this: what the hell is wrong with my INFP boyfriend that he PREFERS this over the NF counterpart? it makes no sense to me. If anyone has any idea, i'd appreciate the insight.

Also, i'm very aware that i should just relax and enjoy it, and i do, i do, but... i'm also an analyzer. i can't help that. And, it bugs me that i can't figure this out. it bothers me that i can't just totally relax and assume 'this' will always be prefered.

i humbly defer to the much more qualified.

Actually I find this really simple. ENTPs are usually males, that's why you can be less feminine than the lot. INFPs are usually females, that's why your boyfriend can be a less masculine from the lot. . No diss. [Feeling types are usually female, and Thinking types are usually males apparently]

Other than that, you both should find that you're both in the middle of thinking and feeling[constant struggle between society's impositions and yourself, something that I can identify with as well] and that may be something that could create a bond because you both can view that as something you both have in common, if you get what I mean.

I'm INFP but I'm inclined to be an INXP personally. But I've started to notice this may be a thing that INFP guys usually have because, of the guy standards of society,- an INFP can be pressured into a 'T'. And it's perfectly rational because INFPs and INTPs have the same functions in different order, so an INXP is totally possible.

But other than that, INFPs would either go for someone that can totally understand them[An INFP], or who can be like their rock[Thinking type]. Or somewhere in between both [ESFJ/ENFJ - relationship ideals].

But don't worry about that, INFPs when they say they 'love you' they mean in a soulmate kind of way. And if they prefer their significant other being their rock, it's least likely they'd change for some one else, because they'd view your relationship to be somewhat unique to others and rebellious which INFPs can adore in a way[And it may be like an exercise of freedom/free will, which INFPs value highly, just being with you], because he understands your not like other girls. Anyway, that's all I can guess and estimate.

 

[NegativeZero]

How ideal pairings under MBTI work is based on inverted functions... for example, the ideal match for an INTJ would be an ENTP because..

INTJ ENTP
Ni Ne
Te Ti
Fi Fe
Se Si

Same function, but inverted. If you ask me, the theorizing of romantic interpersonal relationships with typology as a fundamental factor is hogwash. It's interesting to consider and some of it rings true, but I just don't think one should use it as their guiding principal.

 

[flameskull95]

How ideal pairings under MBTI work is based on inverted functions... for example, the ideal match for an INTJ would be an ENTP because..

INTJ ENTP
Ni Ne
Te Ti
Fi Fe
Se Si

Same function, but inverted. If you ask me, the theorizing of romantic interpersonal relationships with typology as a fundamental factor is hogwash. It's interesting to consider and some of it rings true, but I just don't think one should use it as their guiding principal.

Hello fellow INxP.

 

[Adasta]

Here's how I see it:

1. You like girly underwear which only he gets access to. That's enough. Not sure if you know this, but INFPs are generally insatiable so prepare yourself for that! I don't care what other people think of me or any girl I might be with; as long as she's cool with me I'm cool with her. That's the only important thing. I rarely consider what others are thinking.

2. Female T can be hot. I find it very attractive when a woman knows a thing or two about a thing or two, and doesn't just parade around acting like she does. ENTPs are sincere in their desire to master their profession/field of expertise and are usually very knowledgeable about it. Girls that know about "guy stuff" as well strike a special chord in me. I once met a girl who knew loads about football (soccer). I listened to her talk for ages and just asked her opinion on everything to do with football. It was great. INFP men are generally good listeners and are not very arrogant in the traditional; more in a flippant way. I like hearing smart people talk about things they know. It makes me feel like I'm learning something that I would never have considered previously. It helps if the speaker is an attractive lady!

3. ENTPs are dynamic and are good at motivating. INFPs are generally poor at self-motivation. In that sense, an NT can be the "hands" to the NFs "dream". That can be intoxicating.