I was presented with an opportunity to be in the company of someone, an ENTP friend that I used to be extremely tight with, that I had been forced to excise from my life due to their own hideous behavior. I had to deal with the bodies and carnage that their ten-car pile-up caused - not them.
The very prospect of being forced to be in the room with this person caused me to meltdown.
Can I even begin to explain what a titanic effort it took to cut this person off from me? I couldn't just cut down the tree - I had to rip it up by the roots and set it on fire and watch the last embers die out before I walked away. I never wanted to do it - I wavered before taking action due to my love for this person even when I knew logically that it was inevitable.
I wanted them to STOP. Please just STOP and let it go back to the way it was. I had to make you dead to me just to cope with what you did.
My own reaction surprised me. I burst out shouting, then crumbled immediately into stone silence. I stared straight ahead, couldn't speak. I didn't cry, but tears oozed out of my eyes. Sis sat next to me, put her arm around my shoulders. I wish I had her ability to flex, to reopen a closed (nailed-shut) door. She told me to stay out of sight. I folded up on the bed and slept.
I called my ENTJ best friend the next day and told her what happened. She understood on a gut level. If someone drives us to that point, how can they live again - how can we take the sword out of their hearts? I've completely cut someone important off from me maybe 2 or 3 times in my life and it was traumatizing each time.
How do you react to such a scenario?