Hello, this is my first post. I tested for INFJ back in college and it is a topic that interests me every now and then. I looked into this sort of webpage tonight because I am currently concerned with my role in my workplace. I am wondering if my personality type is behind me situation or not. Or is it just a common situation all people are in, without personality type factoring in?
I have grown to realize that I take a sort pride in comradery at work. My two earlier jobs, it was mostly built around us younger people and there was never much that happened to shatter view of this comradery being part of the work place.
But both of my jobs that I've had in my late 20s and early 30s have eventually developed into situations where I realize that "the team" isn't really there. There are stages that seems to take place.
1) I go through my usual shy period for about a month where I get used to people and I come out of my shell.
2) Then about a year goes by where I feel comfortable and appreciated. If co-workers need help, I volunteer to help (if available) and I am happy about it because I know that they'd do the same for me. Even if we all aren't good friends, we at least understand that we have each others backs and all that.
3) Somewhere by the second year I realize that I am being taken advantage of (thats how it feels anyway). I realize that the majority of my co-workers will not volunteer to help me when I need help and they aren't busy.
This all leads to me realizing that me and my co-workers aren't nearly as close as I thought we were. I start replaying various times where I'd talked about my personal life like I was with close friends. All of these sort of things hit my like a bucket of cold water. I feel like such a fool. Like someone hadn't explained the rules to me. We aren't real friends (somtimes there may be an exception of course). Most of these people are just out for themselves and will do what they can to make things easier for themselves (whether it is a day off, leaving early, coming in late, or not having to do a task).
4) Then I go through a period where I close up again. When chit chat moments come up I do a lot of thinking like, "Don't say too much, like you used too, you will just be a fool for keeping this pretense going any longer than it needs to be." I grow concerned that I may fall back into the "lie."
5) Then cycles begin where I warm up, see reality, get cold. But with each cycle the coldness/reality of things stays with me more.
Does this sound familiar to anyone else? Am I just "growing up" in a sense and we all go through this no matter what type of personality we are? Or is this a personality thing that INFJs are more likely to experience?
Sorry if some of this is unclear or I am missing any key points I planned to make, it is getting late and I am sleepy.