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  1. #11
    lab rat extraordinaire CrystalViolet's Avatar
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    I like to have some sort of contact every day, not in the early stages though, because I need time to get used to the idea of the relationship. What I mean by every day, though is a text, or an e-mail, not necessarily full contact. I openly admit I'm quite insecure, so I need a little reassurance, but a small gesture of acknowledgment is all I need, in between seeing them. I've grown past the needing to spend every moment of every day stage, so I need time too. I'm also quite conscious to maintain boundaries, as it is very easy to lose myself in a relationship.
    Currently submerged under an avalanche of books and paper work. I may come back up for air from time to time.
    Real life awaits and she is a demanding mistress.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  2. #12
    meinmeinmein! mmhmm's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Huxley3112 View Post
    ENFP's: How much alone time can you allow before you begin to feel disconnected or unloved?
    i always want more. i'm very, very... smothery.
    the key is not letting the physical absence be
    the determining factor--like i never feel i can't
    talk to him because nothing leads me to believe
    that we're disconnected or that i'm unwanted in
    any way when we do hangout. so alone time,
    doesn't make me feel disconnected.

    plus we both enjoy the anticipation part, in different
    ways, but i love the way it builds, how the cravings
    for touch, for intimacy, layer on until we get to hang
    again--and then...poh! i just burst into confetti.
    every normal man must be tempted, at times,
    to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag,
    and begin slitting throats.
    h.l. mencken

  3. #13
    Senior Member Rebe's Avatar
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    For the past almost two months, I have been with my bf almost every day. It's easy because we just sit around with a group of laid-back people, drink some beer, bull shit around so it doesn't wear me out. I can be with them talking for five, seven hours and it's all fine. For me, I get worn out when I feel that I need to watch myself, need to behave a certain way, if I feel like I have to impress this person or act differently than who I naturally am.

    If I can be completely myself without any sort of pressure, I can spend a large amount of time socializing. But the moment I feel uncomfortable in a group, I can get worn out in just thirty minutes. I am very sociable but only with a specific group of people or person. With my current bf, I don't feel like there is any pressure for me to be someone else. I don't feel that I have to watch what I say or what I do so I can spend a lot of time with him just doing whatever. I do love to socialize and interact with people, share laughs, wonders, conflicts and knowledge. It's just very hard to do with most people.

    I am ... needy ... in relationships. Even with friends, I have to talk to someone every day. With my BF, I need messages, texts, phone calls when we are not hanging out. It's mostly because I'm on "summer vacation" and aside from work, I have nothing else going on. I'm not back in college yet and all my friends are in different states. If I have other things to do, I wouldn't need as much contact, but still a good amount. I'd say for me to be happy, I need to talk with the bf at least every two days, unless he is particularly busy with something. And I'd need to see him at least four or five times a week for several hours. That's what a relationship is, quality time. Otherwise I would just have coffee with co-workers. I like to bond quite fast and not linger in the beginning stages of awkward-ness.

  4. #14
    Certified Sausage Smoker Elfboy's Avatar
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    I need someone who
    - adventurous who is willing to tag along with me, or better yet take me on some of his too
    - comforting and relaxing to be around
    - I can talk to for hours on end and not get bored
    - cares about their appearance and desires to stay sexy
    - most importantly, someone who loves to snuggle
    ENFP: We put the Fi in Fire
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    Papa Bear
    Motivation: Dark Worker
    Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
    Chibi Seme
    MTG Color: black/red
    Male Archtype: King/Lover
    Sunburst!
    "You are a gay version of Gambit" Speed Gavroche
    "I wish that I could be affected by any hate, but I can't, cuz I just get affected by the bank" Chamillionaire

  5. #15
    Certified Sausage Smoker Elfboy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mmhmm View Post
    i always want more. i'm very, very... smothery.
    the key is not letting the physical absence be
    the determining factor--like i never feel i can't
    talk to him because nothing leads me to believe
    that we're disconnected or that i'm unwanted in
    any way when we do hangout. so alone time,
    doesn't make me feel disconnected.

    plus we both enjoy the anticipation part, in different
    ways, but i love the way it builds, how the cravings
    for touch, for intimacy, layer on until we get to hang
    again--and then...poh! i just burst into confetti.
    healthy female 8s are like lionesses. they have high sex drives and crave lots of sexual activity and intimacy. ironically, most men can't handle them or think that they will be less sexual than a more girly partner, but the opposite is the case
    ENFP: We put the Fi in Fire
    ENFP
    5w4>1w9>2w1 Sx/Sp
    SEE-Fi
    Papa Bear
    Motivation: Dark Worker
    Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
    Chibi Seme
    MTG Color: black/red
    Male Archtype: King/Lover
    Sunburst!
    "You are a gay version of Gambit" Speed Gavroche
    "I wish that I could be affected by any hate, but I can't, cuz I just get affected by the bank" Chamillionaire

  6. #16
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mmhmm View Post
    the key is not letting the physical absence be
    the determining factor--like i never feel i can't
    talk to him because nothing leads me to believe
    that we're disconnected or that i'm unwanted in
    any way when we do hangout. so alone time,
    doesn't make me feel disconnected.

    plus we both enjoy the anticipation part, in different
    ways, but i love the way it builds, how the cravings
    for touch, for intimacy, layer on until we get to hang
    again--and then...poh! i just burst into confetti.
    yeah... this. what a cute emoticon

    when i know i'm totally supported then alone time is fine because i still feel like they're with me wherever i am. and the space just ignites the fire more and more... all the thoughts and feelings and needs and wants add up.

    that said... i've never felt smothered before. not when i really liked someone. so i have no idea what my upper limit is. usually i just adjust to their need for space.

  7. #17
    Banned
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    I need a lot of space to breathe. Mainly when I'm going through an introverted phase where I drop off the face of the planet. At this time in particular, smothering and demanding my attention will promote me laying down my boundaries staunchly. At other times, I seem to be more lenient with very specific people (usually only a SO or a child) and allow them my space and time even though I might need to recover.

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