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Thread: Why I hate INFs

  1. #81
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    it's never really been proven than when it comes to things like voting and recycling that my part makes a difference.
    ENTP

    make use of that Ti, bucko.

    1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+[...]= a big difference

    methinks you are making excuses because you do not have enough interest to do these things, which is not the INFs' fault. and/or are conflicted, i am definitely too conflicted to vote sometimes. blame Ne for zooming out too far.

    really basically i share your sentiment.

  2. #82
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    I've decided other people's guilt is their problem.

    For example, I don't cuss much. It's not a moral issue so much as I just don't; I am not in the habit, nor do I care to be. In person, such as at a work place, people around me will note that I do not cuss much, & then they will alter their own speech, cussing less. I never made that request nor did I indicate their cussing bothered me in anyway. I'm simply being who I am, and they've decided to assign moral significance to it, take it upon themselves to feel "bad", and then adjust their behavior to follow my "example" so they can feel "good"; but then they resent me for this supposed "guilt" & "higher standard" that they had to make changes to meet. To me, my behavior is triggering standards from their own conscience, not pushing my standards on them. That's what my heavy uses of quotes here is indicating: this is their view of the situation.

    I am not going to lower my standards or alter my behavior that is "good" to make someone else feel better about themselves. And I don't say this in relation to the cussing example (as I don't see it as some big moral issue), but just in general. Their guilt is their problem.


    EDIT: A flipside of this is that people sometimes make me feel like I am too serious or uptight for caring & thinking about certain things & making an effort in regards to them. They are too cool to care, too focused on fun to think deeply, and my caring & thinking just makes me a nerd. I too feel a sense of shame, more along the lines of sheepishness than guilt though. But that's my feeling & my problem. I'm overvaluing their viewpoint, as if "cool" matters more, or I'm assuming they are placing judgment when they are not.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  3. #83
    Member Inverness's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    I've decided other people's guilt is their problem.

    For example, I don't cuss much. It's not a moral issue so much as I just don't; I am not in the habit, nor do I care to be. In person, such as at a work place, people around me will note that I do not cuss much, & then they will alter their own speech, cussing less. I never made that request nor did I indicate their cussing bothered me in anyway. I'm simply being who I am, and they've decided to assign moral significance to it, take it upon themselves to feel "bad", and then adjust their behavior to follow my "example" so they can feel "good"; but then they resent me for this supposed "guilt" & "higher standard" that they had to make changes to meet. To me, my behavior is triggering standards from their own conscience, not pushing my standards on them. .
    X^2

    I have had this come up in conversation a handful of times, and you've put words to it most effectively. In my 'decision' to not curse, I am not attempting to be 'holier than thou' or create such a façade, it's kind of just how I am ... and my internal response seems to mirror your's: sorry, it's not my problem.

  4. #84
    Freaking Ratchet Rail Tracer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    I've decided other people's guilt is their problem.

    For example, I don't cuss much. It's not a moral issue so much as I just don't; I am not in the habit, nor do I care to be. In person, such as at a work place, people around me will note that I do not cuss much, & then they will alter their own speech, cussing less. I never made that request nor did I indicate their cussing bothered me in anyway. I'm simply being who I am, and they've decided to assign moral significance to it, take it upon themselves to feel "bad", and then adjust their behavior to follow my "example" so they can feel "good"; but then they resent me for this supposed "guilt" & "higher standard" that they had to make changes to meet. To me, my behavior is triggering standards from their own conscience, not pushing my standards on them. That's what my heavy uses of quotes here is indicating: this is their view of the situation.

    I am not going to lower my standards or alter my behavior that is "good" to make someone else feel better about themselves. And I don't say this in relation to the cussing example (as I don't see it as some big moral issue), but just in general. Their guilt is their problem.
    For every little gesture that I do, someone else is bound to notice. Both the "good," the "bad," and everything in-between. Every little gesture that I do can be contagious - it can be felt not just by me, but by those around me, even if it is something "simple."

    I don't curse as much as other people do, not because I think I am better than people that do curse, I just don't feel a need to curse. I don't open doors for people behind me just because I think I need to, I do it because...well these people are just a few walks behind me. I don't care if you are a women, a man, or a person that is disable. I don't do things because I feel sorry for people, I do things just because it could very well brighten someone's day even if it was just a little. If it made someone feel bad, it was really unintended for. What I do can sometimes mean other people will begin mirroring it (the "good," the "bad," and everything in-between,) not for my sake, but their own.

    There is more to it than meets the eye in why I act this way (where things begin getting a little personal,) but it is the gist of it.

    I strive for the unofficial name that was given to me as a kid, never approaching it, but getting closer ever-so slightly to it.

  5. #85
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Everybody's talking all this stuff about me
    Why don't they just let me live?
    I don't need permission
    Make my own decisions
    That's my prerogative

    They say I'm moral
    I really don't care
    That's my prerogative
    They say I'm uptight
    but I don't give a damn
    Being good is how I live


    Some ask me questions:
    why am I so real?
    But they don't understand me
    I really don't know the deal
    about these others
    Trying hard to make it right
    When not long ago
    they did not see the point


    sing!


    It's my prerogative

    It's the way that I wanna live
    (It's my prerogative)
    I can do just what I feel
    (It's my prerogative)
    No one can tell me what to do
    (It's my prerogative)
    'Cause what I'm doing...
    I'm doing for you!

    Don't get me wrong
    I'm really not angelic
    Ego trips is not my thing
    All these strange accusations
    Really get me down
    I see nothing wrong in
    recycling the cans I've found


    It's my prerogative
    I can do what I wanna do
    (It's my prerogative)
    I can live my life
    (It's my prerogative)
    And I'm doing it just for you

    Tell me, tell me
    Why can't I live my life?
    Without all of the things
    That people say

    Everybody's talking all this stuff about me
    Why don't they just let me live?
    I don't need permission
    Make my own decisions
    That's my prerogative

    [YOUTUBE="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5cDLZqe735k"]My Prerogative[/YOUTUBE]
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  6. #86
    Warflower Nijntje's Avatar
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    ^^^^^^^^^

    Dear god i love you so hard for this.


    Terrible things happen to good people every day.
    Consequentially, I am not one of the good people.
    I am one of the terrible things.
    .



    Conclusion: Dinosaurs


  7. #87
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Crescent Fresh View Post
    I think both INFJ and INTJ male do this to people they care. But it seems ENFPs usually appreciate more from INTJs rather than INFJs. I wonder if that has to do with the "way" they deliver their messages?

    I've always been curious about this.
    yeah. i think like marm said, it's mostly got to do with the aux Fe clashing with aux Fi. when an INTJ tells me off it usually makes sense... even if it's like, well that's really stupid, do this instead, it doesn't feel pejorative, because he's correcting the impersonal logic, which i feel is quite separate from me. whereas NFJs tend to correct my personal behavior - like how i interact with others - which i feel is very much a part of me, so that feels like my toes being stepped on.

    Quote Originally Posted by Burning Rave View Post
    So some women don't like having to stare at themselves while some do?
    i dated an INFP once, it was like having an elementary school boyfriend. not in the sense that he was immature, but our relationship was. it wasn't tension and fire, it was just like two little kids playing and giggling. which is nice, but... not enough.

    i also dated an ENFP briefly, which was, in retrospect, a terrible idea. (not that i knew a thing about type back then, though.) that our enneatypes were different was the saving grace, but really many of our flaws were so similar that i couldn't handle twice my own issues.

    on the other hand, i tend to loooove ENFJs.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sizzling Berry View Post
    I wonder what ENFP women think about ENFP and ENTP men .
    Quote Originally Posted by Vala Faye View Post
    ENFP men:
    ENTP men:
    yeah basically. i do like ENTPs. they're usually quite attractive. i don't know how the interactions would work out though, i'd be curious to see. i have an ENTP cousin, that's basically how i feel about the type in general. they're "cousins". same family but a little different. i don't know if we'd end up being too "close" for comfort, type-match wise.

  8. #88
    (blankpages) Xenon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jwn86 View Post
    I highly resent this because it's never really been proven than when it comes to things like voting and recycling that my part makes a difference. And yet I think this is the type who would always go the extra mile to separate out your aluminum from your glass.

    You can't complain about INFs because it makes you look like an insensitive a--hole and people gang up on you, yet INFs get free reign to guilt-trip you about menial things which don't really matter.

    INFs themselves don't usually always stick to healthy lifestyles and do not take care of themselves, so a responsible person who takes care of what matters in life (like their health) is guilt-tripped. What's up with this?
    I'm thinking if you truly believed the things these people care about are "menial", then you wouldn't be at all susceptible to feeling guilty about them. If you really think voting and recycling are worthless, then you wouldn't be bothered by people who do consider these activities important. If you really felt that sticking to a healthy lifestyle is "what matters", and that this is far more important than silly old social responsibility or whatever it is that the INF people you know care about, you would take pride in your own choices and values and brush off their objections. The fact that it bothers you enough to start a thread complaining about how they make you feel bad suggests to me that you have your own niggling doubts about your choices.

    And I'm not saying you have to make the same choices they do. I don't always vote, etc. But you can either decide they're right and make more of an effort, or decide it isn't important enough to worry about and...not worry about it.

    Kind of what OrangeAppled was talking about. The guilt is yours. It comes from you. Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent, yada yada yada.

  9. #89
    Senior Member Sizzling Berry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jwn86 View Post
    INFs always make me feel bad about who I am because they are always concerned for people's wellbeing and contributing to the cause of humanity.
    If somebody rubs you the wrong way, why not avoid them?
    Hot-hearted head

  10. #90
    Senior Member Hinastarr's Avatar
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    As I just posted in a thread I created, you are you, and being an ENTP does not mean you can't have humanitarian tendencies or a positive impact on society. Whether or not you are a good person doesn't stem from personality test or the categories they place you in, but rather your own decisions and framework of mind. As an INFP, I can say that, while I do see myself as an understanding and empathic person, I am by no means perfect or one of those "lovable humanitarians" everyone just loves. If anything, my Fi makes me spend too much time reflecting upon my own values and what is impotant for me and how to better improve myself than spend time interconnecting others in the outer world. What you described above, if anything, would better fit an ExFJ stereotype if anything.

    In the end, however, you are your own person, and so you shouldn't envy INFPs or INFJs for all those positive qualities Myers-briggs lists for them. I am pretty sure you have much to offer society yourself, but just have to set your mind to it.

    No one can make you feel inferior or worthless without your consent.

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