-Looking after yourself and your needs first, even with the partial objective of being in good enough shape to help out others
-Cutting people out for emotional self-preservation - not necessarily even the infamous doorslam, but just letting them drift away, sometimes
-Saying "no" more often
Basically good things - although the cutting people out may not necessarily be, and can be particularly tricky (did I walk out on my friend? Am I not a big enough person to get over whatever it is?). And yet, I have such a hard time not second-guessing things, and it makes everything harder than it already is. It exacerbates any bad feelings involved and if it is a situation where someone may actually have done me some wrong, I think it causes me to project onto them and feel more hostility, pain, anger, whatever it may be.
Frankly, I think I am a pretty unselfish person. I have plenty of other flaws, but selfishness isn't a particular problem for me. So I have margin to be more selfish, but still be pretty unselfish, if you know what I mean. And yet I find it hard. A combination of personality, beliefs, upbringing, I guess...
How do you deal with this? Do you often question if you're being selfish, or if you're doing the right thing?