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[Fe] Is Fe fake or manipulative?

jixmixfix

Permabanned
Joined
Jun 21, 2009
Messages
4,278
It can be fake, easily - just find me at work when I'm feeling down >.< Does that mean it's fake when I'm actually feeling the way I express? For a while, it seemed like this was the case, but I think that's because I was depressed despite it being one of my 'better days'.

Can it be manipulative? Depends what you mean by 'manipulative'... I mean, keeping someone in a calm, receptive state so that they aren't closed off to new ideas, that's basic diplomacy but is it manipulation? Is it manipulation to prevent conflicts between abrasive people by keeping everyone happy? Is it manipulation to help someone overcome their depression so that they can be more of a benefit to others in their life - including you?

No but I find dom Fe types to be blatantly fake more so than other types, they smile for the sake of smiling as oppose to actually feeling happy. They also use common polite gestures in awkward negative situations.
 

Lexicon

Temporal Mechanic
Staff member
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Sep 28, 2008
Messages
12,342
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JINX
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5w6
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sp/sx
My Fe is as low as a bum drinking on a friday night.

aw, and everyone knows how misty eyed and sentimental they can get from time to time.
 

skylights

i love
Joined
Jul 6, 2010
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7,756
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so/sx
fake, no ; manipulative, sometimes. but so is Te, and it doesn't even bother trying to cover it up.

If I am manipulating someone on a normal level, it is going to tend to be for the betterment of themselves, opposed to something that I can gain from it. Actually, even my high levels of manipulation tend to be for the betterment of the other person, but they can be very rough tactics that seem selfish in purpose. Sometimes that is because people need an external enemy that is pinpointing the enemy that is themselves. Sometimes it begets more understanding and progress.

my ENFJ friend has said things like this too... the problem to me... is that how are you deciding what is better for me? unless it's something glaringly obvious, like i shouldn't shoot up heroin, it's actually quite selfish of the Fe user to assume that they know what is best for the other.

i mean, and understand that i think sometimes it's really good that Fe users do this. i think ExFJs can do this in a way that helps other people a lot.

but to think that you aren't acting selfishly would be a very big misconception. you guys are following what your F tells you in the very same way that Fi dom/aux follow what feels "true" to us.
 

onemoretime

Dreaming the life
Joined
Jun 29, 2009
Messages
4,455
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3h50
Pseudo-Fe is too exhausting to use all of the time, as an Fi user it would piss you off and make you feel bad to use it too much, because you'd feel inauthentic and want to just snap and say what's really on your mind, because as an Fi user generally you want to "speak your truth" more than you want to keep the peace.

But pseudo-Fe is generally employed in very specific situations or in short intervals for the tactic of getting people to leave you the hell alone.

If you REALLY value harmony over saying exactly what's on your mind, then that's real Fe.

It's about motive. It's motive, motive, motive....attitude, the underlying core reasoning for your ethical behavior.

This is the critical point. If exerting conscious effort to charm others and promote stability makes you feel good, or at least seems "right" (even if it's just in the sense that you feel inferior to others' success with it), Fe is in your first four functions. If it makes you feel fake and manipulative, it's probably not in these functions, but rather in your shadow functions. Likewise, if remaining true to oneself even in the face of overwhelming opposition makes you feel good or seems "right," Fi is in your first four functions. If it seems selfish or nonsensical, it's also in the shadow functions.


The opposite orientation feels nefarious, because it corresponds with a rejected part of your own psyche. Since we tend to project ourselves onto others when young, rather than individuate our egos, we associate someone favoring those rejected functions as somehow deficient or malign, mimicking the process of our own internal rejection of the shadow. In other words, those embracing Fe may see those embracing Fi as selfish and irrational, because they themselves only justify their own actions through Fi when acting selfishly or irrationally. Those embracing Fi may see those embracing Fe as fake or manipulative, because they themselves only tap into the Fe perspective when they intend to act falsely or manipulatively.

The difficulty is in understanding that the other person's motivations do not necessarily align with your own function attitudes, and that these perspectives are just as valid.
 
A

A window to the soul

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Resonance

Energizer Bunny
Joined
May 18, 2010
Messages
740
MBTI Type
INfj
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6w5
No but I find dom Fe types to be blatantly fake more so than other types, they smile for the sake of smiling as oppose to actually feeling happy. They also use common polite gestures in awkward negative situations.

What's wrong with that? :)
 

Rail Tracer

Freaking Ratchet
Joined
Jun 29, 2010
Messages
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sx/so
how is that fake in any way if that's how a person really feels?

Is it fake in anyway for the Fe dom/aux if that is how he/she feels or how he/she thinks he/she should feel even though you perceived that he/she shouldn't be feeling that way?

Is how you feel about a situation should also be how the Fe user feels about a situation?

Should how you perceive a situation be the same as how I perceive a situation?

Should I cry because you think I should cry? What if I think I should be happy instead of crying? Am I being fake because I should cry but am not?
 
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