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  1. #221
    4x9 cascadeco's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sizzling Berry View Post
    And would you try to make a stranger feel good in your company or like you?
    I would be pleasant/respectful to the stranger/acquaintance, and yes, generally I try to be positive. It's up to the stranger whether or not they like me; I'm not trying to forge relationships with everyone I meet. (I tend not to strike up conversations with strangers, though.. I am pretty introverted. )
    "...On and on and on and on he strode, far out over the sands, singing wildly to the sea, crying to greet the advent of the life that had cried to him." - James Joyce

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  2. #222
    Senior Member INTPness's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by onemoretime View Post
    Sorry to hear about your troubles.
    Thanks for your kindness. A great example of genuine Fe showing concern for others. There really are some good attributes of Fe. But, yeah, everything is good. Just observations I made from the inner circle of things. My observations weren't as an outsider.

    Point still stands - to them, I'd guess that outwardly expressing the inner drama would only make things worse. This may not particularly be a healthy approach to one's troubles, but it's not necessarily being "fake."
    We'll have to agree to....................*gasp*................disagr ee. To me, if things are hellish in your life and you say, "I'm wonderful"...that's fake. And to me, when I'm pissed and I tell someone that I'm wonderful...I'm faking the funk. I gotta be real with myself.

    What is truth? All you have are your observations. Indeed, everything we present to others is a masquerade, which is why they called it a persona in the first place.
    I'll tell you what truth is not: Balling your eyes out and talking about hard things are in your life because "everything is going wrong" and then going outside and telling neighbors that everything is good and wonderful. That's not truth.
    NTJ's are the only types that have ever made me feel emo.
    ENP's are the only types that have ever made me feel like a sensor.


    There are two great days in a person's life - the day we are born and the day we discover why. --William Barclay

  3. #223
    Senior Member Sizzling Berry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cascadeco View Post
    I would be pleasant/respectful to the stranger/acquaintance, and yes, generally I try to be positive. It's up to the stranger whether or not they like me; I'm not trying to forge relationships with everyone I meet. (I tend not to strike up conversations with strangers, though.. I am pretty introverted. )
    (And depending on where you are it could be quite dangerous ). How would being positive sound for you? What's going in your head when you are like that?
    Hot-hearted head

  4. #224
    Glycerine
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    Quote Originally Posted by INTPness View Post
    Yeah, you don't have to tell people all the bad stuff. But you also don't have to "act" like your life is this perfect little bubble and everything is just brilliant inside the bubble. That's the part that seems fake to me. Why can't we just say, "Well, some things are good, some things could be better. But, enough about me. How are you doing?" You know, just keeping it real instead of like, "Oh yeah, my husband is brilliant. My kids are probably going to grow up and travel to Mars. The dog won 1st place in the dog show. My car has awesome rims. I'm going back to school to get my Ph.D. while still being a housewife and doing everyone's laundry and fixing dinner every night. Oh, and I still find time to watch Oprah every day." It's like, "Come on! Anyone with 2 eyes knows that things aren't THAT freakin' good in your house. The neighbors hear you fighting. They saw you crying out on the front lawn, they saw your car get reposssessed, etc." Like, why fake the funk?
    uhhh no idea. Those particular people want to live in an illusion to escape the crap in their lives? Avoidance? Defense mechanism?
    Personally, if I am having a shitty day and someone asks me how I am doing, I will typically become happy again just because they asked me and my day usually becomes good so I respond with good. However, I don't go that far too make up stuff. It sounds like there just might be a lot of dysfunction and those people don't know how to deal with it besides making up a fantasy world to make themselves feel better.

  5. #225
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    Quote Originally Posted by iwakar View Post
    Functions are not manipulative, behavior can be manipulative because it is an externally-strategized means to an internally-motivated end.






















    ^
    Nothing about your thread title, initial post, or subsequent replies indicates you were ever open to any opinions other than your own. For me, that ended the thread because it is not a discussion.

    Obviously, other people have more stamina than me. I am irritatingly results-oriented.
    Clearly I'm open to other peoples opinions, look at how much insight this thread has brought forth. Just because I offer a different opinion or point of view? you have made no contributions towards this discussion troll go play with your 7 year old brother it's probably better for you.

  6. #226
    insert random title here Randomnity's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by INTPness View Post
    No, I totally get the point. And privacy wasn't even an issue. Here's my point: Why does the Fe-dom tell their neighbors that everything is brilliant when it's not? Why not give a neutral response instead of a "everything is freakin' awesome" - that, to me, is faking the funk. That's all - I didn't miss the point. I get privacy. I never said people need to tell their neighbors everything. that would be silly. What I'm saying is...don't take it to the other extreme and be like, "Oh yeah, my life is an example of perfection" and rant about how everything is just beautiful when it really isn't.
    In general social norms are to respond positively. If someone asks you how you're doing, you say you're doing well even if you're not, just because that's polite. When someone asks you "how are you?" and you say "I'm okay" that pretty much implies that you're having a horrible day (because you're usually expected to say that things are good, if you can manage it). Bragging is silly though, yes.
    -end of thread-

  7. #227
    Dreaming the life onemoretime's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by INTPness View Post
    No, I totally get the point. And privacy wasn't even an issue. Here's my point: Why does the Fe-dom tell their neighbors that everything is brilliant when it's not?
    Because if those things in your life are brilliant, then maybe your life actually is a little bit better than it feels at the moment, and maybe your troubles aren't so overwhelming.

    Why not give a neutral response instead of a "everything is freakin' awesome" - that, to me, is faking the funk.
    Because a neutral response is a pretty fake thing to give in the first place - hardly anyone does that. A neutral response leaves the other person feeling emotionally unfulfilled. A positive one leaves them potentially with vicarious joy. However, the Fe-dom was in a really rotten place at the time, so most likely didn't consider all the possible responses to this, just the desirable ones.

  8. #228
    Senior Member INTPness's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Randomnity View Post
    In general social norms are to respond positively. If someone asks you how you're doing, you say you're doing well even if you're not, just because that's polite. When someone asks you "how are you?" and you say "I'm okay" that pretty much implies that you're having a horrible day (because you're usually expected to say that things are good, if you can manage it). Bragging is silly though, yes.
    You call it polite. I call it faking the funk. Haha...I'm just playing Randomnity. I think it's good if we end it civilly. I've gotten lots out of the discussion. Learned one thing for sure: Fe-doms and Fe-aux definitely see their Fe in a fairly different light than I see/experience my Fe as an inferior user.
    NTJ's are the only types that have ever made me feel emo.
    ENP's are the only types that have ever made me feel like a sensor.


    There are two great days in a person's life - the day we are born and the day we discover why. --William Barclay

  9. #229
    Dreaming the life onemoretime's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by INTPness View Post
    Thanks for your kindness. A great example of genuine Fe showing concern for others. There really are some good attributes of Fe. But, yeah, everything is good. Just observations I made from the inner circle of things. My observations weren't as an outsider.
    Should have made it more explicit that it was the hypothetical "you."

    We'll have to agree to....................*gasp*................disagr ee. To me, if things are hellish in your life and you say, "I'm wonderful"...that's fake. And to me, when I'm pissed and I tell someone that I'm wonderful...I'm faking the funk. I gotta be real with myself.
    That would be you being fake. It would be quite different to someone else. Objectivity is not all that important, nor particularly useful or informative, when it comes to understanding other human beings. Subjectively, you would be acting "fake." Subjectively, another person would not. Objectively? There is no answer to that question.

    I'll tell you what truth is not: Balling your eyes out and talking about hard things are in your life because "everything is going wrong" and then going outside and telling neighbors that everything is good and wonderful. That's not truth.
    To some people, life inside the home, and life outside of it are two separate spheres. What is true within may not be true without. And who is to say what the truth is?

  10. #230
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    Quote Originally Posted by Resonance View Post
    How does that make any sense at all? Is there some kind of unwritten rule that you're not allowed to help people unless you have no needs of your own?
    There isn't an unwritten rule but I'm trying to show a different way to look at it. I understand that Fe doms are extroverted in their nature and that social harmony and what not are their most important value. There are positives and negatives to Fe.

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