Amazingdatagirl, the new typology (Beebe 8 Processes) calls the auxiliary the good parent. So paternalism, maternalism is an unavoidable consequence. Inklings of a self and development of the self's potential are mysterious: probably both parties are involved. It's not one side dominating the other. There is ongoing listening and sharing. The counseling process, to my mind, is democratic. I intuit a kind of crisp
distinction-making on your part. Am I mistaken?