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  1. #1
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
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    Default Confusing dominant Fe with dominant Te

    Sounds crazy, probably, but it's happened to me twice: once with an ESFJ friend who initially self-typed as ENTJ, and once with an ENFJ friend that I was totally convinced was actually ESTJ. I mistyped them because, discounting that they were both hopeless romantics (which I didn't think was type-related), I related to them a lot. Pretty confusing!

    I think it might be that when Fe-doms aren't particularly nurturing, they come across to me as being just as direct, bossy, up-in-your-business and perfectionistic as Te-doms. It could also be that my F is more developed than I thought...

    So, some questions for Fe doms (ExFJs) and those who know them well: Do you relate at all to Te doms? How do you see your Fe approach as being similar and/or different from the Te approach?

    Thoughts? Ideas?
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  2. #2
    Writing... Tamske's Avatar
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    My Fe is quite Te-ish, because it wants to please a Te-dom...
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  3. #3
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tamske View Post
    My Fe is quite Te-ish, because it wants to please a Te-dom...
    Makes sense. To make communication easier, too? I've found that with my Fe-type friends, we have to meet each other halfway -- they learn some Te, I learn some Fe.

    Aaaaaand... judging from the deafening silence coming from the forum's Fe-dominant population, I'm guessing no one else relates to the OP. Good to know!
    ~ g e t f e s t i v e ! ~


    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
    Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"



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    want to ask me something? go for it!

  4. #4
    You have a choice! 21%'s Avatar
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    I think Fe with something else can manifest itself as pseudo-Te, and I know when I'm not revealing my true emotions I can come across as pretty T-like.

    My mom is ISFJ and she has been nicknamed "the mastermind planner". I think Si + Fe (enneagram 1w2 sp-first) will try to make sure everything is safe and smooth and proper, and to achieve that you require A LOT of planning.

    My ENFJ sis was confused for a little bit in the beginning whether she was F or T because she valued efficiency a lot and Te-related questions mostly talk about efficiency.

    Hmmm... another thing is, perhaps J-ness can be perceived as and mistaken as Te? My INFP bf always call me a "Te master" when I plan stuff
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  5. #5
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    I just thought I didn't qualify to answer because I wasn't a Fe dom. I think my mother (ENFJ) definitely has moments that seem rather Te-ish to those looking on. She's very focussed on practical action, can be quite direct and straight-forward and fairly insistent. Sometimes even when I've disagreed with her or suggested something was too much, she tends to be quite unapologetic and steadfast (likely to trust in her own judgement). On the other hand, she seems tortured by an unreasonable amount of guilt over making things work well for everyone and anything she asks of others, certainly applies to her as well.

    I think Fe can seem practical, no-nonsense, a little judgy and quite direct.

    There are huge parallels that I have observed between how extraverted functions operate and are perceived vs how introverted ones operate and are perceived. It helps me a lot to understand Fi or Te better by comparing them to my natural Ti or Fe responses. Umlauu has been helpful to me in drawing those parallels initially.

    Another EXFJ that I would say helps reinforce this parallel is probably Proteanmix (and I love her to death for it).

  6. #6
    Lay the coin on my tongue SilkRoad's Avatar
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    I'm also not an Fe-dom but I do think I sometimes (not most of the time) come across more ENFJ than INFJ, which would make me a temporary Fe dom. And I could see how this could happen, the confusion between dom Fe and Te. I'm getting more blunt and direct as I age, at least in certain scenarios. I wouldn't say I come across this way on this forum - more of my 6 nervousness, probably. But IRL it can happen.

    While I'm not particularly fond of being cast in a "teacher" sort of role, if someone places me in that position in their life, I can get pretty directive, lecture them, etc. Not many people place me in that position, however. And in the back of my mind I tend to be having these thoughts about removing the rafter from my own eye before pointing out and removing the speck of dust from someone else's.
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  7. #7
    Writing... Tamske's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 21% View Post
    Hmmm... another thing is, perhaps J-ness can be perceived as and mistaken as Te? My INFP bf always call me a "Te master" when I plan stuff
    I think you're hitting the mark here. Fe and Te have one thing in common: they belong to Judgers. They make you planning, efficient...
    My ENFJ mom, my ESFJ mother-in-law and my ESTJ husband would organise a party in the same way: make sure everyone has got enough food and drinks, make sure the guests know what to expect (so THEY can plan accordingly - they wouldn't allow a guest to arrive with a full stomach when there's a meal planned or, worse, arrive with an empty stomach when there's only some coffee)... All three get upset when the guests don't behave as expected, when they are late,...
    The motivation is different, though. Fe reacts on praise or criticism; Te aims for results. But they are closely linked, especially for tasks like organising a party.
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