I'm more of a man-charmer than I am a lady-charmer, which may be why many of my longterm friendships with females have gone sour. The charming can be inherent, but I'll open up more to the men I know to actively maintain it.
I tend to have a good read on people. The only time I question it in relation to myself is because I want a bit of a 'second opinion' or clarity from the actual situation. ENFJs, being bad at turning the focus on themselves, need to learn to take time out and assess external situations in relation to themselves. We need to pick it apart when reflecting to see what resonates with us, but we are bad at it. A good reason that its necessary is to better determine where we stand in conflict, and what we can better fix of ourselves and our interactions to better benefit our drive for external focus.
Are the ENFJs mentioned in the thread bad at dealing with people in situations that are not directly related to them?
I tend to feel as though we are very limelight and behind the curtain at the same time. One side can definitely forget how apparent the other side may be, causing a conflict when we come into the focus of others.