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Thread: Can ENFJ's be super charming and also clueless at the same time?

  1. #11
    Lungs & Lips Locked Array Unkindloving's Avatar
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    Dec 2009


    I'm more of a man-charmer than I am a lady-charmer, which may be why many of my longterm friendships with females have gone sour. The charming can be inherent, but I'll open up more to the men I know to actively maintain it.
    I tend to have a good read on people. The only time I question it in relation to myself is because I want a bit of a 'second opinion' or clarity from the actual situation. ENFJs, being bad at turning the focus on themselves, need to learn to take time out and assess external situations in relation to themselves. We need to pick it apart when reflecting to see what resonates with us, but we are bad at it. A good reason that its necessary is to better determine where we stand in conflict, and what we can better fix of ourselves and our interactions to better benefit our drive for external focus.
    Are the ENFJs mentioned in the thread bad at dealing with people in situations that are not directly related to them?

    I tend to feel as though we are very limelight and behind the curtain at the same time. One side can definitely forget how apparent the other side may be, causing a conflict when we come into the focus of others.
    Quote Originally Posted by uncommonentity View Post
    ENFJ's have teddy bear syndrome. What I mean by that is they put on an invisible teddy bear suit that allows them to do whatever the hell they want because damn who's going to question a teddy bear? They so fluffy, they so loving, they so cute and so on. It's sort of like an automatic defense mechanism they apply before they walk out of their door. When they get caught out they crap themselves and scream 'I'm not human, I'm a teddy bear' and quite alot of people fall for it and actually feel quite guilty for thinking so badly about a teddy bear. They're the king and queens of emotional guilt trips. They're absolutely beautiful.
    From what you observe, do I do the teddy bear? I mean, I'm sure I do, but my use of it feels less squishy and frequent than what you've mentioned. I tend to feel like I show more of the side that isn't compassionate, but definitely become confused when people flee from not seeing the inner-fluff that I don't want to suffocate them or myself with. Also a bit skewed since you don't handle me face-to-face daily basis, but you know I value your long-term opinion
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  2. #12


    I agree with Vaia Faye.I would consider myself mediocre on charm and and above average on "reading people". I am usually suspicious of super charming people. It's like being given a really delicious fried food meal but after you digest it, there remains a coat of grease down your throat. It makes you feel good but you don't know what exactly hit you. Well, pertaining to charm used for an end purpose.

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