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Thread: Therapists

  1. #1
    Senior Member Meek's Avatar
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    Default Therapists

    It has taken me years to find the right one. I finally found one but it's in the northern country, not down south. I have found countless, every single time, that every therapist I've met in the southern regions of the us, have failed me horribly. Interrupting me with bullshit because they're there to get money, to make a living and their diplomas are just a stain on the wall to show how pathetic they are. A reflection of how ugly they are inside.

    It's different here. I love the mentality. The male therapist I see is married to a female therapist at this particular mental health center and they're both very great. He actually brought up the media being a huge part of the problem of why most women are not happy with their bodies, stating that the media says what is beautiful. I almost cried. It was wonderful to experience this and I have immense respect for him.


    I think perhaps maybe once I met only one therapist who dealt with children under the age of 18 and she was lovely. She was a huge hippie and I remember giving her a photo of Jerry Garcia and seeing her hang it on the wall. Other than that, the adult therapists stunk. They looked at me like I was insane most of the time. They didn't listen to me. I want to know what everyone's therapist experience has been like so far. Also, if you are feeling like being pedantic (Which some of you are annoyingly so) Please shut the derp (I'd rather not cuss right now) up and take it else where. I write to express how I feel with everyone and to get feedback, which always warms me up to hear everyone's stories. Nit picking my threads is pitiful and shows that you are extremely stupid. This isn't the debate section. Shanks.
    I have no special talent. I am only passionately curious.-
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    Senior Member Meek's Avatar
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    P.s. We also discussed the two months I was out of work, I did some self observation and realized that I forgot what I wanted my career to be. I narrowed it down with him which would be a paleontologist, or a scientist. We both joked about dissecting cats and how I think it's gross, so he suggested a worm and I cringed and he replied with "Well, you won't be cut out for science then!" lol made me giggle.
    I have no special talent. I am only passionately curious.-
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    Klingon Warrior Princess Patches's Avatar
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    I haven't had a ton of personal experience with therapists, but I do hear a lot of experiences from other people... And I am endlessly frustrated by this trend where doctor's seem to just want to throw medication at everything. Problem? I HAVE PILLS FOR THAT. I think there is way too much reliance upon medication. Sure, it's helpful when coupled with valuable therapy in a lot of situations... But I think most doctors undervalue the therapy and overvalue the pills. Even though therapists have to work with a psychiatrist in order to prescribe the pills, all it sounds like to me is that the therapists want to talk about what the pills are doing, and how the pills make you feel. Fuck the damn pills.

    Glad to hear you found a therapist who actually listens though. I think there are TONS of different approaches to therapy, and different types of people feel comfortable with very different doctors. It's almost like a dating/matchmaking process, haha. Find the one that is the right fit for you.
    “Everybody has a secret world inside of them. All of the people of the world, I mean everybody. No matter how dull and boring they are on the outside, inside
    them they've all got unimaginable, magnificent, wonderful, stupid, amazing worlds. Not just one world. Hundreds of them. Thousands maybe.” -Neil Gaiman

    ~

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    I'm going to differ on the therapy comment -- there's a difference between therapists (who cannot prescribe) and psychiatrists (who are licensed to prescribe). It was the psychiatrist who actually discussed meds with me and seemed to be more focused on a pharmacological solution to my depression and anxiety. It was the therapist who took a therapeutic approach.

    I was actually fortunate with my shrink, since she knew meds were just a help.. and that, really, all they were meant to do was take the edge off my problems so that therapy could help equip me to deal with them. When it became clear to her that the 30 minutes we spent together every other week would not be enough, she just made sure my meds were stable and meanwhile referred me to hour-long sessions therapist in her practice who she thought would be the best mesh with me. (She was right.) Glad some shrinks take therapy seriously.

    Quote Originally Posted by Meek View Post
    I think perhaps maybe once I met only one therapist who dealt with children under the age of 18 and she was lovely. She was a huge hippie and I remember giving her a photo of Jerry Garcia and seeing her hang it on the wall. Other than that, the adult therapists stunk. They looked at me like I was insane most of the time. They didn't listen to me. I want to know what everyone's therapist experience has been like so far.
    I was in therapy with three different people.

    The first was my intake psychiatrist, who listened to me for about two years, while meanwhile determining whether I needed meds and what I needed and how much. (We eventually settled on Wellbutrin, which did help me some.) When she recognized what I needed from therapy was not something she could provide, she passed me to someone she knew would be better. She was very structured as a person, but she had undergone some interesting life experiences (such as leaving her childhood faith), so she had some ability to understand what I was going through and know what I needed; she just didn't have the skill or chops to do hardcore therapy. Probably xSTJ.

    My second therapist, I still see a "mother" figure. I miss her, and occasionally we will write to each other. She recognized quickly that I was smart enough to understand a lot about myself and my situation; what I actually needed was someone to create a safe space in which I wasn't afraid to just be myself. (I was still cloaking a lot of myself, out of shame and/or fearing judgment from others and thus throwing my life into chaos if I chose to make waves.) A lot of the pressure on me was religious in nature, and since she was religious/spiritual herself, she understood what I was dealing with. She was good at coaxing out the best parts of me, as well as teaching me it was okay to accept the bad/uglier parts as well. I lived for my therapy sessions, and we laughed so much together about so many things. On occasion, she slapped me with a hard comment/question that stopped me in my tracks, but I'm glad she did. She's an ENFJ.

    My third therapist, I switched to because she had more specific experience with one of my issues. She was INFJ. She was affirming but in a more rational sense, but more distant and detached, with a bit of enigma about her. She kept more space there. She was very good at analyzing things, noting boundaries, giving practical advice on how to approach particular situations in ways that respected everyone. I liked her, but I never felt as close to her as I did with Therapist #2. Eventually there wasn't anything else she could offer me so I left.

    Overall, I think therapy is one of those professions where anyone can do the coursework and get a degree, but it doesn't mean jack in terms of actually dealing with people. It's also one of the professions where you can kind of "bluff" and get away with it, as opposed to computer science (if you don't know how to code well, your code simply won't run). Which means you'll get a wide range of good to bad counselors. Counselors also have to recognize when they can establish a rapport with someone, vs being a bad match and needing to set them up with someone else.
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    (blankpages) Xenon's Avatar
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    I gave up on finding a good match after my fourth useless counselling experience. Good for you for sticking with it.

    Therapists/counsellors really vary in their attitudes toward medication. The last one I saw firmly believed that anyone with significant depressive or anxious symptoms should see a doctor and get medication, and was quite pushy and patronizing about it. He kept bringing it up repeatedly and eventually I felt like I couldn't talk to him about anything, because he'd just use it as an excuse to bring up meds again. The one I had before never mentioned them.

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    Senior Member Chiharu's Avatar
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    I went to two therapists when my parents got a divorce. largely unimpressed with both.

    I told the first one everything and trusted her completely. She was most definitely ISFJ and we typed me as INTP. I decided not to see my father anymore, she met with him, he bullied her. When I came back, she made it very clear I wasn't welcome. She basically told me that since he was still paying for my sessions (which, btw, he was LEGALLY bound to do) I had no right to question anything he did. I was 13.

    The next therapist I didn't open up to at all. It was fairly easy to her round in circles, but i have to give her credit that she realized what I was doing to an extent and she never folded to any of his threats. I'd guess her as INFJ, maybe ISFJ. She never gave me any great insight, but she was decent. SHe advised me to cry when I was trying to kill every emotion, and I'll always be thankful for that.

    The first lady kind of made me want to become a therapist so no other emotionally fragile 13-year-old would ever have to go through that, so I guess she was good for something.
    Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness." ― Kurt Vonnegut

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    Post Human Post Qlip's Avatar
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    ^^^ I sometimes wonder about getting into the mental health field, helping people like that sounds satisfying.

    I had a councilor for a short time when I was working through some stuff when getting ready to decide what to do with my marriage. The lady was real nice, but had some kind of useless suggestions. She also volunteered to write out a prescription for my then disthymia, I took a pass on it.

    It's good that she was relatable, but at the time I probably could of done just as well dialing a 1-900 number.

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    Senior Member Meek's Avatar
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    ^ Llololol@ 1900 number. Definitely feels that way with some of them.
    Thank you everyone for your stories, I loved reading them and it made me feel better, to know that you've been through similar experiences.

    A very good friend of mine used to live where I did, same city and I had no clue until she told me this but apparently the therapists that I saw,
    some of them were sued in other states and banned to be therapists and came down to the beach area of the state I was in and worked there
    being the rejects that they are, they were SOME HOW allowed to work there. Eh hem ''work'

    Once, I went to a therapist who called me a slut without saying the word. I told her that I dated a guy who mentally abused me
    about my past sex life and called me a whore and an aids bucket among other things just because I wasn't a virgin. (This guy preyed on girls who seemed to be too shy and like virgins. I think he's a pedophile, not sure) and after telling her this, she replied with; "Boy, you just get around dont you" she didn't laugh, she didn't say it nicely. I wanted to beat her fucking ass. I was 18 at the time. After that, my sister started working at that mental center as a secretary and some how got a hold of my records from that one horrible therapy session. Apparently the useless bitch wrote "Miss Lane is defiant" LOLOL. DUH, I'M 18 I'M ALLOWED TO BE. Sorry for caps. That shit still angers me so much! I have heard that she got fired :P

    Actually, now that I think of it, I did see one more counselor in that state and the only reason she 'got' me was because her son has the same physical condition that I have, that can cause anxiety attacks. She looked so angry and mean but once talking to her, she was so sweet and listened to me but it was only one session so, it was hard to tell but she was still sweet. I think she was an Intp, actually. Long white haired lady which some how made me feel more comfortable for some reason. I suppose I like the older therapists who are more experienced. My therapist has white hair, too. I also feel at ease talking with men therapists. Not sure why.

    Anyway, to those who think you can't find a good therapist. Do not give up. I shunned those fuckers for years and years and now I finally found one. Had to move up north :P
    I have no special talent. I am only passionately curious.-
    Albert Einstein

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    Post Human Post Qlip's Avatar
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    ^^^That's absolutely terrible, that first therapist. They definitely can help a person, or hurt them. I hope she did get fired.

    Reminds me of the Christian Marriage Councilor that I ended up going to. I ended up spending half of the time arguing that I was not in fact "a moral relativist", which he kept accusing me of being. Of course, in retrospect some of the things I ended up having to do to make thing work were way off the mark.

  10. #10
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    sorry guys about the sucky therapists. Me too, i have seen horrible therapist too.

    I myself had undergo experience of both being coached and saw therapy. I have met an incompetent therapist and she was a person with low self-awareness and life experience that was why she couldn't provide the clarity for me. I stopped going after 2 sessions.

    For a therapist to become an effective therapist, first of all, he has to undergo therapy himself. And a good one.

    A Therapist cannot help another person, and see another person for who he is, until he can see himself for who he is and have received the similar help.

    I'm undergoing training as a life coach and my trainings stress how important it is to transcend my own frameworks and be empathic to the client. It is also strongly stressed how sometimes we are our client's ceiling. So if we are limited by our frameworks, then we impose those limiting frameworks onto our clients.

    The better life coaches are those who value being coached. When we see how our lives change due to coaching, then we become so grateful that we want to pay it forward. Then we become sincere in helping others move forward.


    The incompetent , lousy therapists you have seen, may be people who have not developed enough self-awareness or they have not understood the positive impact of therapy that they can have on you because they have not undergone it themselves in that way, so they cannot deliver it to you.

    The strength of intention to help someone else life often comes a lot from the gratefulness they have about themselves and their lives.

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