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  1. #61
    Senior Member pinkgraffiti's Avatar
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    sorry, i don't know much. i remember my father saying when he met my mother he felt a partner in her by her ability to link and interpret things (i guess Ni that they both share) and my mum thought my dad was out of the ordinary and a more interesting man that the ones she'd been with before. so i guess it started off as an intellectual link. but i might be wrong, it's just what i can recall from their conversations....

    Quote Originally Posted by Unkindloving View Post
    Bolded is absolutely perfect INTJ-ENFJ interaction lol.
    I've been curious of the dynamic as of late, as well as my INTJ who just started going with an ENFJ-lady. I see potential for an interesting understanding of one another's motivations and ability to keep one another in check, but also potential for emotional disconnect. I'd suppose that a good enough foundation between the two parties would allow for tapping in and figuring out for maximum potential.
    The passion is also another curiosity. Do you know anything of when their relationship was young and fairly new?

    You jerk!

    Mm your issue here is not realizing that ENFJ wants you in the cage. We may have sharp claws and pointy teeth, but our opposable thumbs will keep you on lockdown! We are the keepers

  2. #62
    Certified Sausage Smoker Elfboy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by NickNaylor View Post
    ENFJ girls are particularly good at manipulating most men.

    That is of course, until they've met an ENTP with developed Ne+Ti.
    actually they're least effective on TJs and ENFPs with strong Te. unhealthy ENFJs attempt to manipulate people's emotions to get them to feel something strongly and act irrationally. with TJs are FPs with strong Te, that's just not how we make decisions. Fi can easily spot insincerity and mal-intent while Te makes decisions based of of facts, practical logic and systems. also, Sp/Sx are probably the hardest of the instinctual subtypes to manipulate because, from a purely instinctual perspective, we need people the least. Sp/So and Sx/Sp probably come next (social types are easy to manipulate as hell lol)
    ENFP: We put the Fi in Fire
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    Likes zanderp liked this post

  3. #63
    my floof is luxury Wind Up Rex's Avatar
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    And so long as you haven’t experienced this: to die and so to grow,
    you are only a troubled guest on the dark earth
    Likes Novella liked this post

  4. #64

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    Certain ENFJs can make me look like Satan Spawn.
    Those who pursue truth must not be arrogant. Just because it can't be proven scientifically, you must not laugh at miracles. You must not deny your eyes the beauty of this world.

  5. #65
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    It makes for a good show

    I kinda have an issue with Fe when it goes into mommy-mode. It kinda feels like being a 5-yaer old again:

    ENFP: *presents ENFJ with something silly and fun, not meant in any serious way, inviting to come and play as well*
    ENFJ: 'Aww, that's a very pretty [insert silly fun thing] *pats head*
    ENFP:

    hrrg! nng! OMG! This was so accurate it hit me right in the gut. Almost causing a physical reaction. I literally created an account just so I could reply to this. I have been super frustrated with my ENFJ brother because his Fe always makes him feel so ingenuine. There's so many things that bother me about the way he acts, but this one is the biggest. He doesn't get that I want him to ALSO be interested in the things I'm interested in. But because Fe is about everyone else, HE isn't feeling compelled to do things and it makes me feel disconnected from him.

    Also, the part that really hit me was that it makes me feel like I'm just being a silly little kid. Like I'm taking the things I do super seriously and he's letting me feel good about myself. It just...HRRRG! Makes me so frustrated and stressed. I don't need to be falsely praised or feel like I'm being labelled as childish by association and pandered to.

    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    Believe it or not but somehow the Te/ INTJ daddy response actually makes me cringe less:

    ENFP: *silly fun thing*
    INTJ option 1: *raises eyebrow while desperately trying to keep from grinning*
    INTJ option 2: 'Cute. Now go away.' *goes back to playing videogames and conquering the world*'

    I still don't get why it doesn't bother me.

    I'm also wondering what is going throug the FJ's mind when they do the whole...I guess, placating thing? *curious*
    Also, it's not frustrating with INTJ's because you know you're changing their day in little ways and making them feel good. It's cute and it still feels like connecting. There's no ulterior motive and there's no true loss of power like with the ENFJ's placating.
    Likes Amargith, Ghost liked this post

  6. #66
    Walking in the Rain Forever's Avatar
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    *doesnt feel like trolling this thread today*

    Although I do wonder if INFJ's and ENFJ's get along anyway
    Sun: ♈️ Moon: ♓️ Ascendant: ♒️
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    I find that the illusions sometimes are more beneficial to my reality than what I project as 'reality'

  7. #67
    Meta Hard's Avatar
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    Oh there's no need. We'll just say it for you
    MBTI: ExxJ tetramer
    Functions: Fe > Te > Ni > Se > Si > Ti > Fi > Ne
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  8. #68
    A snowstorm is coming... Amargith's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by zanderp View Post
    hrrg! nng! OMG! This was so accurate it hit me right in the gut. Almost causing a physical reaction. I literally created an account just so I could reply to this. I have been super frustrated with my ENFJ brother because his Fe always makes him feel so ingenuine. There's so many things that bother me about the way he acts, but this one is the biggest. He doesn't get that I want him to ALSO be interested in the things I'm interested in. But because Fe is about everyone else, HE isn't feeling compelled to do things and it makes me feel disconnected from him.

    Also, the part that really hit me was that it makes me feel like I'm just being a silly little kid. Like I'm taking the things I do super seriously and he's letting me feel good about myself. It just...HRRRG! Makes me so frustrated and stressed. I don't need to be falsely praised or feel like I'm being labelled as childish by association and pandered to.



    Also, it's not frustrating with INTJ's because you know you're changing their day in little ways and making them feel good. It's cute and it still feels like connecting. There's no ulterior motive and there's no true loss of power like with the ENFJ's placating.
    Wow, blast from the past

    I've found that it seems to stem from an innate need for harmony and not knowing what to do with extreme excitability (because it can cause such chaos, they treat it with gloves), so they placate instead, trying to manage your emotional state and bring it back to the flock, as it were. I've also had ENFJs who know you well enough and aren't too anxious (which makes them more control freaks) just join me in the fun, or grab the popcorn, so it's a matter of them relaxing into the very thing that drives their ego - that's not an easy feat for anyone (we all have our ego invested in something). It seems to especially happen one-on-one when they have no group to consider, and the risk of collateral damage is significantly reduced in their eyes.

    These days, I feel comfortable enough with myself that I notice it, smile (or roll my eyes a bit if I'm short on patience that day), and just ease up on them a bit. On a bad day, it still annoys me, but I also know that that stems from my own frustration of people treating me like a kid as a default, (it gets better as you get older), as an ENFP, making it a sensitive trigger as it is, and is therefore, in part, projection. It also doesn't help that I have a big need for freedom and that I consider the emotional realm one of my strengths, meaning I don't *need* them to manage me, nor do I want it. They may be afraid of going down that road, but I've travelled it many times and just because they're afraid of getting on board, doesn't mean I can't handle what lies ahead. Basically, that sentiment is what triggers the rebellion against their attempt to manage/control.

    I don't yield all the way, just a bit, to meet them half way and see if it reduces their level of anxiety. If they still show me the white in their eyes, I'll drop it fully and go have fun with someone else.It's no fun without two to tango after all. But it's like a peace offering, to coax them into letting go a bit :P

    Meanwhile, with INTJs they'll actually look at you and seriously ponder you. Yes, they may judge you to be a fruitcake, but they'll respect the apparent desire to be a fruitcake and decide for themselves if they want to be part of the fruitcake-experience while letting you know so in no uncertain terms. And when you present them with a non-fruitcake experience, they'll actually judge it separately and won't hold the fruitcake fun against you, or let it taint your credibility - unless you've got an established pattern of being a troll fruitcake
    ★ڿڰۣ✿ℒoѵℯ✿ڿڰۣ★





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  9. #69

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    Generally bad at taking criticism.

    They think they are better strategists than they really are ... not everything is in people.

    There is a realistic possbility they will come cross as "sex objects".

    Can be manipulaive for justfied and unjutified reasons. (and be good at it)

    May be enforcer or creator of pointless/unpractical rules.




    Just to name the obvious ones.

  10. #70
    Biertrinker entropie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    Wow, blast from the past

    I've found that it seems to stem from an innate need for harmony and not knowing what to do with extreme excitability (because it can cause such chaos, they treat it with gloves), so they placate instead, trying to manage your emotional state and bring it back to the flock, as it were. I've also had ENFJs who know you well enough and aren't too anxious (which makes them more control freaks) just join me in the fun, or grab the popcorn, so it's a matter of them relaxing into the very thing that drives their ego - that's not an easy feat for anyone (we all have our ego invested in something). It seems to especially happen one-on-one when they have no group to consider, and the risk of collateral damage is significantly reduced in their eyes.

    These days, I feel comfortable enough with myself that I notice it, smile (or roll my eyes a bit if I'm short on patience that day), and just ease up on them a bit. On a bad day, it still annoys me, but I also know that that stems from my own frustration of people treating me like a kid as a default, (it gets better as you get older), as an ENFP, making it a sensitive trigger as it is, and is therefore, in part, projection. It also doesn't help that I have a big need for freedom and that I consider the emotional realm one of my strengths, meaning I don't *need* them to manage me, nor do I want it. They may be afraid of going down that road, but I've travelled it many times and just because they're afraid of getting on board, doesn't mean I can't handle what lies ahead. Basically, that sentiment is what triggers the rebellion against their attempt to manage/control.

    I don't yield all the way, just a bit, to meet them half way and see if it reduces their level of anxiety. If they still show me the white in their eyes, I'll drop it fully and go have fun with someone else.It's no fun without two to tango after all. But it's like a peace offering, to coax them into letting go a bit :P

    Meanwhile, with INTJs they'll actually look at you and seriously ponder you. Yes, they may judge you to be a fruitcake, but they'll respect the apparent desire to be a fruitcake and decide for themselves if they want to be part of the fruitcake-experience while letting you know so in no uncertain terms. And when you present them with a non-fruitcake experience, they'll actually judge it separately and won't hold the fruitcake fun against you, or let it taint your credibility - unless you've got an established pattern of being a troll fruitcake
    I recognized this text was written in the english language, many more I did not understand

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