[NF] NF's Sudden Uplifting Power

[Crescent Fresh]

I'm going to borrow skylight's recent quote from her blog to start this thread:

i am feeling JOY. i have been hypo-depressed and seeing everything in 50% desaturation for the last year and a couple months but yesterday morning i was doing some mundane task at work and all of a sudden this warm bright little glow feeling came up from inside me and it was ease and joy and contentment and it encircled me in a little halo of happiness and i hummed a little song and i still dislike my job and i still want more out of life and i still have some things that need taking care of but i don't have to know everything and i don't have to have a whole life plan set out and i don't have to figure out what i want right now i can just feel and move and be happy. or i can lay in my bed and feel the breeze through the window and be relaxed and happy like i have this morning! no guilt and no self-applied pressure and no despair. just light and happiness and peace. i know i've been on the upswing lately but i have no idea why this happened when it did... but regardless, i am grateful!!

I know this is one typical ENFPs trait, their endless optimism (which I strongly admire) and the ability to re-bounce themselves--being true inspirers they are well-known for.

Though I'm wondering if this happens to most xNFPs or ENFxs? Because for me to gather up myself after distressful moments, I need people around me to encourage me and cheering me up. I wish I can do that alone and be a self-therapist. I also wonder if other INFJs have the ability to heal themselves just through the power of thinking (as what skylights has illustrated).

Nevertheless, this is certainly an area which I would like to develop myself. And I'm just wondering about how NFs feel about this?

 

[FunnyDigestion]

That happens to me a lot. I can make myself feel better pretty quickly. I've never had any severe misfortune, but... I think a lot of people are depressed because they have bad stuff in their heads. They have fucked-up thinking patterns, their mental lives are dominated by stuff that's literally guaranteed to hurt them, that's independent of their actual life. Sometimes your life objectively sucks, true. But even when it's bad, it's pretty damn good. A lot of the time it's about gratitude. Rediscovering the simple physical / mental / emotional joys of being alive. Imagine a life-or-death situation-- imagine the moment in between, the split-second of uncertainty when you aren't sure whether you'll live or die. How precious is life to you then? Shouldn't it be that precious every day?

Like Dostoevsky, the writer: when he was 27 or 28 (I forget) he was imprisoned for months & then taken before a firing squad with a bunch of other dissidents. Right as they stood there with the soldiers lined up to shoot them, it was a mock execution & the sentence was commuted to 4 years of labor in Siberia. Although that's still not too great of a deal, he was elated since the whole time he'd been thinking what he'd do if he didn't have to die, thinking how he'd taken life for granted. I have the quote from when I first read about it:

"When I look back on my past and think how much time I wasted on nothing, how much time has been lost in futilities, errors, laziness, incapacity to live; how little I appreciated it, how many times I sinned against my heart and soul - then my heart bleeds. Life is a gift, life is happiness, every minute can be an eternity of happiness."

& that's from a guy as miserable as Fyodor Dostoevsky.

 

[Qlip]

^^^ Dostoevsky... that's amazing. I often try to grasp for eternity in the moment.

Yeah.. I've been described as resilient before. I'm not sure where it comes from. I guess when all the chips are down then you pick any direction, may as well go up. Theres *always* something good.

 

[William K]

When I read the thread title, the first thing that came to mind was how my hot air could lift up a balloon

 

[Crescent Fresh]

Perhaps one of their strengths is their unusually strong rationalization of keeping up with their high spirits?

I really consider this as an incredibly power of controlling one's mind to stay positive before depression hits you.

 

[skylights]

oh hey quote from me

i was not expecting that!


that 1-year time period has probably been my "lowest" in terms of feeling depressed and doing very little. which, for me, still meant having 2 jobs, taking 3 masters' classes, and still occasionally going out with friends, but the tone of it all was just dampened. in high school i definitely did not have rose-colored glasses, but i was more angry than sad during those years. i was still "up", not depressy.

it's definitely been helpful to have my mom be supportive and my best friend too, though i think that i actually felt superego-style stress about having them around because i didn't want others to even see me when i was like that. that was probably what triggered the hypo-depression in the first place, actually - i was disappointed that my life wasn't turning out the way i had hoped/expected, i moved and lost my usual social network, and i finished my school program which meant that i didn't have a big overall goal i was moving toward anymore. and i got passed over during the last stage of an interview for a position that i really would have loved, even though the interviewer had essentially told me i had the job in the bag. all those things combined to make me feel lost and disappointed with myself, and then not having anything to do made me essentially feel ashamed to be myself, which is something i feel very rarely. so i think that plunged me straight into that low point.

as for coming back up again... well, i was self-employed doing freelance for a while, but that wasn't much good in this economy. then i got a part-time job, which made me excited at first, but i soon learned what a hell it was (i mean this objectively - people have been quitting en masse recently). so i got out, enrolled in some classes, and got a new job - which is still utterly boring (it's not a creative-thinking required position). in terms of swing, i think i hit rock bottom sometime around february. i tried some antidepressants, but they did nothing at all, so i weaned myself off them. but then every month i was doing a little more... feeling a little better... and then finally this day of joy, and i went home and cleaned my entire house.

i wish i could figure out why it happened then, though. in case i should ever need it again...

 

[Qlip]

Perhaps one of their strengths is their unusually strong rationalization of keeping up with their high spirits?

You know, the only time I rationalize is when people feel like they need some sort of explanation for my actions and I feel compelled to give one. Even then I feel its just a facade on saying 'because' or the real reasons which Im not always sure I can verbalize correctly.

 

[Crescent Fresh]

oh hey quote from me

i was not expecting that!

Your quotes often make me ponder on things that I haven't thought about, and I hope you wouldn't mind me quoting one from your blog.

all those things combined to make me feel lost and disappointed with myself, and then not having anything to do made me essentially feel ashamed to be myself, which is something i feel very rarely. so i think that plunged me straight into that low point.

Still, I've bumped into quite a few ENFPs in my life and one common pattern which I've noticed is that they're quick to bounce back from disappointments--even when they're not in healthy state, usually. I felt that it must have to do with setting a high expectation (or ego) on oneself in order to push yourself forward. For me, I get motivated not from myself, but from others actually. Like I have to set a goal on helping someone to overcome their obstacles (and ironically, usually this involves with ENFPs), and that in return help me to lift my spirits up.

as for coming back up again... well, i was self-employed doing freelance for a while, but that wasn't much good in this economy. then i got a part-time job, which made me excited at first, but i soon learned what a hell it was (i mean this objectively - people have been quitting en masse recently). so i got out, enrolled in some classes, and got a new job - which is still utterly boring (it's not a creative-thinking required position). in terms of swing, i think i hit rock bottom sometime around february. i tried some antidepressants, but they did nothing at all, so i weaned myself off them. but then every month i was doing a little more... feeling a little better... and then finally this day of joy, and i went home and cleaned my entire house.

Is this a common pattern for ENFPs to clean their house or start planning meticulously whenever they're trying to deal with their stresses? I often wonder about this, heh. I do noticed that as long as they don't get bored with people who are important to them being around them, they usually feel happier. And it also seems they often seek for their identity through their social network, to give themselves a sense of purpose. I wonder if that happens to you too?

i wish i could figure out why it happened then, though. in case i should ever need it again...

Consider that as a gift of blessing for being an ENFP. Most often, based on my observations, these "Aha" moments for ENFPs often connotates positive solutions. I think the "Aha" moments for INFJs are resolution of a closure aka doorslamming, which isn't pretty at all.

 

[Crescent Fresh]

You know, the only time I rationalize is when people feel like they need some sort of explanation for my actions and I feel compelled to give one. Even then I feel its just a facade on saying 'because' or the real reasons which Im not always sure I can verbalize correctly.

That's interesting. As for me, I tend to rationalize when there're negative thoughts of suspicions casting toward others, as I tried hard not to make a quick judgement on someone, especially if it involves negative speculations.

 

[Qlip]

I was thinking about this on a drive. I wonder if there's isn't a P vs J difference in resiliency. I have a hard time ever really feeling that I've hit bottom. I don't register that sort of thing absolutely, like there's some cardinal point 0,0 of being A-OK. Instead I feel more like a vector in some sort of space without finite boundaries with speed and direction going up or down. It's probably a lot easier to cope with difficult situations from that perspective.

 

[CrystalViolet]

Internal restructuring. I do a lot of it. I kinda think when you are a bit down, you are kinda off line, adapting, creating new sub routines, and when you find one that works, that's it, you are back on line.
I've been called extremely resilient. (I guess it's the truth). I usually over come obstacles. Some devastating things. Meh, it's just as well I appreciate the small things in life.
I love when things get reframed! Clouds become sunshine, and rainbows appear.

 

[mmhmm]

i woke up one day. and it just made sense.
and i got over it.

this happens often.

 

[Crescent Fresh]

So it seems like such extraordinary power is quite common among xNFPs. I wonder what ENFJs also share such mystical power?

 

[Z Buck McFate]

I was thinking about this on a drive. I wonder if there's isn't a P vs J difference in resiliency. I have a hard time ever really feeling that I've hit bottom. I don't register that sort of thing absolutely, like there's some cardinal point 0,0 of being A-OK. Instead I feel more like a vector in some sort of space without finite boundaries with speed and direction going up or down. It's probably a lot easier to cope with difficult situations from that perspective.

I do think that being Pe dominant (or even aux) vs. Pi dominant has a lot to do with it. There's a reason Pe doms tend to be enneatype 7 and Pi doms... aren't. Enthusiasm just comes more easily when your attention/perception is primarily directed towards noticing new external opportunities.

 

[FunnyDigestion]

I think P's have less of an urge to "interrogate" everything that happens to them, like "Why did it have to happen this way??" or "Why couldn't things be different?" They're more accepting that there'll be good times & bad times, so they don't feel as much need to "get to the bottom" of what bad stuff they go through in order to control the flow of life... Obviously that can be good or bad. The best P's are like wizards who learn to balance themselves so they never spin out of control & aren't constantly yoyo-ing between high & low, yet can still feel all the particular emotions brought up by the infinite magical situations of life.

Back to homework... 7th cup of coffee today

 

[the state i am in]

e4s i think run lower more generally, so they have less threshold to maintain faith.

to me it's just about acceptance. and balancing your assumptions so that they can promote smart emotional reasoning. otherwise you can end up with a constant let go debt that just piles up too fast to process.

i don't know if it's just nf types, one of my favorite books, the gay science by nietzsche is about this very same thing. the basic idea tho is to get back to acceptance. so many aspects of this all fit together, but the feeling of lightness, of ascending you get from just feeling it again, it's just awesome. i've been getting this feeling of acceptance more frequently and it's been preventing me from bottoming out or from my various mood swings and rhythms from preventing me from being who i want to be and doing what i want to do. each type i have the feeling of acceptance just catch my attention and wash over me and draw me back into myself, i can't help but feel like i am grateful for my opportunities.

 

[OrangeAppled]

Internal restructuring. I do a lot of it. I kinda think when you are a bit down, you are kinda off line, adapting, creating new sub routines, and when you find one that works, that's it, you are back on line.
I've been called extremely resilient. (I guess it's the truth). I usually over come obstacles. Some devastating things. Meh, it's just as well I appreciate the small things in life.
I love when things get reframed! Clouds become sunshine, and rainbows appear.

I like that phrasing. I think it highlights how NFs (or at least NFPs) do lift themselves up simply through thinking it out.

I think for a Fi+Ne type, there's a re-evaluative process accompanied by mentally puzzling out possible solutions to whatever the perceived problem is. Something can't bring you down so much when you decide it's not so important to your happiness and/or when you're working towards creative solutions. I think Ne thinking does well when backed into a corner. It's the kind of challenge it thrives on.

I imagine Ni types do a perspective shift of some kind. I imagine it might be harder to redefine what is important with Fe though, unless it's seeking out those with different values to form a new consensus. I think they do tend to look for more feedback on what is important, whereas a Ne type will seek feedback on different avenues they are exploring as possible solutions.

I'm pretty resilient also, and I think it's the ability to carve out some kind of hope in any situation; idealism is tough to kill. As a 4 though, the trap to avoid is romanticizing misery.

 

[Boo]

I usually need others to help cheer me up BUT sometimes just uplifting music can change my perspective and attitude--"YEAH I CAN DO THIS!"