[MBTI General] How to piss an idealist off

[CzeCze]

Wow, ENFJ's are nice.

I have a former roommate, most likely XNTP, who technically owes me months of back rent. But you know, that was years ago.

Haha...bah...

Sparrow, you should only live with other ENFX!

 

[Sparrow]

If I had a penny for every EN/SFJ that ends up in this situation.. I coulda sent this guy first class for you =D

Lol!!! Never again...unless it's for a really good friend <3 that isn't a complete low life and that doesn't have a history of house hopping!

So yea, inconsiderate people can really piss an idealist off lol.

Wow, ENFJ's are nice.

I have a former roommate, most likely XNTP, who technically owes me months of back rent. But you know, that was years ago.

Haha...bah...

Sparrow, you should only live with other ENFX!

Nice? More like dumb, hahaha just kidding . I barely knew the guy- It's a long story lol...lesson learned though.

 

[InvisibleJim]

NT/NF Death Spiral

I spent 4.5 years with an INTJ trying to be what he wanted (another INTJ), and I am unwilling to do that again.

Stage 1: NT meets NF. NF is enamoured of NT, falls head over heels. NT is characteristically cautious, but interested. NFs are fun, after all.
Stage 2: NF appreciates and admires many characteristics of the NT and thus begins to behave more like an NT, perhaps even fooling the NT into thinking s/he is an NT. NT then relaxes, figuring s/he's with a kindred spirit, gets more comfortable with the relationship, starts acting like normal NT self, expecting to be understood.
Stage 3: NF feels NT cooling off and wonders what s/he is doing wrong. Tries to be more like NT to compensate. This doesn't feel right. NF gets needy and/or begins to consider is her/his duty to draw the NT out of her/his shell, encouraging the NT to express all those feelings buried deep inside. NT doesn't get it.
Stage 4: NT feels pressure from NFs emotional demands, needs distance to figure things out. (This might be only INTs. I'm not sure.) NF panics, becomes more needy. NT withdraws more...NF needs more...and so on and so on.
Stage 5: NF suddenly realizes that the reason things aren't working is that the NT is cold and unfeeling or not nurturing or some other horrible thing. Abandons NT without looking back. (This is especially likely with the NFPs.) NT is confused and (sometimes) relieved

 

[Crescent Fresh]

Lol!!! Never again...unless it's for a really good friend <3 that isn't a complete low life and that doesn't have a history of house hopping!

So yea, inconsiderate people can really piss an idealist off lol.

Nice? More like dumb, hahaha just kidding . I barely knew the guy- It's a long story lol...lesson learned though.

I did this when I was in college, and initially he promised me to stay for only one month but ending up being three months.

It didn't end well, of course. And we just ended up cutting ties, unfortunately.

Though the reason why I extended the time of staying with me has largely to do with feeling sorry for him, as he got kicked out by his Dad due to getting his g/f pregnant. *sigh*

 

[Anew Leaf]

Stage 1: NT meets NF. NF is enamoured of NT, falls head over heels. NT is characteristically cautious, but interested. NFs are fun, after all.
Stage 2: NF appreciates and admires many characteristics of the NT and thus begins to behave more like an NT, perhaps even fooling the NT into thinking s/he is an NT. NT then relaxes, figuring s/he's with a kindred spirit, gets more comfortable with the relationship, starts acting like normal NT self, expecting to be understood.
Stage 3: NF feels NT cooling off and wonders what s/he is doing wrong. Tries to be more like NT to compensate. This doesn't feel right. NF gets needy and/or begins to consider is her/his duty to draw the NT out of her/his shell, encouraging the NT to express all those feelings buried deep inside. NT doesn't get it.
Stage 4: NT feels pressure from NFs emotional demands, needs distance to figure things out. (This might be only INTs. I'm not sure.) NF panics, becomes more needy. NT withdraws more...NF needs more...and so on and so on.
Stage 5: NF suddenly realizes that the reason things aren't working is that the NT is cold and unfeeling or not nurturing or some other horrible thing. Abandons NT without looking back. (This is especially likely with the NFPs.) NT is confused and (sometimes) relieved

Or:

Stage 1: NT knows NF is NF since they have been friends for years. NF knows NT is NT.
Stage 2: NT asks NF out.
Stage 3: NT and NF have relationship.
Stage 4: NT informs NF that now they are in a relationship, there are going to be less of these "emotional shenanigans" and that the NF needs to become more detached. NT invents ways to get NF to be more detached. NF tries to comply with NT and initially succeeds.
Stage 5: NT organizes NF's dresser for her and begins to work on her becoming more organized.
Stage 6: NF has tried to have no feelings for so long she no longer has feelings for NT. Break-up sequence begins.

Earth is destroyed. 4 horsemen ride off into the sunset.

The End.

 

[Sparrow]

I did this when I was in college, and initially he promised me to stay for only one month but ending up being three months.

It didn't end well, of course. And we just ended up cutting ties, unfortunately.

Though the reason why I extended the time of staying with me has largely to do with feeling sorry for him, as he got kicked out by his Dad due to getting his g/f pregnant. *sigh*

^ How NF of us right!

 

[InvisibleJim]

Earth is destroyed. 4 horsemen ride off into the sunset.

The End.

I like the twist, this is usually where NFs turn up useful and why NFs should not try to be NTs to generate NT 'like' I tend to like people being themselves rather than trying to impress me with 'me-ness' after all, I hear myself all the time; I didn't write the NT/NF death spiral however; you'll have to take that up with Adam.

 

[Santosha]

Stage 1: NT meets NF. NF is enamoured of NT, falls head over heels. NT is characteristically cautious, but interested. NFs are fun, after all.
Stage 2: NF appreciates and admires many characteristics of the NT and thus begins to behave more like an NT, perhaps even fooling the NT into thinking s/he is an NT. NT then relaxes, figuring s/he's with a kindred spirit, gets more comfortable with the relationship, starts acting like normal NT self, expecting to be understood.
Stage 3: NF feels NT cooling off and wonders what s/he is doing wrong. Tries to be more like NT to compensate. This doesn't feel right. NF gets needy and/or begins to consider is her/his duty to draw the NT out of her/his shell, encouraging the NT to express all those feelings buried deep inside. NT doesn't get it.
Stage 4: NT feels pressure from NFs emotional demands, needs distance to figure things out. (This might be only INTs. I'm not sure.) NF panics, becomes more needy. NT withdraws more...NF needs more...and so on and so on.
Stage 5: NF suddenly realizes that the reason things aren't working is that the NT is cold and unfeeling or not nurturing or some other horrible thing. Abandons NT without looking back. (This is especially likely with the NFPs.) NT is confused and (sometimes) relieved

Stage 6: NF meets XF and goes on to live long, happy, fulfilling life with babies, bunnies, and flowers. NT meets NT but terminates relation over WOW conflict. NT pines away in their cave not understanding how they can take over the world, yet fail at a simple human connection. NT joins mbti forum.

JOKING!!! ofcourse.

 

[Anew Leaf]

I like the twist, this is usually where NFs turn up useful and why NFs should not try to be NTs to generate NT 'like' I tend to like people being themselves rather than trying to impress me with 'me-ness' after all, I hear myself all the time; I didn't write the NT/NF death spiral however; you'll have to take that up with Adam.

haha, no problem. And while I admire NT abilities to be detached and objective, since those are quite admittedly my own weakpoints... I can't wish too hard to be anything other than I am in the end.

Edit: And in defense of myself as an NFP, I will state that not only did I not abandon him without a backward glance, we are still friends.

 

[InvisibleJim]

Have I pissed any idealists off yet or do I need to start talking about how useless donating to charity is

 

[Anew Leaf]

Have I pissed any idealists off yet or do I need to start talking about how useless donating to charity is

No. I know deep inside them lurks a heart yearning for love and hugs and perhaps a kitten or two.

 

[InvisibleJim]

No. I know deep inside their lurks a heart yearning for love and hugs and perhaps a kitten or two.

Caught out apparently, I should return to my pre-retirement level of rudeness then.

If you aren't providing satisfactory windup material for the NFs to indulge in then you are doing it wrong.

 

[Santosha]

I only donate to charities after doing alot of research, so the charity kick wouldn't do it for this NF.

You've got to think large scale fi/fe violation. Like kicking a puppy, or calling a disabled person "cripply", or claiming that starving ethiopian children is all a hoax since they have swollen bellies.

 

[violaine]

@ OP: Pick on someone vulnerable right in front of me or hurt someone I care about. It's a sure-fire way to make me really angry. I don't really like it about myself, it's almost like I can summon more care on behalf of others than for myself.

Several large steps down from that, people who talk about themselves almost exclusively in terms of how great they are really annoy me too. Caveat: There are some people who are genuinely amazing, and I'm all for them talking about themselves. It's the ones who have glaring flaws but boost themselves above others that make me *roll eyes hard*. I can't be around someone like that because I know I will end up being really snide and getting into it with them. ( Oh god, and add into the mix those people who seem to believe everything the "super-human" is saying and I'm just done for. )

 

[INTPness]

...or calling a disabled person "cripply"...

 

[InvisibleJim]

I only donate to charities after doing alot of research, so the charity kick wouldn't do it for this NF.

You've got to think large scale fi/fe violation. Like kicking a puppy, or calling a disabled person "cripply", or claiming that starving ethiopian children is all a hoax since they have swollen bellies.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/africa/8535189.stm

Millions of dollars in Western aid for victims of the Ethiopian famine of 1984-85 was siphoned off by rebels to buy weapons, a BBC investigation finds.

Former rebel leaders told the BBC that they posed as merchants in meetings with charity workers to get aid money.
They used the cash to fund attempts to overthrow the government of the time.

One rebel leader estimated $95m (£63m) - from Western governments and charities - was channelled into the rebel fight.

The fungibility of readies *gasp*

I've discovered in life that just as myself, being a chronic INTJ requires significant independence to destress and to keep myself centered, including whatever bizarre activities are indulged in at this time, NFPs seem to require a nice big space to get fired up and to let it out and if they can share it with you and realise that you don't hate them for it and it's okay (hell, making me the target is also fine, I'm not one to get offended) then they leave happier once you've popped that pressure relief valve of bottled up angry especially if no-one dies or falls out as a consequence.

 

[OrangeAppled]

Giving me no win-win options, or no room to create my own......the whole "either/or" scenario which has some major drawback to each option, or which requires screwing one party over. It's in my nature to want to find the win-win, and when denied, I can get frustrated & pissy.

 

[Anew Leaf]

Caught out apparently, I should return to my pre-retirement level of rudeness then.

If you aren't providing satisfactory windup material for the NFs to indulge in then you are doing it wrong.

It's ok. I shall keep your secret safe inside my NF heart. *locks secret into vault*. Every time you make a sarcastic comment, I shall know that that is simply your way of saying "I am hugging you with words."

 

[Ginkgo]

The lesser evil.

 

[NotOfTwo]

I only donate to charities after doing alot of research, so the charity kick wouldn't do it for this NF.

You've got to think large scale fi/fe violation. Like kicking a puppy, or calling a disabled person "cripply", or claiming that starving ethiopian children is all a hoax since they have swollen bellies.

"cripply" ? :yim_rolling_on_the_

Wait, that was a joke, right? I hope. Cuz it was funny.