User Tag List

123 Last

Results 1 to 10 of 55

  1. #1
    Member HiddenAutumn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Posts
    62

    Question What type is the best at reading people?

    I've learned over the years that men aren't as good at reading people as woman. I'm not saying all men can't read people, but it just seems to be a skill that's generally stronger in woman.

    I've also learned that very, very few people are good at reading me. I'm scarily skilled at hiding my emotions.

    Anyway, imagine my surprise when I stepped into an elevator a few months ago and a man I had never seen before said to me (within seconds of seeing me): "You look nervous." I was nervous. "Do I?" I asked, not really wanting to confirm or deny at first. Then I said, "Well...I'm always nervous about something." And he said, "Don't be, you'll be fine." Then he got off the elevator and disappeared.

    I just really wonder what type he is because he's got some mad skills to be able to read me (Miss heart under her sleeve) within a matter of seconds. The only other person who I've ever met that was that good at reading me was a previous boss I had. I didn't like her and I never confided in her and yet she would accuse me of thinking or feelings things as if I had openly expressed them, and she was usually right! uncanny. What type are these two random master readers? They are rare indeed.

  2. #2
    meinmeinmein! mmhmm's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Posts
    2,300

    Default

    the type that you open up to.
    every normal man must be tempted, at times,
    to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag,
    and begin slitting throats.
    h.l. mencken

  3. #3
    Member HiddenAutumn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Posts
    62

    Default

    I didn't open up to either of them.

  4. #4
    Diving into Ni-space Crescent Fresh's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    4w5
    Posts
    807

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by HiddenAutumn View Post
    The only other person who I've ever met that was that good at reading me was a previous boss I had. I didn't like her and I never confided in her and yet she would accuse me of thinking or feelings things as if I had openly expressed them, and she was usually right! uncanny.
    Would you mind to share a few examples?

  5. #5
    Member HiddenAutumn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Posts
    62

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Crescent Fresh View Post
    Would you mind to share a few examples?
    Sure. So, I kept thinking about how much I hated that job. And a few times she asked, "Do you like this job?" as if she was really worried about it. Then I said something like, "Uh...yeah...I mean, it's not my dream job, but..." Then the next day she said (as if I had been complaining to her or something, which I hadn't). "I know this isn't your dream job but you get paid really well, and blah, blah, blah." She started naming all the reasons I should be glad to work there.

    Then sometimes she'd call me into her office and give me a pile of things to work on, and she'd constantly say things like, "I know you're anxious to run away, but I have a few more things to give you; we're not done yet." And she was right, I was anxious to get away from her.

    There were a few other times too where I thought, she just read my mind, but I can't remember specifically what she said. I was very mellow and inexpressive around her, so there was no real reason for her to think I was feeling frantic and stressed - even though I was. She picked up on it somehow.

    She was one of those people who was kind of obsessed with pleasing people, so maybe her fear of being disliked or displeasing is what made her assume that my emotional aloofness was a reaction to her and the job. And maybe she was being her own self-fulfilling prophecy because I didn't like her due to her micro-managing and obsessiveness over every minute detail. She was especially vigilant about pleasing anyone above her at work. I think that's why she was so good at reading people because she was constantly paying attention to how people reacted to her so she could try to "fix" any displeasure they might have.

    I mean one time she had me call this restaurant like 3 or 4 times to try and get an outside table for the president of the company who had a lunch appointment there. The restaurant kept saying there wasn't one available but she wouldn't give up. And apparently another time there were a bunch of fires along the coast (the office was in Malibu, California) and so no one went to work because the main roads were closed off but the president of the company told her to find a random back road and still come into work that day (despite the danger) and she did.

  6. #6
    royal member Rasofy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    MBTI
    INTP
    Enneagram
    5w6 sp/sx
    Posts
    5,932

    Default

    I'm guessing EXFJ.
    -----------------

    A man builds. A parasite asks 'Where is my share?'
    A man creates. A parasite says, 'What will the neighbors think?'
    A man invents. A parasite says, 'Watch out, or you might tread on the toes of God... '


    -----------------

  7. #7
    Away with the fairies Southern Kross's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    4w5 so/sp
    Posts
    2,912

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by HiddenAutumn View Post
    Sure. So, I kept thinking about how much I hated that job. And a few times she asked, "Do you like this job?" as if she was really worried about it. Then I said something like, "Uh...yeah...I mean, it's not my dream job, but..." Then the next day she said (as if I had been complaining to her or something, which I hadn't). "I know this isn't your dream job but you get paid really well, and blah, blah, blah." She started naming all the reasons I should be glad to work there.

    Then sometimes she'd call me into her office and give me a pile of things to work on, and she'd constantly say things like, "I know you're anxious to run away, but I have a few more things to give you; we're not done yet." And she was right, I was anxious to get away from her.

    There were a few other times too where I thought, she just read my mind, but I can't remember specifically what she said. I was very mellow and inexpressive around her, so there was no real reason for her to think I was feeling frantic and stressed - even though I was. She picked up on it somehow.

    She was one of those people who was kind of obsessed with pleasing people, so maybe her fear of being disliked or displeasing is what made her assume that my emotional aloofness was a reaction to her and the job. And maybe she was being her own self-fulfilling prophecy because I didn't like her due to her micro-managing and obsessiveness over every minute detail. She was especially vigilant about pleasing anyone above her at work. I think that's why she was so good at reading people because she was constantly paying attention to how people reacted to her so she could try to "fix" any displeasure they might have.
    My boss used to pull this crap on me but in my case he wasn't always accurate. I think it extremely invasive and unfair for someone to react to unspoken, suppressed emotions in another. Its like reading someone's diary and then berating them for what they say about you. This is even worse when its a boss because their knowledge of (or even presumptions about) your inner thoughts and feelings can make working with them difficult, if not a threat to your job security.

    Hey, I can read people fairly well but at least I have the decency to feign ignorance.
    INFP 4w5 so/sp

    I've dreamt in my life dreams that have stayed with me ever after, and changed my ideas;
    they've gone through and through me, like wine through water, and altered the colour of my mind.

    - Emily Bronte

  8. #8
    Senor Membrane
    Join Date
    May 2008
    MBTI
    INFP
    Posts
    3,190

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Southern Kross View Post
    Hey, I can read people fairly well but at least I have the decency to feign ignorance.
    Yeah. The question here isn't really about who can read people. I would never tell anyone on an elevator that they look nervous. Even if they are nervous, me telling them wouldn't help them. It might do it worse, since now they are very conscious of the nervousness and the fact that people can see it. So, if I wanted to tell them, I should be able to read the person well enough to know that it is something they actually need to hear.

    My guess is that the Fe people will be the ones to read and tell.

  9. #9
    i love skylights's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    6w7 so/sx
    Socionics
    EII Ne
    Posts
    7,835

    Default

    probably NFs, but you could also have run across an especially perceptive INTJ, ESFJ, or ESFP.

    the woman in your example sounds like she may be ExFJ, which would be kind of logical since you're INFJ, and it's usually easier to read types similar to your own.

    Quote Originally Posted by Southern Kross
    I think it extremely invasive and unfair for someone to react to unspoken, suppressed emotions in another. Its like reading someone's diary and then berating them for what they say about you.
    the difference being that a diary is hopefully well-hidden, whereas some people happen to project their emotions into everything. i don't think it's either invasive or unfair to say something when emotions are tangible, as long as it's kind and well-intentioned.

  10. #10
    Banned
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Posts
    2,390

    Default

    Different types of people have varying degrees of success reading different types of people.

Similar Threads

  1. [MBTItm] What type is the most judgmental of other people?
    By highlander in forum Myers-Briggs and Jungian Cognitive Functions
    Replies: 13
    Last Post: 11-30-2014, 08:35 PM
  2. [MBTItm] Which type is the best at reading people?
    By finalcount in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 35
    Last Post: 09-09-2012, 01:25 PM
  3. No more " What type is the..." threads
    By Thursday in forum Myers-Briggs and Jungian Cognitive Functions
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 11-28-2008, 03:37 PM
  4. What type flirts the best?
    By ThatsWhatHeSaid in forum Myers-Briggs and Jungian Cognitive Functions
    Replies: 103
    Last Post: 08-26-2008, 03:42 PM
  5. What type is the most pedantic?
    By Kiddo in forum Myers-Briggs and Jungian Cognitive Functions
    Replies: 43
    Last Post: 10-24-2007, 02:11 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO