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[MBTI General] What type is the best at reading people?

HiddenAutumn

New member
Joined
Jan 24, 2011
Messages
66
MBTI Type
INFJ
I've learned over the years that men aren't as good at reading people as woman. I'm not saying all men can't read people, but it just seems to be a skill that's generally stronger in woman.

I've also learned that very, very few people are good at reading me. I'm scarily skilled at hiding my emotions.

Anyway, imagine my surprise when I stepped into an elevator a few months ago and a man I had never seen before said to me (within seconds of seeing me): "You look nervous." I was nervous. "Do I?" I asked, not really wanting to confirm or deny at first. Then I said, "Well...I'm always nervous about something." And he said, "Don't be, you'll be fine." Then he got off the elevator and disappeared.

I just really wonder what type he is because he's got some mad skills to be able to read me (Miss heart under her sleeve) within a matter of seconds. The only other person who I've ever met that was that good at reading me was a previous boss I had. I didn't like her and I never confided in her and yet she would accuse me of thinking or feelings things as if I had openly expressed them, and she was usually right! uncanny. What type are these two random master readers? They are rare indeed.
 

Crescent Fresh

Diving into Ni-space
Joined
Mar 17, 2011
Messages
802
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
4w5
The only other person who I've ever met that was that good at reading me was a previous boss I had. I didn't like her and I never confided in her and yet she would accuse me of thinking or feelings things as if I had openly expressed them, and she was usually right! uncanny.

Would you mind to share a few examples?
 

HiddenAutumn

New member
Joined
Jan 24, 2011
Messages
66
MBTI Type
INFJ
Would you mind to share a few examples?

Sure. So, I kept thinking about how much I hated that job. And a few times she asked, "Do you like this job?" as if she was really worried about it. Then I said something like, "Uh...yeah...I mean, it's not my dream job, but..." Then the next day she said (as if I had been complaining to her or something, which I hadn't). "I know this isn't your dream job but you get paid really well, and blah, blah, blah." She started naming all the reasons I should be glad to work there.

Then sometimes she'd call me into her office and give me a pile of things to work on, and she'd constantly say things like, "I know you're anxious to run away, but I have a few more things to give you; we're not done yet." And she was right, I was anxious to get away from her.

There were a few other times too where I thought, she just read my mind, but I can't remember specifically what she said. I was very mellow and inexpressive around her, so there was no real reason for her to think I was feeling frantic and stressed - even though I was. She picked up on it somehow.

She was one of those people who was kind of obsessed with pleasing people, so maybe her fear of being disliked or displeasing is what made her assume that my emotional aloofness was a reaction to her and the job. And maybe she was being her own self-fulfilling prophecy because I didn't like her due to her micro-managing and obsessiveness over every minute detail. She was especially vigilant about pleasing anyone above her at work. I think that's why she was so good at reading people because she was constantly paying attention to how people reacted to her so she could try to "fix" any displeasure they might have.

I mean one time she had me call this restaurant like 3 or 4 times to try and get an outside table for the president of the company who had a lunch appointment there. The restaurant kept saying there wasn't one available but she wouldn't give up. And apparently another time there were a bunch of fires along the coast (the office was in Malibu, California) and so no one went to work because the main roads were closed off but the president of the company told her to find a random back road and still come into work that day (despite the danger) and she did.
 

Rasofy

royal member
Joined
Mar 7, 2011
Messages
5,881
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w6
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
I'm guessing EXFJ.
 

Southern Kross

Away with the fairies
Joined
Dec 22, 2008
Messages
2,910
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
so/sp
Sure. So, I kept thinking about how much I hated that job. And a few times she asked, "Do you like this job?" as if she was really worried about it. Then I said something like, "Uh...yeah...I mean, it's not my dream job, but..." Then the next day she said (as if I had been complaining to her or something, which I hadn't). "I know this isn't your dream job but you get paid really well, and blah, blah, blah." She started naming all the reasons I should be glad to work there.

Then sometimes she'd call me into her office and give me a pile of things to work on, and she'd constantly say things like, "I know you're anxious to run away, but I have a few more things to give you; we're not done yet." And she was right, I was anxious to get away from her.

There were a few other times too where I thought, she just read my mind, but I can't remember specifically what she said. I was very mellow and inexpressive around her, so there was no real reason for her to think I was feeling frantic and stressed - even though I was. She picked up on it somehow.

She was one of those people who was kind of obsessed with pleasing people, so maybe her fear of being disliked or displeasing is what made her assume that my emotional aloofness was a reaction to her and the job. And maybe she was being her own self-fulfilling prophecy because I didn't like her due to her micro-managing and obsessiveness over every minute detail. She was especially vigilant about pleasing anyone above her at work. I think that's why she was so good at reading people because she was constantly paying attention to how people reacted to her so she could try to "fix" any displeasure they might have.
My boss used to pull this crap on me but in my case he wasn't always accurate. I think it extremely invasive and unfair for someone to react to unspoken, suppressed emotions in another. Its like reading someone's diary and then berating them for what they say about you. This is even worse when its a boss because their knowledge of (or even presumptions about) your inner thoughts and feelings can make working with them difficult, if not a threat to your job security. :doh:

Hey, I can read people fairly well but at least I have the decency to feign ignorance.
 

nolla

Senor Membrane
Joined
May 22, 2008
Messages
3,166
MBTI Type
INFP
Hey, I can read people fairly well but at least I have the decency to feign ignorance.

Yeah. The question here isn't really about who can read people. I would never tell anyone on an elevator that they look nervous. Even if they are nervous, me telling them wouldn't help them. It might do it worse, since now they are very conscious of the nervousness and the fact that people can see it. So, if I wanted to tell them, I should be able to read the person well enough to know that it is something they actually need to hear.

My guess is that the Fe people will be the ones to read and tell.
 

skylights

i love
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Jul 6, 2010
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7,756
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6w7
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so/sx
probably NFs, but you could also have run across an especially perceptive INTJ, ESFJ, or ESFP.

the woman in your example sounds like she may be ExFJ, which would be kind of logical since you're INFJ, and it's usually easier to read types similar to your own.

Southern Kross said:
I think it extremely invasive and unfair for someone to react to unspoken, suppressed emotions in another. Its like reading someone's diary and then berating them for what they say about you.

the difference being that a diary is hopefully well-hidden, whereas some people happen to project their emotions into everything. i don't think it's either invasive or unfair to say something when emotions are tangible, as long as it's kind and well-intentioned.
 

InvisibleJim

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Nov 19, 2009
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2,387
Different types of people have varying degrees of success reading different types of people.
 

King sns

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NF's, and yes- women.
(I think male NF's seem just as good as female NF's at this- they are just rarer.)

Oh my goodness, this lines up so weird on the ispy feed. The "NF's" are lined up one under the other .
 
A

Anew Leaf

Guest
I think all NF types have this as a gift and a curse regardless of sex. I have scared some friends with how accurate I pick up on what they are thinking and saying... and they don't even need to be in the same state as me.

But NT types can also be very good at this once they get to know you. My last two LTR (ENTP and INTJ) were both excellent at picking up on when I was upset. They just arrive to this conclusion from a different train than what I would. :)

I don't have too many SP or SJ friends so I can't make any conjectures on them.
 

Chloe

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May 1, 2009
Messages
2,196
ENTP


ENTP i know is the best at reading people, but he is very bad at reading himself :p
 

HiddenAutumn

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Jan 24, 2011
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66
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INFJ
My boss used to pull this crap on me but in my case he wasn't always accurate. I think it extremely invasive and unfair for someone to react to unspoken, suppressed emotions in another. Its like reading someone's diary and then berating them for what they say about you. This is even worse when its a boss because their knowledge of (or even presumptions about) your inner thoughts and feelings can make working with them difficult, if not a threat to your job security. :doh:

Hey, I can read people fairly well but at least I have the decency to feign ignorance.

Hmm, that's really interesting. I hadn't really considered that other people were able to read me, but just had the tact not to say anything. That's probably very true.
 

Santosha

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Feb 1, 2011
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HUMR
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6
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sx
I had a strange thing like OP, but it wasn't feelings.. it was verbage. I was chatting with this guy on a bus by university.. and we talked about social programs (at the time I was going to school for social work) and at the very end he asked me where I worked. I asked him why, and he said that he thought I probably worked in mortgages. (I did!) but we hadn't discussed anything financial or anything about my job. I was baffled! I asked him why he thought that, and he said he could tell by my verbage, but it still floored me, because I couldn't recall any financial terms being used in the conversation. What ever type that guy was... he was incredible at reading me.
 

Randomnity

insert random title here
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May 8, 2007
Messages
9,485
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ISTP
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Sure. So, I kept thinking about how much I hated that job. And a few times she asked, "Do you like this job?" as if she was really worried about it. Then I said something like, "Uh...yeah...I mean, it's not my dream job, but..." Then the next day she said (as if I had been complaining to her or something, which I hadn't). "I know this isn't your dream job but you get paid really well, and blah, blah, blah." She started naming all the reasons I should be glad to work there.

Then sometimes she'd call me into her office and give me a pile of things to work on, and she'd constantly say things like, "I know you're anxious to run away, but I have a few more things to give you; we're not done yet." And she was right, I was anxious to get away from her.

There were a few other times too where I thought, she just read my mind, but I can't remember specifically what she said. I was very mellow and inexpressive around her, so there was no real reason for her to think I was feeling frantic and stressed - even though I was. She picked up on it somehow.

She was one of those people who was kind of obsessed with pleasing people, so maybe her fear of being disliked or displeasing is what made her assume that my emotional aloofness was a reaction to her and the job. And maybe she was being her own self-fulfilling prophecy because I didn't like her due to her micro-managing and obsessiveness over every minute detail. She was especially vigilant about pleasing anyone above her at work. I think that's why she was so good at reading people because she was constantly paying attention to how people reacted to her so she could try to "fix" any displeasure they might have.

I mean one time she had me call this restaurant like 3 or 4 times to try and get an outside table for the president of the company who had a lunch appointment there. The restaurant kept saying there wasn't one available but she wouldn't give up. And apparently another time there were a bunch of fires along the coast (the office was in Malibu, California) and so no one went to work because the main roads were closed off but the president of the company told her to find a random back road and still come into work that day (despite the danger) and she did.
I dunno, maybe I'm misinterpreting but I can picture most people reading you correctly in these two situations and just not saying anything (it's often very easy to see when someone doesn't like a job or doesn't like someone -and it's rarely a good idea to say anything!)

Especially the first example, I mean you outright told her that you hated the job with your response to a small-talk kind of question. She didn't have to read anything at all for that situation.
 

rav3n

.
Joined
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Messages
11,655
Uncertain about your ex boss but the man in the elevator sounds like a Se dom or aux.
 

OrangeAppled

Sugar Hiccup
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Mar 20, 2009
Messages
7,626
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
As far as type goes, I think it can be about what the person is reading about (body language, "vibes", etc).
Se-dom are supposed to be good at reading people (that's why they are the stereotypical salespeople).
Fi-dom are supposed to be good at picking up on internal emotions/feelings.

I could go on..... I can see all the P functions having their strengths in being aware of certain info & the F functions for evaluating the emotional side of things, so I'd say Te & Ti are probably the most dense (but that's just a generalization based on theory).

Of course, individuals of these types may be crappy at reading people, but if an individual does read people well, then they may have a "method" related to their type.

Also, I think people read others well when they think somewhat like they do. I mean, it's easier to read someone if you can identify with them. So people may feel their own type reads them well... I know I usually can pick up on what Fi-dom feel pretty easily. I've certainly been fooled by an ESTP though.
 

Tofu562

New member
Joined
Nov 5, 2009
Messages
90
MBTI Type
ENFP
My father is an ENTP, and I am an ENFP... We both accuse each other of being better at reading people, lol
 

HiddenAutumn

New member
Joined
Jan 24, 2011
Messages
66
MBTI Type
INFJ
I dunno, maybe I'm misinterpreting but I can picture most people reading you correctly in these two situations and just not saying anything (it's often very easy to see when someone doesn't like a job or doesn't like someone -and it's rarely a good idea to say anything!)

Especially the first example, I mean you outright told her that you hated the job with your response to a small-talk kind of question. She didn't have to read anything at all for that situation.

I didn't tell her I hated the job. I actually said, yeah I like it, it's just not my dream job. And she wasn't just making small talk 'cause she asked me several times and looked concerned. I think the reason I assume most people can't read me is because even some of my best friends can't tell when I'm upset or hurt. Even if I drop hints. With my ex-boss I was just very aloof, but I tend to think shy people don't like me because they often act so indifferent and serious, so it makes sense that she might interpret things the same way with me.
 
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