I think that real love is easy and should not be earned nor worked for.
It comes to you from kindness and never from a fair weathered person.
Tough love is just an excuse to project anger and frustration on your child or
someone who is on drugs because you refuse to show unconditional love,
because you are impatient and you give up because nothing seems to work..
Ultimately, what most very sensitive people need is the love they need that works for them, and not what works for everyone else.
Why would the word tough even have a connection with love when love has such a kind meaning with no harm in it's intent?
I hear "Don't enable your child for his bad behavior"
How would a parent enable their daughter if she got pregnant at 16?
Why can't they sit their daughter down and explain to her that they love her
and she can choose what she wants. I think abortion exists for parents who decide not to take responsibility to support their children emotionally.
Children need support when they're growing up, because some of them grow up feeling unloved and bitter. When I would cry about something, my mother would slap my hand or my mouth or my face, or my dad would put his hand over my mouth and he would tell me to shut the fuck up because my crying was annoying.
I was crying, for whatever reason it was happening for, I was still hurting and getting me to shut up just meant that it was "tough love" in his eyes, when it was abuse. I was a kid but I was still a human and deserved to express my emotions. Since, I've felt as though I've had to quiet my cries because they annoy people.
When I hear someone crying, I have this need and instinct to rush to them and hold them, their sobbing is felt through me like lightning striking. I can't ignore it. It's painful for me and they need someone, they don't need to be turned away.
Neglecting your child because they stress you out with their ''problems" or tears and stress is not tough love- That is neglect and failing to be there for them. I don't care if you're in a wheel chair. If you can talk, if you can listen, then you can love. You don't have to hug or touch them.
Words can impact a person who is in pain, so be careful and it's never as easy as; "Get over it" or "It's not the end of the world" For some, it is the end of the world. People die because their feelings are invalidated and they're given tough love. Love is never tough.
Love is Love.