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[Fi] Fi + Conflict Discussion (All Welcome, BBYB*)

FunnyDigestion

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Mar 18, 2011
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I don't know, that seems like way too many words. You'd walk around for days memorizing it from a sheet of paper, & when the moment comes to finally look them in the eyes & talk it burbles out as mangled incomprehensible sentence fragments thereby giving you days of agonizing about a fresh subject, your social awkwardness & ineptitude... then you'd record a blues album.
 

Santosha

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sx
I don't know, that seems like way too many words. You'd walk around for days memorizing it from a sheet of paper, & then it'd come out as mangled incomprehensible sentence fragments thereby giving you days of agonizing about a fresh subject, your social awkwardness & ineptitude... then you'd record a blues album.

Do INFP's find it difficult to conjur up filler words on the spot? This is something I've always been able to do, while knowing the base concepts I need to convey.
 

FunnyDigestion

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I can do it just so long as I'm not talking about anything actually important.
 

Santosha

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I can do it just so long as I'm not talking about anything actually important.

And then what happens? Yes, I'm serious. Both my brother and boyfriend are strong I's, and it just baffles me when they are unable to articulate what is on their mind. Is it like too much to limit to words, or inability to find the right words, or that it would take too long to verbalize all the connections to correctly convey so you just don't try?
 

FunnyDigestion

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And then what happens? Yes, I'm serious. Both my brother and boyfriend are strong I's, and it just baffles me when they are unable to articulate what is on their mind. Is it like too much to limit to words, or inability to find the right words, or that it would take too long to verbalize all the connections to correctly convey so you just don't try?

I get it out eventually, but usually lose 30-60% of what I was trying to say (while sometimes adding whole chunks of new irrelevant stuff, up to 200% by volume)-- & usually just fidget around & mumble like a whole doofus.

Usually it's just because I'm not used to talking about serious stuff with people.
 

mmhmm

meinmeinmein!
Joined
Jul 6, 2010
Messages
2,280
if i'm not up for it, i'd just excuse myself when she wants to complain.
 

wolfy

awsm
Joined
Jun 30, 2008
Messages
12,251
It's a combination of saying what you want, what's on your mind and being aware of feedback.

I have no bunnies. Here is my daughter's hamster.

DSCN2993Small.jpg
 

21%

You have a choice!
Joined
May 15, 2009
Messages
3,224
MBTI Type
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It's just about being honest and straightforward. If I buy your stuff, I'll have way too much to carry for 1 person. Therefore, sorry my friend, can't help you today. Unless you want to come with me and we'll do it together! Otherwise, I'll be on my way now. Buh bye!

But that will create confrontation, and that's a huge no-no for feelers :cry:

I've observed my thinker friends and I really admire their grace and confidence in saying no. Haven't figured out their trick quite yet.

Guy: I know a restaurant with really great live seafood and I can take you there.
ESTP girl: Uh, I don't think so. Live seafood gives me the creeps *laughs* I gotta go now, bye *walks away*

That's something I will never be able to pull off :blush:
 
A

Anew Leaf

Guest
And then what happens? Yes, I'm serious. Both my brother and boyfriend are strong I's, and it just baffles me when they are unable to articulate what is on their mind. Is it like too much to limit to words, or inability to find the right words, or that it would take too long to verbalize all the connections to correctly convey so you just don't try?

It depends on what kind of mood I am in. If I am in heavy Fi mode, I want to be left alone usually. I am not interested in verbalizing what amounts to nothing important being said.

If I am feeling pretty Ne-boingy, then I have no problem. I amaze myself at my own hilarious wit and banter (this sounds horribly narcissitic, but if you take it from the viewpoint that my primary mode is silent and contemplative and let's think things through ten times before we even dare look at saying them... then it makes more sense).

I can handle small talk to some extent (God how I hate it) since my job requires I do this with my customers. By the end of the day though I think "I swear to God, I will pop the next person to comment on the weather, or how green the grass looks." When I am like this I literally cannot think of anything to say.

Like, I just had my best friend come visit for 2 weeks. I love her to death, but she drove me insane towards the end. She wanted to talk FOR HOURS about basically nothing. I was at my wit's end because there was nothing for me to grab onto in the conversational arena, so I got very, very, very quiet. And I hated that because I was glad she was there, it was just that I was literally out of things to say in response to what she was saying. Two weeks of "I ate grapes last week", "here is a picture of some food I bought", "So I was telling Jim about what Mary said and then Trent came over and was like holy banana pie! And then Jim said..." and my brain could no longer cope.
 

Coriolis

Si vis pacem, para bellum
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And then what happens? Yes, I'm serious. Both my brother and boyfriend are strong I's, and it just baffles me when they are unable to articulate what is on their mind. Is it like too much to limit to words, or inability to find the right words, or that it would take too long to verbalize all the connections to correctly convey so you just don't try?
For me, the difficulty in verbalizing ideas sometimes comes from the fact that I just see so much at once in my mind. It is multifaceted, several thought streams woven together. I see them from all angles at once almost visually. The prospect of trying to convert all that into words is daunting, especially for someone with whom I have not discussed related material before, and who has no context. I know how much effort it will take, how much time, and how what seems in my mind so clear and meaningful will just end up a longwinded, convoluted jumble when put into words without adequate preparation.
 

entropie

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Conflict is the sole child of reasonable anger and uncontrolled rage. It should be commenced with a precise and devastating attack, lasting one second, depriving the land of all life and leaving behind glimmering ashes and burning rock.

If that doesnt happen, it will feast on you, slowly from the inside to the outside, until you're gone
 
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