I get what you're saying. I think my problem is that I establish patterns with certain people, and then I get stuck adhering to them even when I don't want to. I don't want to listen to my friend complain about this, and I don't want to be upset about it, but I feel trapped in not saying anything because that is what I have always done with her.
This is just one example to illustrate my main point. But it would be a good step in the right direction for me.
So maybe I just need to (gulp) be more assertive and (meh) speak my mind? Is that the key?! *downs spinach juice*