Hi this my first post! Im dylexic so please bear with the spelling and Grammer its not great.
This is a bit of a long story but I will try and give you the juicy bits to keep it short, please questions of you need to know more
Im 28 and my ENFP male freind is 32. A year ago I moved into his house as he rents his rooms out. We met and we clicked. We have tons in common were both playful and and share the same sence of humour.
He flirted with me a LOT!!!!! Touching, complimets, eye contact. I did not recpicate as I was in a relationship (very on the rocks) and it take me ages to decide if Im attracted to somone. However I am by my nature very playful but not flirty so the experience was a lot of fun!
A couple of times early on Im pretty sure he tried it on when drunk BUT as my landlord It felt wronge and I didnt bite. Nothing was said exactly I just pulled away, he also seems to not know what he's doing.
Over time I began to develop feelings for him and it was clear to me that guy was agreat match and very special. like I said it take me ages to work stuff like that out.
In the mean time I disagreed with him on somthing (small) and he blew it up, we spoke about it and I made sure there was full closure he asured me there was. He treated me diffrently from that point. Rude, uniterested, taking me granted treating me second class as if Im not a lady or intlegent of which I am both (he's dyslexic too so its not that) almost refuting my my feminity snappy and very flaky. This hurt my feelings a lot and was hard to live with, even more confusing is he would intergect this with being overly nice, wanting to engage me socialy and a what can only described as a painfull look.
We get on great we click and yet the undertones were upsetting and got to me, he basicaly treated me a bit shit and it got noticed by our friends livng in the house. I was so upset about the way I was treated and he wouldnt talk about it, he is impossibe to talk to, so i had to do via email. He then told me he was sorry and that he had put 2 and t tothgeter and got 10 and put me down in his esimation, he then said I was 'special' CONFUSING OR WHAT!!!!
Now I take 'special' as a person that means a lot to me and to tell them that means Im telling them how I feel because I feel more them than I do most people. he did this just as he went off traveling
He came back things were good he was flirting and then he started being shitty again. I popped, hurt, cunfused and fed up I sent him a big long email explaing i cannot maintian a friendship like that. Im an introvert and I 'need' lots of people and don't need that and I dont need him can he just be nice and thats it.
he evicted me I assumed becuse i was out of order mabe I was, ad having lost him and happy for the closure that was it game over. Iv upset him end of ordeal, when the tears are over I will just move on.
He then started texting me again text that other people have seen and said are sexual and flirty and then he started being realy nice to me.
I moved out, we met up with scoialy I was so confused I could hardly talk to him. I needed closure so I sent him an email told how i felt. I told him I was sorry i critsed him so badly but tht my feelings were hurt and that I think hes great and wonder if feels the same becasue he flirts with a lot.
He said no he's not interested, BUT Im very attarctive funny clever and creative WTF why say that?? I have guys interested in me I dont need the let down gently he knows this!
I was gald for the closure at least. BUT It doese not make sence.
He refuses to answer the question of weather he ever faniced me, so none of what hes done has made sence
I really like him and I know we would be great togther everybody that know us both including his family say this.
I would be happy to be freinds and no more BUT like I said I dont feel close enough to him to be freinds there are big gaps and hr confuses me
ALso he's started flirting again!!! subtly throuhgh facebook hes very busy at the moment.
This guy is a cereal dater, he seems shallow and only like model types he seems not care for personality. This bothers me a lot he seems to have scewed view of women
He has drawn massive incorrect conclusion about who I am and what Im about and I need to correct this inorder to be friends with him
So basicaly what i wnat to know is any insight!
the last point highlighted is very important to me. This great guy is going to get door slammed and he will feel hurt, but I cannot be friends with some one that thinks Im somthing Im not
I also cannot be friends with somone that flirts with me that much, but his freind ship means a lot to me.
Questions: How can you make an ENFP see you for who you are? I act as I am he just doese not or refuses to see it
Do ENFP's lie about liking somone?
he eveicted me out of his house away from freinds and with nowhere to go. Im still hurt by this since there is not closure. Closure on that for me is to door slam him, BUT he started being really nice to me so I couldn't. How do I get closure from somone who doesn't know what closure is?
Once an ENFP as made up their mind is that it forever?
Thanks and sorry its a long one!