[INFP] INFPs & attracting broken people....& then not anymore

[❀༺♥༻ℭ𝔞𝔢𝔩𝔦𝔞_𝔄𝔦𝔰𝔩𝔦𝔫𝔤༺♥༻❀༺]

I think in the past I attracted "normal" people, and I still do, but as I've gotten older I attract more damaged/lonely people. I don't mind that at all though. Broken people are not less because they've been hurt or damaged, brokenness can even be beautiful to me. I think they have the greatest capacity for love that I've ever seen. And they appreciate the good in their life because they've known sadness. I've been told that I'm a good listener, a calming and comforting/understanding person, & I suppose I do give off a quiet but friendly vibe, so I guess that's why they approach me maybe?

Really toxic/manipulative people however, I try to stay away from. I feel they deserve the same thing as everyone else, but they need help & support that I can't provide, and sticking around them isn't good for my own health/wellbeing.

I also give the benefit of the doubt and can "over-empathize" or exercise what I call "misplaces sympathy". Sometimes this means allowing someone in my life that I should've rejected from the get-go. It's not always pity, but willingness to put up with a lot of crap from someone if I determine something else that's valuable about them.

^ This resonates sooo much. I believe everyone deserves a chance to see their value, to feel love, to become better people. And I want to show them that there's more than what they're experiencing, so I put up with things I might not like because I'm focused on seeing the potential, what they could become. But I have to learn sometimes people just take advantage of empathy, and there's nothing I can do for them no matter how much I want to. Even when I think I should leave, a part of me thinks "they could seriously be hurting, you can't abandon them" "they don't have anyone else" "It would be cruel" etc. But it's not wrong or selfish to cut out toxic people from your life.

 

[Population: 1]

I don’t think I just attract them I think I am also attracted to them. The thing is it’s not like they’re blatantly broken either. My subconscious seems very adept at picking the ones that hide it well. I remember reading once that we all have a checklist for potential mates and some of the items we’re aware of and some are stealthy preferences. A preference for women with dark hair for example, or green eyes are things I’m aware of. Then there are the criteria we aren’t aware that we check off on our lists. Those are the items that get us in trouble. Then I wonder if I am exhibiting signs that they check off on their lists subconsciously. We’re hopelessly pulled to one another by signals we don’t recognize consciously. Shrug.