Him: Do you love me?
Me: Yep! I love you!
Him: Why do you love me?
Me: *gives a couple reasons*
Him: Oh... well, you're way too good for me... I don't deserve you... You shouldn't love me.
I also dated an INTJ for a few years... and that was kind of an exercise in frustration. I see where INTPness is coming from in that regard. I think I was told I was loved about one time a year. "yay, it's my birthday, I get to hear one nice thing about myself!!!....sad face." Fi + Fi =/= <3 always.
I think there just has to be a happy medium for both people. It isn't a good relationship if no one ever says, "Yo Ah luvz you babah," but it's also not so much fun if you are forced into saying it constantly because the other person has low self esteem.
I always WANT to express my emotions and feelings to people but I hold back because I am not sure they want to hear what I have to say. So I must wait in anxious agony for the day when I feel safe enough to do so.
In the context of a relationship (since we keep going back to this as an example) - I have a hard time initially showing deep affection/verbalizing emotion, but once I feel like it's "ok" to do so... and we are both on the same page, then I *think* I am pretty affectionate. At least I try to be. Initially it is very nice to have it shown/verbalized to me because then it's like the sun rising in Fi Land. I is happy. And sometimes you just feel so much you gotta let it out. And that is probably very startling for people, haha.
If you take the Fe expressiveness and put a veil in front of it, you have Fi. It's just extremely difficult at times to verbalize what's going on. Because inside I *know* intimately all that I want to say and how I feel... and I want to precisely explain/show/whatever to the other person... but it can get lost in translation, or I can start rambling (like I am doing now) and that feels like disaster.
So I ends this post.
P.S. Edit: I also think it is unhealthy Fi that can't speak up ever.
Truly. The. End. Now.