[NF] Thin grasp on reality, Mwah?

[CrystalViolet]

This isn't a "woe is me" thread.
I recently got accused of having a thin grasp of reality by my boss. It upset me, of course. My boss doesn't exactly mince words.
I am finding myself becoming increasingly detached from people 'round here though. I have nothing in common with folks round here what so ever, and it's becoming more and more apparent.
This accusation came about when I was explaining the concept of the i-ching to a work mate (she did ask) and the theory behind the predictions of 2012 associated with it. I don't know if my boss freaks out about stuff like that, or what, but the accusation came very shortly after that. I know one other work mate gets VERY upset if I talk about anything less than concrete (and that seems to translate to anything she doesn't understand.)
I'm curious, have any of y'all experienced this? I am a fairly fanciful person, granted, but I had considered myself able to be realistic. I'm actually nihilistic really.
Any way, comments, and suggestion are appreciated. I'm just wondering if this is just a big red flag telling me to move on.

 

[CrystalViolet]

I think maybe I'm talking more about disconnection. I'm not exactly lonely, yet people seem to experience reality differently from me here. It's kind of an intellectual isolation.

 

[Meek]

I think your boss is dumb. Doesn't get you and assumes you're a huge day dreamer and a waste of time because they can't grasp onto that you're merely different- Not screwed up. If your boss can't appreciate you, try to find a better place where people will.

Which I admit is fucking hard to find. It's difficult knowing you have to work at a place in order to keep your living space etc and to eat, to survive, even if it means killing your mental spirits. I hate it.

 

[Meek]

I've been in your shoes numerous times, btw. You can express this to you boss, how everyone has a different personality and they will agree but they won't really believe it. It goes back to treating you like a slave and like you need to "get with the program" lols.

 

[knight]

people are gonna have different interest. Im sure that if you and they wanted, something of mutual interest can be found to talk about.

 

[Meek]

people are gonna have different interest. Im sure their interest vary among themselves, Im also sure that if those people wanted, they can find something of mutual interest to talk about.

I wouldn't think so in this case. If his boss has made up his mind, that his worker has a thin grasp on reality- Most bosses don't care about talking with their workers even if they have something to talk about. At the end of the day, his narrow minded boss will still think that about him.

 

[knight]

opinions sometimes change day to day. even a boss. if you are doing a banged up job and are on top of things, Im sure he is going to be happy. if you show the capacity to grow,be competent and prove you are reliable then he is not going to care about the conversation they had, maybe also look at how she gets along with the people at work, is she amiable. I dont think its going to effect her job, unless she lets it and starts spazzing out. again, just keep be mindful that people don`t share the same interest and Im sure you don`t have to set aside your authentic self to find something mutually interesting for both you and the other person to talk about

 

[BAJ]

This isn't a "woe is me" thread.
I recently got accused of having a thin grasp of reality by my boss. It upset me, of course. My boss doesn't exactly mince words.
I am finding myself becoming increasingly detached from people 'round here though. I have nothing in common with folks round here what so ever, and it's becoming more and more apparent.
This accusation came about when I was explaining the concept of the i-ching to a work mate (she did ask) and the theory behind the predictions of 2012 associated with it. I don't know if my boss freaks out about stuff like that, or what, but the accusation came very shortly after that. I know one other work mate gets VERY upset if I talk about anything less than concrete (and that seems to translate to anything she doesn't understand.)
I'm curious, have any of y'all experienced this? I am a fairly fanciful person, granted, but I had considered myself able to be realistic. I'm actually nihilistic really.
Any way, comments, and suggestion are appreciated. I'm just wondering if this is just a big red flag telling me to move on.

It seems like I saw a program on TV about this one time, but I forgot what it was exactly. Convergent sources seemed to suggest something is going to happen Dec. 21, 2012.

But, yes, I feel isolated by all sorts of different things. My whole family disdains MBTI theory, for example. They don't care. They don't want to hear it.

This is similarly true at work about many things.

I feel really weird and isolated, like I've reached some unexplored new existential plain. I feel really strange. Work is weird too; it seems production is much less lucky this year as well. Maybe it's global warming. Maybe gremlins. Actually I think I know but have difficulty to express. I feel...foreboding.

Again...this is not a "poor, poor BAJ" thread either. Actually I feel pretty serene.

 

[CrystalViolet]

I feel I worded this all wrong. My boss is actually very supportive most of the time, and I am very good at my job. Truth is I have a better grasp of the day to day realities of my job, than most of the staff under me. I think what frustrates my boss is that fact that I churn out a whole of ridiculous ideas interspersed with very good ideas, hence his nickname for me " the space cadet". Not to mention, I think my collegues understand me less and less with each passing day, and we are close knit team. Some thing I have noticed though, is these guys don't like things pointed out to them. They can go about thier daily bussiness, ignoring the elephant in the room, and call me out when I stumble blindly right into him. People generally come to learn, I'm pretty good at predicting how people interact, and what the possible consquences will be. I'm a born trouble shooter, but here, I'm consigned to the crazy eccentric corner. It's exhausting, watching people stumbling round blindly, because one, I'm not from round here, so my advice counts for nothing; two, I can't see it therefore what you are telling me doesn't exsist.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not in the habit of discussing things like i-ching (my collegue asked me, because she knows I'm fairly well informed about these things), but for goodness sake, they don't have pilates/yoga classes round here because of it's fruity overtones. It's been a long time since I lived in a small town....am I just dealing with small town attitudes, or am I just dealing with slow and creeping personality incompatibility.
I don't particularly like the accusation of space cadet, especially when if I get any more aquainted with the realities of life, I might as well just kill myself with the hopelessness of it all.

 

[knight]

small town. Im really really sorry about that.

as for the nick name, next time he calls you it, smile at him, look him in the eyes and tell him the nickname or name you preferred to be called, then ask him what he needs you to do. something like that. change the subject to something else, so it wont look like you want to kick his arse.


so you transferred because of work to the small town?

 

[CrystalViolet]

Actually last time he called me space cadet to my face, I basically called him an ill bred illerate, and I think he realised he hurt my feelings.
I'm going on annual leave next week, and I will be considering a transfer while I'm away. I grew up in a small town, I foregot what it was like, and the reason why I left in the first place.

 

[BAJ]

I think this is much of my problem as well.

I like quiet, but living on a farm in rural area is difficult. I wrote someone about it, and they suggested the problem was not me...it was where I lived.

 

[CrystalViolet]

I visit friends a lot. An acquaintance, last time I visited my BFF, told me to get out while I still had a soul left, LOL. It was definitely easier socially in the city, the thing is I have a lot financial benefits here, where as in the city, it's expensive to live. I realize a fair amount of this really has very little to do with me, and is a reflection of the culture in town. I arrived here, after the failure of my first business, and I wasn't particularly open when I first got here. That and a very unfortunate run in with one of the local girls saw to it I was basically ostracized (I don't want to get into that, but I was back in high school for a while.)

 

[Synapse]

Strangely I don't have this problem. Oh_kay I do. I started talking to a friend at work tactfully about quantum shifts and synchronicity and alternative stuff and friend started blinking then I went to my normal hows work conversation, testing limits and seeing what kind of territory my geeky friend was willing to explore. Pfft apparently I out nerded, geeked and dorked him.

But hay I have that problem everywhere. This happens with my friends and family too. This also happens with friends that are up to speed in their alternative ways sometimes. Why yes I received a wow from my long time meditation instructor, and a talk human from my Reiki friend. And blabbity blabbity blah.

 

[CrystalViolet]

When did it stop being cool to be a geek?
I declare we should have a geektopia land, where all geeks and nerds are granted automatic citizenship after passing a exam and practical on thier choosen expertise. Small talk shall be banned and nice golden tans will be looked upon with suspcion (unless that's your natural coloring). We will have public holidays celebrating land mark novels and shows, I'm voting for LOTR and Buffy.

 

[skylights]

It's been a long time since I lived in a small town....am I just dealing with small town attitudes, or am I just dealing with slow and creeping personality incompatibility.

i don't do small towns.

when i was first really getting into MBTI stuff, i read somewhere that N was about possibility and S about reality. essentially that N was about the unreal and S was about the real. and i had the thought: goddammit, as an N dominant, i'm as far removed from reality as i can be. i'm isolated. space cadet! but no, this is not really true. i just see the same things through a different lens than others. i'm like the person who focuses on the negative space in a picture. what's not there is just as tangible as what's there, it's just that many people don't focus on it. but the negative space is important because it's where you can put new things. fringe ideas are important because they're where new knowledge lies.

I think what frustrates my boss is that fact that I churn out a whole of ridiculous ideas interspersed with very good ideas

yeah. same here. it can help to just keep a running list of funny ideas to yourself and work to refine the good ones more before presenting them. or just reminding yourself on a steady basis how much smarter you are jk. but for me, what keeps me running at work when others don't like my "crazy" ideas is me secretly implementing them and then kicking back and enjoying watching as they succeed. that said, i'm trying to get out of my current job. too stifling. they don't like any deviation whatsoever from the way The Big Book of Corporate Rules says things should be (for instance, signs must point perfectly forward, under no circumstances may they be angled) and it's driving me nuts. too much focus on keeping things the same same same and not enough room to innovate and make things personal and appealing. too much money and not enough heart.

i hate to say it sounds like it's time for you to move on, but i think you know that already. onward and upward. the only thin grasp you have is on what reality is to your boss, not what it is to the rest of the world. if you're a space cadet, might as well move on up to space exploration and other, bigger things. somewhere there is a big community of fellow geeks waiting to welcome you with open arms...

 

[Santosha]

This is an interesting read to me. I was told by an old boss at a financial firm that "I use my powers for the dark side".. WTF is that? He basically told me that I was smart and skilled enough to move much higher in the company, if I would just channel my energy into it instead of social chaos. =D (What he meant is that if I put on a business face and played the corporate ladder climbing game, I could go far.) And I was only about 22 at the time. Okay, so to be honest.. I had worked at the company for a few years but grew really bored with it. I had made quite a few friends there, and kinda stirred things up from time to time for amusement. Never any thing hurtful, its not like I pitted people against eachother or started rumors.. But I was really good at getting the under dogs to realize how they were being exploited, and rise up against management. I always did it in ways that couldn't be connected back to me directly. Fuck, I was still a kid at that point, and it made the day go by quicker.

I guess I'm not sure what exactly you are concerned with though. Is it that he called you a name? Or that your co-workers are dim and uninteresting? TBH, I have just come to accept this dynamic in careers... maybe that is pretty sad, I dunno. You can't expect people to be as deep as you are. It just isn't going to happen alot. I have maybe 5-6 friends over the course of my life that I keep in touch with for such matters. So what if your co-workers are lame. Small sample rate, don't ya think? Ofcourse, if your in a really small town and can't seem to find anyone to connect with, I think you probably should look at getting yourself into a bigger area. Being an Island is a sure fire way to become depressed.

 

[CrystalViolet]

Ah, basically my boss put words to some thing I've been feeling for a long time, or rather he brought the problem to the fore front. I guess I'm just venting my frustration at this place too. I'm also trying to work out if I'm doing my usual thing of getting bored and frustrated, or am I dealing with a fundemental problem of mine. Or if it's even me.