I've been thinking more about the OP's guidelines. The 'rules' might sound rigid, but I think actually there are only a couple of underlying things that are vital and perhaps INFJ-specific.
I'm never good at objective guidelines, so I'll share what I feel is important to me. Here goes a rather subjective take on what INFJs are like in relationships
This is probably the core of every relationship, but I seem to have a slightly unhealthy tendency to focus all my energy on it that all other factors become puny trivialities. I can be emotionally high-maintenance, but that's because I need to feel emotionally connected to you all the time. However, I'm not hard to handle if you know how. I know it's different for everyone, but actually all I need is talking. I don't care what we talk about, but talk to me. Share your ideas. Tell me how you are feeling. Ultimately, I want to understand everything about you, and I wish you would want to completely understand me as well, and then we can grow together, and become one whole unit of love and fuzziness. Anger outbursts, storming out on disagreements, not picking up your phone and not calling back, silent treatments, passive-aggressive responses when we try to fix things, defensive hurtful words, all these things indicate that you are shutting me out. The emotional connectedness is broken, and if that doesn't get fixed very soon or if it keeps happening, the relationship is no more.
I remember reading somewhere a long time ago about how INFJs want the "perfect relationship" and they will end the relationship if it falls short of their ideals. At that time I thought it was totally not true. Over time, though, I started to realize they might be on to something. Once I think about it, I have to admit that I'm not very good at "enjoying the journey". I do enjoy the journey, but only as long as it leads somewhere. However, I don't have the concrete definitions of what a "perfect relationship" is either, except that ultimately we should be able to achieve that mutual understanding and growth. So, there is definitely room for adjustments. I think a lot of INFJs will end a relationship if we don't see it going anywhere, such as when we perceive that the other party is uncommunicative or unwilling to move towards mutual understanding. The problem is, sometimes we forget to tell people this, and perhaps sometimes we are not even really conscious of this need in ourselves. More concrete examples would be people who don't know what kind of life they want and cannot say if they want the same thing, people who after years are still unsure about the relationship and still talk about hypothetical future partners, people who seem to be trying to keep their options open without including the INFJ in the picture -- this is very threatening to the INFJ's sense of direction and they usually end up leaving because they see no happy ending at the end of the road.
INFJs are very guarded. There are layers and layers and layers of guardedness. We are also easily spooked and we over-analyze everything. Because we have our eyes on the ultimate connection, anything that threatens that will be spotted and immediately 'fixed'. Ni also partly tries to foresee trends, so for us, "little things" are indicative of hidden "big issues". For example, one time my friends and I were discussing make-up, and I said that ideally no one should feel like they have to put on make-up. A guy friend laughed and said "Oh, but some women really need make-up", and I found that comment very disturbing and I secretly questioned his respect for women in general. We fret over these seemingly little things, and again, most of the time we will not tell you about it unless we know you fairly well and trust you or until we have found more information to support or eradicate our doubt.
A lot of people have mentioned INFJs' "high standards/expectations" and how INFJs try to "change" or "fix" them. I think I have already included that in my three points, but I feel I should elaborate a little more.
Actually it's not as much "high standards/expectations" as "growth", really -- and mutual growth at that. That's the only thing that matters. INFJs might seem pushy and judgy when something is not moving towards that growth, but I can assure you that with understanding, the judging is much, much less. So make sure you talk a lot and don't let conflicts go unresolved.
Once you're 'in', just be prepared for a lot of loving