06-21-2011, 07:02 PM #11
06-21-2011, 07:04 PM #12violaineGuest
Funnily enough, INTPs are the type I seem to fit with best and without too much work.
06-21-2011, 07:06 PM #13
- Join Date
- May 2009
- 6w7 sx
- SEE Fi
06-21-2011, 07:18 PM #14
With me, it's a matter of trust... knowing that the person won't do anything to put me in harm's way. I need to be with someone who I feel at ease with, and can be myself with. But it takes time for each layer of armor to come off. The right people I feel like I can be more vulnerable with, and quite easy-going If someone betrays that trust, I end up ducking behind the walls again.
Janea, your point about criticism hits home for me. If it's delivered nicely, calmly, and gently, I can deal with it. But if someone rips into me and pokes my own personal faults (which I am already self-critical about anyway!), it hurts, and I can get irritable.
Relationships INFJs are like handling a rose... we may be wall-flowers clinging onto the trellises, but if you hold us gently, you won't get pricked back, and you'll be rewarded with sweetness.
06-21-2011, 07:19 PM #15
06-21-2011, 07:20 PM #16
Maybe I'm trying to make light of things because it's a little sad thinking of myself as being this high maintenance in a relationship....but really, I don't think any of these things are all that different than what most people need, want, and expect from their relationships. Perhaps it's taken a bit to the extreme in some cases because INFJs are sensitive and care a lot... and I think when you combine the N with the F, there can been some pretty intense need to feel connected & understood emotionally. But that's what makes relationships with INFJs so fulfilling at the same time!
06-21-2011, 08:13 PM #17
I am getting the feeling that you have to sign a contract and formalize it before you can date an infj
06-21-2011, 08:45 PM #18
I can only hope I find someone someday who cares enough about me to write a user's manual.
06-22-2011, 09:14 AM #19
Also again as long as you are a decent human being I am pretty easy-going, I am not going to criticise you or desperately try to change you because you are who you are and based on how well I click with that I will let you into my inner cirlce or not.
However it's true that if someone has broken my trust or thinks they can take me for a ride they are in trouble, at first I will be watching if there is more questionable behaviour coming or if that was just a one-off (which is often forgiveable), if the person turns out to have a bad character they will be cut off very swiftly or treated with the superficial, standoffish friendliness normally only reserved for strangers.
06-22-2011, 10:53 PM #20
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