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Thread: Mixed signals

  1. #11
    Senior Member Sizzling Berry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nebbykoo View Post
    It depends on the nature of the relationship.
    If you reply to the subconscious stuff, they may just deny it anyway, so you haven't gained anything. But I would only reveal that you think sometihngis amiss when you feel secure in the relationship. There is no single behavior that will tell you is someone is hiding something. It's a constellation. But for most people and situations, you don't need to know the details, only that something is incongruent...
    My ENFJ friend adds that with strangers without the strong bond between you and them you have two options:

    a) you tell what you see and end it or freeze it in consequence

    b) you wait until the relation develops and until then you go with the "oficial" version.

    Maybe it also depends on the seriousness of the difference - in what area it comes. What's your opinion ?
    Hot-hearted head

  2. #12
    Lay the coin on my tongue SilkRoad's Avatar
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    Historically I have fallen in love with people who give me mixed signals. I've realized that I actually hate mixed signals, and that these people are just messing with me, so I'm trying not to do that any more
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  3. #13
    You have a choice! 21%'s Avatar
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    When I see mixed signals I always assume the worst

    Relationship-wise, I don't think people intentionally send mixed signals -- it's just because of their internal conflict between being safe and mustering the courage to stick your neck out there to see how the other person feels. Of course, it should stop as soon as you know for sure the other person likes you.
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  4. #14
    Senior Member copperfish17's Avatar
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    I realized that I tend to brush off mixed signals... For the most part, I assume that people mean exactly what they say. The biggest reason for that is: I always assume that I CAN'T assume what the other person is really thinking. I could always be wrong when I try to "interpret" the other person's "signals". Besides, I myself tend to give people the wrong impression sometimes (okay, preeetty often), and it's certainly not intentional.

    Of course, if I have good reason to believe the other person doesn't mean what they say, I'll go investigate.

    Intentional mixed-signals are big red flags for me.
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  5. #15
    Senor Membrane
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    Hmm... It isn't rare that people are unsure of what they are doing. It's hard to tell if someone is actually being dishonest or if they are just confused. So, I guess that for a while I don't take it too seriously, but I won't take it forever. There's always a reason for mixed signals.

  6. #16
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    It depends, it can be fun or flirty in the beginning, but it can get old if it's too extreme.

    On the other hand, some people just aren't openly expressive. It can be difficult if someone is spending a lot of time with you, or talking to you a lot, and seems to want a lot of attention, has showed obvious signs of physical attraction, is also a good friend, but shies away from overt displays of affection.

    For the above stated reasons, I tend to pay more attention to actions than words. Some people just can't or don't like to show things through words or whatever.

    Even after I started writing this I noticed that you also meant "mixed signals" with people in general, not just in a romantic or dating sense, and with that I'm going to have to agree with your friend...you just watch the person and see what adds up and you learn more about them. Again in that situation actions still speak louder than words.

    It's surprising how little I value words sometimes given how much I use them. I guess I give words more intellectual and less emotional weight.

  7. #17
    Senior Member Sizzling Berry's Avatar
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    Hmmm, interesting. If I could classify it... People with T preference say follow the words - that's what comes through intellect and decision making capacity. People with F preferences say make some allowances at the beginning/ for a conflict but then be careful and observe the actions. Interesting difference in perspective .

    @ 21% Me too, me too. I feel like that and I can't help it.

    @ Marmie Dearest Yep, Words can seem very cheap sometimes.

    @ nolla The most interesting is when you discover the rule or the way to connect all the threads of mixed signals - the reason - which shows that the mixed signals were real.

    @ SilkRoad They can be attractive for a short while but when uncertainty gets to a level... it's not that fun anymore at least for me. And some people can use it to get things for themselves in the relationship - blah - like using a machinegun to clean the dust.

    @ copperfish17 What would be a good reason?
    Hot-hearted head

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