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  1. #11
    Senior Member Viridian's Avatar
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    Question: if one is genuinely averse to hurting someone else's feelings, are they being "inauthentic" by doing something based on that feeling?

  2. #12
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    FTR, I think I want to give an example of what an SFJ perceives as "soulless" or "less of a core."

    My ESFJ ex thinks people who aren't loyal to their family and friends, and people who don't have sexual morals, who seperate their feelings and respect too much from their sexual behavior, are the people who have less of a soul. Also see: people who don't openly express their love and passion.

    Anybody can seem to have "less of a core" but people might have different opinions of what that constitutes. My ESFJ ex could think an ENFP who is a particularly big ho-bag has "less of a core" than him, even though they're being "true to themselves."

  3. #13
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    i'ld never say someone has less of core thats a debate i can only always loose. dont think nfps need to either. gosh typing on the smartphone is difficult xD
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

  4. #14
    Senior Member Santosha's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by entropie View Post
    Dont they mean by saying a type likes XY in those type descriptions that he is good at being the opposite as well ? And who on earth can safely say 'all the people around me were behavin unauthentic' ? Doesnt that put yourself on such a high pedastal that other people may wonder if you could get killed by the thin air ?!
    To the first question, I'm not sure. You might elaborate on why they would be good at the opposite behavior as well. I haven't come across this info.

    2nd question.. It is hard to post a discussion on sensing a lack of authenticity.. without it seeming like your putting yourself on a pedestall, it was not my intention. I do not perceive "all people in a work force or social setting as being inauthentic" by any means. I'm saying that it is my perception inauthenticity lies more in social settings and work settings, and I also have my own theories on why this might be. I believe I touched on the idea that authenticity IS a perception, and began looking at the definitions compared with NFP behavior. It is this inconsistency I am curious about.. along with other NFP perceptions.
    Man suffers only because he takes seriously what the gods made for fun - Watts

  5. #15
    Senior Member Santosha's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Qlippoth View Post
    I know more than one person who seems to in part the sum of what surrounds them. Their tastes their opinions is mostly a mirror of their environment. I've also seen them change when their environment changes. That's what I mean by having less of a core.
    I totally got where you were going with that, which is why I didn't pick at it. Could of used better words than "less of a core" lol. =P
    Man suffers only because he takes seriously what the gods made for fun - Watts

  6. #16
    Post Human Post Qlip's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by entropie View Post
    I am sorry but it isnt even bold no more to assume that person is completly honest with you, thats already dumb :/
    Sorry.. I didn't catch that. Rephrase?


    Anyway... Argg.. I'm such crappy communicator sometimes. If I continue to type I'm just gonna dig myself into a deep deep hole, but I can't leave it. Anyway, what I was trying to say is that I valued things that I considered to be a 'core' (personal terminology) which was what I associated with what was already laid out as authenticity. I noticed not everyone had it and incorrectly assumed I was superior. But in the end it was just a common case of misunderstanding how people worked and assuming the 'other' way was wrong. Also, It just so happens that I also have had run ins with people who wear very very big masks and change them very often.

    I dont' really think authenticity is universally paramount, though it is important personally to me.

  7. #17
    Senior Member Santosha's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Qlippoth View Post
    Sorry.. I didn't catch that. Rephrase.


    Anyway... Argg.. I'm such crappy communicator sometimes. If I continue to type I'm just gonna dig myself into a deep deep hole, but I can't leave it. Anyway, what I was trying to say is that I valued things that I considered to be a 'core' (personal terminology) which was what I associated with what was already laid out as authenticity. I noticed not everyone had it and incorrectly assumed I was superior. But in the end it was just a common case of misunderstanding how people worked and assuming the 'other' way was wrong. Also, It just so happens that I also have had run ins with people who wear very very big masks and change them very often.

    I dont' really think authenticity is universally paramount, though it is important personally to me.
    TBF, I understood where you were going with your "less of a core" idea.. meaning less internal reflection. Fi bases its values internally, Fe outwardly. I didn't see it as you saying "Fe's are just all empty shells of a human being" but your right.. you have to watch your words in these parts =P
    Man suffers only because he takes seriously what the gods made for fun - Watts

  8. #18
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    i am rembered of the time when bush called europe the axis of evil; meaning i dont think its good valuing people that way. this maybe a societal thing to do but its definitly not very humane or maybe it is, depends on how sarcastic you look at the world
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

  9. #19
    Senior Member Santosha's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Viridian View Post
    Question: if one is genuinely averse to hurting someone else's feelings, are they being "inauthentic" by doing something based on that feeling?
    Thats a good point.. variables like these seems to add to my confusion about the concept of authenticity. What do you think?
    Man suffers only because he takes seriously what the gods made for fun - Watts

  10. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by Viridian View Post
    Question: if one is genuinely averse to hurting someone else's feelings, are they being "inauthentic" by doing something based on that feeling?
    No, the way I see it, if you genuinely care about not hurting other people, if one of your biggest priorities is the way your loved ones feel, then you're not being inauthentic at all...you're doing what feels authentic to you, even if it means sometimes keeping quiet.

    I think it's inauthentic to pretend you care about someone you don't, though. The ISFJ I already mentioned says he nods and smiles at people he doesn't know well, but is more his true self about people he cares about. The thing is, I do that too and I'm not an SFJ. The primary difference is that I really don't give much of a damn about things like "being embarrassed in public" because my thinking is if those people don't matter to me, then what they think of me doesn't matter, while the ISFJ might genuinely think it's rude to subject other people to that.

    So neither way is less genuine. It's just a difference in prioritizing.

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