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  1. #31
    Senior Member Malkavia's Avatar
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    People find them too intense or "too much" when they stop their filter. The person backs off a little, which then hurts the ENFJ, etc...

  2. #32
    Senior Member Neutralpov's Avatar
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    Dang it. You have the owner's manual
    Last edited by Neutralpov; 07-04-2011 at 09:54 AM. Reason: apostrophe

  3. #33
    Senior Member Malkavia's Avatar
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    I stole it from my best friend when he wasn't looking.

  4. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by Malkavia View Post
    People find them too intense or "too much" when they stop their filter. The person backs off a little, which then hurts the ENFJ, etc...
    more intense than an ISFP's emotions ?????

  5. #35
    Senior Member Neutralpov's Avatar
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    Ohhh not the same. I have known and ISFP that the feelings seemed so deep they took forever to dispel. More depth and whole body integrated. Mine are more choleric and dispelled (to be fair I am an enneagram 1 so) and I can bounce back and be cheerful when I have a new activity to move my mind to or social time. I think ENFJ delivery is more choleric EJ and ISFP is internal suffering delivery and comes from within vibe. ISFPs take it out on their body in my experience. I cannot hold stuff in and get it out and do not do anything to my body except maybe workout or run off the anxiety. My feelings are more strong one time "bursting" I can't hold it in and feel relief when expressed. Other ENFJs should weigh in on this though.

  6. #36
    Senior Member Priori's Avatar
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    This is an interesting thread. I've always thought of my ENFJ's 'landminds' more as bread crumbs, and I've never been sure if she is aware that she throws out.

    I've seen her toss a few out for other people, but I'm the only one who knows how to follow the trail.

  7. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by Priori View Post
    This is an interesting thread. I've always thought of my ENFJ's 'landminds' more as bread crumbs, and I've never been sure if she is aware that she throws out.

    I've seen her toss a few out for other people, but I'm the only one who knows how to follow the trail.
    what did u do to follow her trail?

  8. #38
    nee andante bechimo's Avatar
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    My oldest friend is an ENFJ. We've been friends for 24 years. She still surprises me sometimes with things she's never directly told me. It's easier to use triangulation to figure her out, instead of asking or believing she's opened completely up.

  9. #39
    Senior Member Priori's Avatar
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    I listen to everything she says, and I mean really listen, watch her body language, facial expressions, tone of voice, even the word choices she makes. I listen not only when she talks to me, but when she talks to other people and pretty soon I developed a sense of when she wanted somebody to dig a little deeper into a seeming offhand comment, or just empathize with her over something etc.

    The real trick though, is to focus on her intensely for a while and then pretend to ignore her for a while least I give her too much power for too long. The mixed singals keep her attention and make sure she doesn't take me for granted.

    Also, I have to remind myself that I'm just as hot and intellegent as she is :P

  10. #40
    Senior Member Priori's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jenaphor View Post
    It's easier to use triangulation to figure her out, instead of asking or believing she's opened completely up.
    There will always be more bread crumbs to follow. Which I love exploring, but knowing I'll never be shown everything makes it bittersweet.

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