User Tag List

First 12

Results 11 to 15 of 15

  1. #11
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    4w5 sp/sx
    Socionics
    IEI Ni
    Posts
    7,661

    Default

    My INFJ bf just outright told me that he couldn't tell how I feel & needed me to express it more. It made me aware that I needed to lower my guard a bit if I am going to have a successful relationship, and that just because I feel something strongly doesn't make it obvious to others. Fi-dom turn feelings & emotions inward, and especially will they bask in a positive feeling internally, forgetting to communicate it. Don't prod or push him to express his feelings(or guilt-trip or cling), as that can backfire, but do let him know that you'd like him to be more expressive so you know where you two stand. Then drop it & give him time & a chance to meet your request.

    As for being slow-moving, INFPs can also mentally view the relationship as moving to another level, but again, forget to communicate that. This is because these intangible dynamics are very "visible" to us (and I'm sure ENFPs relate to that), almost as obvious as physical object in front of your face (if not more so at times). I saw my INFJ as my exclusive boyfriend after about 2 months of dating, and when I off-handedly referred to myself as his girlfriend one day, he was pleasantly surprised. I sort of took it for granted that it was obvious we were exclusive, but he needed to hear it from me & make it "official". I admit that I kind of have an "if I didn't love/like you, then I wouldn't be with you" attitude at times, and so I have to make a conscious effort to give verbal affirmation. So you might test the water at times with your INFP & be surprised to find out it's warmer than you imagined, and you can do that without seeming needy or pushy. It's not like the only two options are "suffer in silence" or "dramatically declare intense feelings".

    If you're an INFP also, then you might not be aware that your own feelings are not as obvious as you suppose either, so make sure to communicate what you are feeling too.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  2. #12
    lab rat extraordinaire CrystalViolet's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    MBTI
    XNFP
    Enneagram
    5w4 sx/sp
    Posts
    2,170

    Default

    You know I always thought this sort of stuff would be instinctive with two INFP in a relationship, or are you worrying about having babies? (sorry for my bluntness) I think if you are listening to the tick-tock of your bio clock, I think it's the fool proof way of making you panic, pushing too much resulting in the other person feeling pressured, and an INFP will bail. You know it, as you know you would bail in the same circumstances. So relax, just enjoy your partner for now. He's receptive and spending time with you. You're kinda in. Just be there, enjoying the moment.
    Currently submerged under an avalanche of books and paper work. I may come back up for air from time to time.
    Real life awaits and she is a demanding mistress.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  3. #13
    You have a choice! 21%'s Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    4w5
    Posts
    2,632

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    As for being slow-moving, INFPs can also mentally view the relationship as moving to another level, but again, forget to communicate that. This is because these intangible dynamics are very "visible" to us (and I'm sure ENFPs relate to that), almost as obvious as physical object in front of your face (if not more so at times). I saw my INFJ as my exclusive boyfriend after about 2 months of dating, and when I off-handedly referred to myself as his girlfriend one day, he was pleasantly surprised. I sort of took it for granted that it was obvious we were exclusive, but he needed to hear it from me & make it "official". I admit that I kind of have an "if I didn't love/like you, then I wouldn't be with you" attitude at times, and so I have to make a conscious effort to give verbal affirmation. So you might test the water at times with your INFP & be surprised to find out it's warmer than you imagined, and you can do that without seeming needy or pushy. It's not like the only two options are "suffer in silence" or "dramatically declare intense feelings".
    This is so true!

    My INFP boyfriend keeps claiming that we were 'together' since the beginning. At that time we were only hanging out and talking a lot, and while I knew I definitely liked him back then, I never thought we were anything more than 'friends', because we hadn't done the 'it's official' talk and I couldn't be a hundred percent sure that it wasn't all in my head.
    4w5 sp/sx EII

  4. #14
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    MBTI
    INFP
    Posts
    7

    Default

    It's not a bio-clock thing. I don't want kids, and neither does he. We both, however, want cats.

    It's really just that I'm so accustomed to guys who are obviously into me in the beginning of a relationship. Then again, I've been with a lot of ENFPs, who wear their hearts on their sleeves at all times. I have always assumed that if a guy likes you, he'll pursue like a white knight. In this case, I am doing more of the pursuing, and he is enthusiastically receptive, and seems to enjoy my pursuit, but I'd like to know we are on the same page at least. I want a long-term, serious relationship with someone who is easy to get along with and loves art, literature, cats (as I mentioned), traveling, good food, doesn't want kids, is liberal, introverted, and has a similar sense of humor to mine. I want monogamy. I want to be there for someone and vice versa through thick and thin. I want love. He and I seem perfect together, but it's taking a while to feel that bond, the spirit of being a team.

  5. #15
    Senior Member FunnyDigestion's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    4
    Posts
    1,137

    Default

    To me that sounds like something that will grow over years & years-- though you may feel that deep connection immediately, it might take sharing your lives together for a pretty good while before you build up the sense of being a team that faces life together as one.

    Did you read the post I made in your other thread?

Similar Threads

  1. [INFP] The INFP Files: The You, Me, and We Guide to the Galaxy
    By Thursday in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 04-28-2013, 09:29 AM
  2. [INFP] INFPs, can you relate to the martyr stereotype?
    By lapalm in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 20
    Last Post: 02-11-2011, 07:39 PM
  3. [ENFP] How do I get to the dating phase with an ENFP?
    By YoungGun2112 in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 15
    Last Post: 04-17-2009, 10:53 AM
  4. Replies: 23
    Last Post: 07-30-2008, 08:38 PM
  5. Add another INFP to the list...
    By Cindyrella in forum Welcomes and Introductions
    Replies: 22
    Last Post: 07-20-2007, 01:47 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO