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  1. #11
    Senior Member ceecee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mmhmm View Post
    i say "sorry, not sorry" a lot.
    Hehehe..I say...

    I'm sorry.
    No you're not.
    Yeah you're right. I'm not.
    I like to rock n' roll all night and *part* of every day. I usually have errands... I can only rock from like 1-3.

  2. #12
    pathwise dependent FDG's Avatar
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    I compromise on everything there is to compromise, to the point of being a pushover, excepting some matters which I consider as completely impossible to compromise about: where to live (i.e. I don't want to live where I want to, but I will never live somewhere i DON'T want to for the sake of my partner's happiness), what do to as career. Everything else seems to be relatively minor i.e. I am fine with going out whenever she wants, doing everyday things how she prefers (as long as I get to have some free time), etc.. However, if the other party is also set on his ways about the same things and our preferences don't intersect, then the relationship is going to end.
    ENTj 7-3-8 sx/sp

  3. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by FDG View Post
    I compromise on everything there is to compromise, to the point of being a pushover, excepting some matters which I consider as completely impossible to compromise about: where to live (i.e. I don't want to live where I want to, but I will never live somewhere i DON'T want to for the sake of my partner's happiness), what do to as career. Everything else seems to be relatively minor i.e. I am fine with going out whenever she wants, doing everyday things how she prefers (as long as I get to have some free time), etc.. However, if the other party is also set on his ways about the same things and our preferences don't intersect, then the relationship is going to end.
    I've also feel like a pushover, but I don't care about the minor things, either. I would often give in if it really didn't matter that much to me. Troubles began when my SO couldn't give me the few things that I cared the most about. I'm very easygoing about most things and in return, I also like my alone time. I

    On the other hand, I think that if you're too accomodating, someone may think you have no preferences. I love it when someone asks me how I feel or what I'd like to do so that at least I have my say.

  4. #14
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Huxley3112 View Post
    He thinks that if your partner doesn't want to say, go to a family's dinner party, or help you do garden work, or engage in shared activities that you might feel important to the relationship, that you should accept this, and that if you don't and feel dissapointed, its your own issue.
    These aren't compromises; these are whims of the moment. It's important to distinguish between the two because a true compromise involves finding common ground and agreement through communication. If a partner is going to refuse to attend a dinner, or help you dig a hole in the garden because of a capricious insistence on how they are "feeling" in the moment, then to me that's more indicative of a self-absorbed narcissist than someone who truly wants to engage in a full, open and caring partnership.

    What you describe above is about not wanting to be truly available to each other - plain and simple. It's about maintaining a fail-safe bail-out from the time and consistent attention a relationship deserves and requires.
    "Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one."
    Eleanor Roosevelt


    "When people see some things as beautiful,
    other things become ugly.
    When people see some things as good,
    other things become bad."
    Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

  5. #15
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    [QUOTE=PeaceBaby;1581585]These aren't compromises; these are whims of the moment. It's important to distinguish between the two because a true compromise involves finding common ground and agreement through communication. If a partner is going to refuse to attend a dinner, or help you dig a hole in the garden because of a capricious insistence on how they are "feeling" in the moment, then to me that's more indicative of a self-absorbed narcissist than someone who truly wants to engage in a full, open and caring partnership.

    What you describe above is about not wanting to be truly available to each other - plain and simple. It's about maintaining a fail-safe bail-out from the time and consistent attention a relationship deserves and requires.[/QUOTE]

    All so true and especially the bolded. When you find someone who truly wants to be available to you and you to him in an unguarded way, it's gold.

  6. #16
    You have a choice! 21%'s Avatar
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    I agree with the other posters.

    If something is very important to me, I'll expect him to respect that. Same goes for his beliefs. Other things are just trivial.

    Of course, "small things" may be indications for bigger issues. I totally agree with Lauren on this. I don't think 'absolute freedom' can exist in a relationship. A lot of people claim you should be able to do whatever you want in a relationship, that it shouldn't 'change' you, but relationships are not just about you. In fact, if you truly care about the other person, the things you do won't even be compromises. You'll be wanting to do it.
    4w5 sp/sx EII

  7. #17

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    What's the difference between compromise and cooperate? They both seem similar but cooperate has a nice ring to it. I'll cooperate but won't compromise.

  8. #18
    You have a choice! 21%'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wolfy View Post
    What's the difference between compromise and cooperate? They both seem similar but cooperate has a nice ring to it. I'll cooperate but won't compromise.
    I agree. Compromise suggests unwillingness. Cooperate doesn't
    4w5 sp/sx EII

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