[MBTI General] Is it more or less difficult to be a feeler

[Lark]

Who is extroverted or introverted and why?

 

[Anew Leaf]

Than what?

 

[Randomnity]

They're both difficult in their own special way.

 

[Thalassa]

I always thought maybe being T it would be easier to "maintain" like not be as upset by certain things, and like be able to function better alone and not be as dependent upon relationship harmony. etc.

On the other hand, sometimes I feel like I'm more alive as a feeler, like I feel everything so deeply, so I wouldn't trade it.

I have no desire to be a Thinker, although I realize it could make it easier to act independently and calmly.

Then again, some people say emotional intensity isn't a feeler thing but just a characteristic that some people have. I've sure as hell seen some "emotionally intense" behavior in IxTJs quite opposing their usually stereotyped robotic, detached manner.

 

[skylights]

depends on your context and your goals.

 

[Santosha]

These questions are so strange to me. I mentioned it before... how could a "feeler" have any point of reference to compare and contrast with "non-feelers"? Its just silly to me. As a feeler, I might be more sensitive to things.. but I'd never give up being a feeler because well, I love myself, I naturally have a preference for it, and I sincerely believe that emotions ARE intelligence. Infact, the idea of being emotionally unaffected and flat in life is fucking horrifying! Beign a feeler is only difficult when other people do rude, thoughtless shit, and care more about the bottom line than people. (And ya, feelers can do this too when unhealthy or sucked too far into an ideal.) Aside from that.. I love that I can read peoples moods, know exactly what to say or do to heal another, can look at a piece of art and connect, can feel music resonate within me. I love being enthusiastic, and seeing my enthusiasm affect those around me. I'd rather FEEL alive than think alive, anyday. I mean, if your wondering if the world is harder on feelers than thinkers.. I don't think you could compare it this way.

 

[Randomnity]

I think the OP is actually asking whether extroverted feelers have it harder than introverted feelers, although I may be wrong.

 

[Santosha]

I think the OP is actually asking whether extroverted feelers have it harder than introverted feelers, although I may be wrong.

OH!

Ya, still don't know who has it harder.... =D

 

[kyuuei]

I'm an extrovert, for the record.

If you mean if I think it's more difficult to be an ExF or an IxF, I think IxF's have a harder time of it..
If you're asking if us feelers have it more difficult than thinkers, I think we have it easy when it comes to sorting ourselves out and expressing it to others.. but what I struggle with most of the time is validity and the general apathetic nature of others.

 

[Thalassa]

I think ExFx might have a harder time in a way sometimes, though, because we can be more expressive and can embarrass ourselves with our feeler-ish ways more easily...IxFx can hide it better.

I don't think it's just me, either, though it may not apply to every single ExFx.

 

[Crescent Fresh]

I think ExFx might have a harder time in a way sometimes, though, because we can be more expressive and can embarrass ourselves with our feeler-ish ways more easily...IxFx can hide it better.

I don't think it's just me, either, though it may not apply to every single ExFx.

Though we can hide it better, I think it's more difficult for IxFx to go through the solitude alone. The inner-struggle often takes so much time to heal as well. IxFx (especially with J function) often have a great tendency to explode in public and letting all of our Fe running everywhere. So I honestly would rather trade the "T" with "F" as it's difficult for me to be expected from others that we're independent but really, deep inside of us we're just the exact opposite.

So yeah, it's tough.

 

[Such Irony]

I don't know, both bring their challenges. ExFx types are more likely to wear their hearts on their sleeve and their emotional expressiveness can sometimes get them into trouble or scare people away. IxFx types feel things just as strongly but are more likely to hold it in. Holding things in for too long isn't always healthy. They may hold things in for a long time and then "explode" out of the blue.

 

[Viridian]

Does the OP mean IxFx vs. ExFx or Fi user vs. Fe user?

 

[SilkRoad]

I think in terms of getting over things and moving on, I'd definitely rather be ENFP or INFP than ENFJ or INFJ. That's probably the angle I'd approach it from.

 

[Elfboy]

being I?F? sounds like it friggin sucks (on offense intended, most I?F?s I know just seem like life is very hard for them and they're hypersensitive to conflict).
being E?F? doesn't seem so bad. being an ENFP just sucks if you're a guy because the vast majority of men are STs and don't understand you at all

 

[Lark]

A little bit of context, I see the I and E functions as about experiencing others as energising or draining, given that would finding others energising or draining make it easier or more difficult if you were using the feeling cognitive trait more than the alternatives? Would you need more or less co-regulation of emotional states or support in a crisis or be more emotionally crisis prone if you are an I or E Feeler?

 

[Anew Leaf]

A little bit of context, I see the I and E functions as about experiencing others as energising or draining, given that would finding others energising or draining make it easier or more difficult if you were using the feeling cognitive trait more than the alternatives? Would you need more or less co-regulation of emotional states or support in a crisis or be more emotionally crisis prone if you are an I or E Feeler?

Maybe I am having a hard time understanding what you are saying but I think the differences aren't necessarily if you are an I or an E, but if you process emotions as an I or an E. Using Fi (as an external process) is fairly draining for me after awhile... Fe even more so. Yet, I know my XNFJ friends could go hours on emotional things with others. I am more of an emotional sprinter .

I can handle the emotions of one person in a "one-on-one" kind of setting for a decent amount of time. The larger the group the more difficult. Which is a main reason why I loathed pep rallies so much as a kid.

 

[Elfboy]

Maybe I am having a hard time understanding what you are saying but I think the differences aren't necessarily if you are an I or an E, but if you process emotions as an I or an E. Using Fi (as an external process) is fairly draining for me after awhile... Fe even more so. Yet, I know my XNFJ friends could go hours on emotional things with others. I am more of an emotional sprinter .

I can handle the emotions of one person in a "one-on-one" kind of setting for a decent amount of time. The larger the group the more difficult. Which is a main reason why I loathed pep rallies so much as a kid.

I always thought pep rallies were weird as hell. I would sit in the back and be like "why is everyone being so emotional? yuck"

 

[Rail Tracer]

I think in terms of getting over things and moving on, I'd definitely rather be ENFP or INFP than ENFJ or INFJ. That's probably the angle I'd approach it from.

Ahhhh, moving on is a hard thing to do, even for the FPs, especially when some of us are/were unwilling to ask for help. But I think it has more to do with being introverted than it does being FP.

 

[skylights]

i'm not much good at moving on, either.
but i did love pep rallies!


anyway.

ExFx good things in my experience:
cheering people up, inspiring, motivating, being emotional support, encouraging unity (sometimes enforcing unity), being a trailblazing/troubleshooting leader, very calm when others are having emotional crises, reading "atmosphere" of a group, skilled at cross-communication / translation / mediation, very often externally feeling-engaged, ease of reading individuals and quickly adapting to their emotional states.

ExFx bad things in my experience:
getting lonely easily, needing external engagement to get out of an emotional funk, getting really wound up after more than a day or so without human interaction, being overly demonstrative when i get really angry (the fabled ENFP "Te attack"), that awful empty feeling after the party's over and you're driving home alone (probably ExFP-specific).