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  1. #11
    Senior Member Onceajoan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KDude View Post

    On another note, if you feel the same way about him, let it be known in one way or another. Don't do that IFJ thing where you go off and ponder in silence too much. ;D
    KDude - I hear you. Thanks!

  2. #12
    Honor Thy Inferior Such Irony's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Onceajoan View Post
    What does "I really like you a lot" mean to you?" infps or any other nf. Thanks for your thoughts.
    Depends on the context of the situation and the body language used. It could just simply mean "I like you a lot" or it could be a hint that the other person wants a deeper and more romantic relationship.
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  3. #13
    Senior Member Onceajoan's Avatar
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    Just what I thought. Thanks SuchIrony. BTW: It's not fair when you do the PUER thing! You must prefer incognito.

    Not that this will help illuminate the context or body language, but it was all strange: the mood, the dialogue - the body language less so (I read body language really well). He was acting a bit atypical - very, very cool, very controlled, then he let out a smug smile when I started getting uncomfortable as if he was enjoying seeing me squirm (I sounded like an idiot discussing how I missed him). He seemed to think this was funny (I guess?) It seemed sadistic. But, he's not that kind of person. So it got me wondering - what is he hiding from me? "I really like you a lot" can me just simply mean "I really like you a lot" or something else - "I love you", "I'm attracted to you", "I don't want to hurt your feelings so I'm telling you this..." , "I'm falling for you", "I more than just like you - you're an important part of my life." I don't want to ask him because he's an INFP - and I don't want to push him to reveal his feelings for me until he's ready. Although I don't know exactly what he meant by the phrase, I was glad to hear it. I now know he feels something for me which I had suspected - although it was expressed only nonverbally which is open to even more interpretation. Now the cat's out of the bag, so to speak.
    What if everything's an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet. - Woody Allen

  4. #14
    Senior Member King sns's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Onceajoan View Post
    Ummm... Well I'm afraid I can't be of too much help in terms of context. He made the statement towards the close of a conversation. I'm not exactly where tho.. There was nothing said right before the comment the he was responding to except silence. I can say that he's never expressed his feelings for me verbally to me before. I think it was difficult. With us it's always reading between the lines. Our relationship has seemed to become much more serious lately - at least that's what I feel when I'm around him. I feel like I've fallen in love with him and so has he fallen for me (but I don't know). Lately I've been missing him and that's what we were talking about. Its difficult for me to see him on a frequent basis and that hurts me. When I told him, he responded by saying he thought it was brave for me to tell him this. It didn't seem brave to me. Rather it seems like the truth. Does a person necessarily associate missing someone with loving them? Is this what he thinks. I was uncomfortable talking to him - squirming and acting nervous because I didn't know what to say (although I had rehearsed it a dozen times). He had a smug, self satisfied look on his face that I've never seen before. I don't know what that meant... I do know that he made the comment some time after this...

    Hope this provides context.
    Unfortunately, for me, there's no context
    I guess I'd almost have to see him to know what you're saying.

    HOWEVER, (Good news)
    Without further descriptors, I'd assume that he meant what he said...

    Also,
    sooo cute
    06/13 10:51:03 five sounds: you!!!
    06/13 10:51:08 shortnsweet: no you!!
    06/13 10:51:12 shortnsweet: go do your things and my things too!
    06/13 10:51:23 five sounds: oh hell naw
    06/13 10:51:55 shortnsweet: !!!!
    06/13 10:51:57 shortnsweet: (cries)
    06/13 10:52:19 RiftsWRX: You two are like furbies stuck in a shoe box

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  5. #15
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KDude View Post
    If I felt the urge to say that to someone, it'd entail that they meant a lot. I don't know about this guy, but I don't say things like that casually. But if they weren't very receptive to it, then I might leave it at that.

    On another note, if you feel the same way about him, let it be known in one way or another. Don't do that IFJ thing where you go off and ponder in silence too much. ;D

  6. #16
    Senior Member Santosha's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    says the se user haha that's great s n s.
    i on the other hand would need to take everything i know about our relationship to determine what was meant...it could mean i really like you a lot but... or god can't you see how much i like you!! or i can't act on it because of this or that that we are both aware of but please don't take it personally...etc etc..
    Thats funny. Same exact thoughts and hypotheticals on this one Lady X. =D
    Man suffers only because he takes seriously what the gods made for fun - Watts

  7. #17
    Senior Member King sns's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Onceajoan View Post
    Ummm... Well I'm afraid I can't be of too much help in terms of context. He made the statement towards the close of a conversation. I'm not exactly where tho.. There was nothing said right before the comment the he was responding to except silence. I can say that he's never expressed his feelings for me verbally to me before. I think it was difficult. With us it's always reading between the lines. Our relationship has seemed to become much more serious lately - at least that's what I feel when I'm around him. I feel like I've fallen in love with him and so has he fallen for me (but I don't know). Lately I've been missing him and that's what we were talking about. Its difficult for me to see him on a frequent basis and that hurts me. When I told him, he responded by saying he thought it was brave for me to tell him this. It didn't seem brave to me. Rather it seems like the truth. Does a person necessarily associate missing someone with loving them? Is this what he thinks. I was uncomfortable talking to him - squirming and acting nervous because I didn't know what to say (although I had rehearsed it a dozen times). He had a smug, self satisfied look on his face that I've never seen before. I don't know what that meant... I do know that he made the comment some time after this...

    Hope this provides context.
    So, you've known him for a while, and he's saying this now? What's the status of your current relationship? Somehow this is sounding pretty promising.
    06/13 10:51:03 five sounds: you!!!
    06/13 10:51:08 shortnsweet: no you!!
    06/13 10:51:12 shortnsweet: go do your things and my things too!
    06/13 10:51:23 five sounds: oh hell naw
    06/13 10:51:55 shortnsweet: !!!!
    06/13 10:51:57 shortnsweet: (cries)
    06/13 10:52:19 RiftsWRX: You two are like furbies stuck in a shoe box

    My Nohari
    My Johari
    by sns.

  8. #18
    Senior Member KDude's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Onceajoan View Post
    Just what I thought. Thanks SuchIrony. BTW: It's not fair when you do the PUER thing! You must prefer incognito.

    Not that this will help illuminate the context or body language, but it was all strange: the mood, the dialogue - the body language less so (I read body language really well). He was acting a bit atypical - very, very cool, very controlled, then he let out a smug smile when I started getting uncomfortable as if he was enjoying seeing me squirm (I sounded like an idiot discussing how I missed him). He seemed to think this was funny (I guess?) It seemed sadistic. But, he's not that kind of person. So it got me wondering - what is he hiding from me? "I really like you a lot" can me just simply mean "I really like you a lot" or something else - "I love you", "I'm attracted to you", "I don't want to hurt your feelings so I'm telling you this..." , "I'm falling for you", "I more than just like you - you're an important part of my life." I don't want to ask him because he's an INFP - and I don't want to push him to reveal his feelings for me until he's ready. Although I don't know exactly what he meant by the phrase, I was glad to hear it. I now know he feels something for me which I had suspected - although it was expressed only nonverbally which is open to even more interpretation. Now the cat's out of the bag, so to speak.


    Personally, I don't think you should be worried about his feelings too much. I say this with hestitation (because I can't speak for everyone), but I resent the type of descriptions of INFPs out there a little bit (like parts in this one) that make them reserved and guarded in a way like they need to be coddled. He's a grown guy, not a 4 year old. Just have fun. It sounds like he's ready enough, and trying to be as open at the moment as he can. INFPs are spontaneous (more than you perhaps), but they're not always going to be immediately/obviously forward or opportunistic the way Se is. I mean, I can be myself, but it's second nature to me.. I only do it because people expect it. But I'd rather just meet someone halfway, instead of having to push and be the one responsible for getting everything out in the air.

  9. #19
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    I think it means he's hanging out on a limb. Did you reciprocate?

  10. #20
    Senior Member Onceajoan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nerd Girl View Post
    I think it means he's hanging out on a limb. Did you reciprocate?
    Haha! I could take that one or two ways. Yeah, I think he's hanging out in both ways.

    Thanks everyone for responding - what I think I got out of it is just relax and go with the flow - the infp way, don't overintepret/overanalyze his words ( who knows exactly what he means - the fact he said anything is big), I also could have said something in return to reassure him (unfortunately, I tend to freeze in these situations). Oh well, there's always next time.
    What if everything's an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet. - Woody Allen

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